TheMoreYouKnow Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 (edited) Hi all, Fresh new member here.. I read about many people here doing this, and it gave them a sense of relief and some even said it helped them get closure. I wrote a letter, and I know i'm not gonna send it to her, however I think if I post it here, it'll be a good weight off my shoulders, and maybe even encourage others to do it too, as it's much better venting here than breaking NC. So here it is.. Now I'm gonna sit back, enjoy a beer and watch movies until I fall asleep. Starting a brand new day tomorrow and it's only right to make the best of it, as I have been trying for the past couple months. I hope everyone out there going through a breakup heals soon. Heartbreak sucks. It's even crazier that usually the one that does the dumping is having a great time, not knowing the misery the dumpee is going through. But such is life. Life has an interesting way of working and it's always when you go through the worst times, that you receive a huge blessing afterwards. Stay strong everyone. You are not alone in this... _____________________________________________________________ [Letter content redacted] _____________________________________________________________ Edited May 17, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
aloneinaz Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 Thank goodness you're NOT sending that.. I hope in the near future you've met a hot girl you totally dig. You then get back on here and read that and say "OMG.. WTF was wrong with me?"..
Author TheMoreYouKnow Posted May 17, 2015 Author Posted May 17, 2015 Thank goodness you're NOT sending that.. I hope in the near future you've met a hot girl you totally dig. You then get back on here and read that and say "OMG.. WTF was wrong with me?".. Oh yeah.. Today marks a month of my buddy's passing and I was emotional and vulnerable. I'm not sending this. I know I'm not. I just wanted to write it and get it off my mind. Kinda like journaling.. I look at myself on day 1 of the breakup and I'm like WTF was wrong with me. I can't wait till I say the same thing about where I am now. Definitely making progress.
Author TheMoreYouKnow Posted May 17, 2015 Author Posted May 17, 2015 Oh and by the way I see your name in a lot of threads.. love your advice!
darkbloom Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 Your letter got taken down. What the hell did you post in it??
Author TheMoreYouKnow Posted May 17, 2015 Author Posted May 17, 2015 Your letter got taken down. What the hell did you post in it?? I decided to pull it.. as my post above mentioned, i was vulnerable and emotional. It wasn't anything bad mouthing her or anything. All good things, however not something I should send. I'm not. I just needed to "send" it somewhere to get that feeling. I gotta say, it felt good. First time I join one of these forums and there is so much good advice here I can't believe I've never been on one of these before.
darkbloom Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 This forum literally has the best advice about anything. I would advise reading through other stories and responses in the Breaks and Breaking Up forum. Post BU, I was tempted to break NC and beg for him back. I would check LS every morning before work and obsessively on my lunch break. It helped me realize that I am not alone and that there are people going through almost exactly what happened to me. Whenever I feel my anxiety flare up, I come here and sift through the forums. I make sure to post any of my (crazy) ideas here before I do them. Like a few weeks ago when I wanted to send my ex's mom a Mother's Day card. I am SO glad I didn't send it. I feel it would have opened a door I did not want opened. You can be emotional and vulnerable on an anonymous forum and no one here will judge you. Because guess what? We have been there. We are there. It gets better with time. Keep your head up.
Author TheMoreYouKnow Posted May 17, 2015 Author Posted May 17, 2015 This forum literally has the best advice about anything. I would advise reading through other stories and responses in the Breaks and Breaking Up forum. Post BU, I was tempted to break NC and beg for him back. I would check LS every morning before work and obsessively on my lunch break. It helped me realize that I am not alone and that there are people going through almost exactly what happened to me. Whenever I feel my anxiety flare up, I come here and sift through the forums. I make sure to post any of my (crazy) ideas here before I do them. Like a few weeks ago when I wanted to send my ex's mom a Mother's Day card. I am SO glad I didn't send it. I feel it would have opened a door I did not want opened. You can be emotional and vulnerable on an anonymous forum and no one here will judge you. Because guess what? We have been there. We are there. It gets better with time. Keep your head up. Thanks! I was doing mostly reading from day 1 of the breakup, but today I decided to sign up and interact with others. I read some situations that weren't anywhere as bad as mine, and it made me realize that my situation is NOTHING compared to others. I didn't really know anything about NC or anything like that.. I went about a month or so receiving breadcrumbs, tolerating bs, and just not helping myself heal. After reading some more stories, I learned a lot. Doing my own thing now, and working on some life goals that I want to have accomplished by the end of this year, and that's keeping me busy enough. Little by little it's getting better. Time really does heal.
darkbloom Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 Thanks! I was doing mostly reading from day 1 of the breakup, but today I decided to sign up and interact with others. I read some situations that weren't anywhere as bad as mine, and it made me realize that my situation is NOTHING compared to others. I didn't really know anything about NC or anything like that.. I went about a month or so receiving breadcrumbs, tolerating bs, and just not helping myself heal. After reading some more stories, I learned a lot. Doing my own thing now, and working on some life goals that I want to have accomplished by the end of this year, and that's keeping me busy enough. Little by little it's getting better. Time really does heal. I stalked the website for two months before signing up. I did not feel worthy enough to comment and give advice because there are some people on these boards that are fantastic. It's like being invited to sit with NC royalty or something. This website has arguably taught me more than my 4 years of college. The NC guide is more useful than any of the thousands of things I had to read for college. It should be required reading for all with tests and practice exams. At least I know I am now qualified to give advice. When I see some poor soul about to do something terrible to mess up their healing I have to get involved.
Author TheMoreYouKnow Posted May 17, 2015 Author Posted May 17, 2015 I stalked the website for two months before signing up. I did not feel worthy enough to comment and give advice because there are some people on these boards that are fantastic. It's like being invited to sit with NC royalty or something. This website has arguably taught me more than my 4 years of college. The NC guide is more useful than any of the thousands of things I had to read for college. It should be required reading for all with tests and practice exams. At least I know I am now qualified to give advice. When I see some poor soul about to do something terrible to mess up their healing I have to get involved. Haha for real. I'm looking to go back to grad school, and I think i should suggest an NC guide as a course! But I see what you mean. I'm still hesitant to give advice, because I'm still in the healing process. I usually am the one out of all my close friends that gives advice. I just suck at listening to my own, which brought me here. However that was probably one of the best things I stumbled upon. Couldn't be more thankful.
darkbloom Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 Haha for real. I'm looking to go back to grad school, and I think i should suggest an NC guide as a course! But I see what you mean. I'm still hesitant to give advice, because I'm still in the healing process. I usually am the one out of all my close friends that gives advice. I just suck at listening to my own, which brought me here. However that was probably one of the best things I stumbled upon. Couldn't be more thankful. I am also looking at going back to graduate school. We should possibly start a course or a certificate or something. Distance learning if need be. Anything so that people know there are better ways to handle things than what they have been doing. You are still qualified to give advice especially if you have been receiving breadcrumbs and responding to them before being converted into the NC convent. I have posted in another forum that there should be NC chips. Similar to AA but for 30 days and 60 days of not allowing yourself to get another high from contacting your ex. We often cannot take our own advice because we see our situation as 'different.' This website is a nice slap back into reality. Mainly the reality that we are all living out similar situations and that yes, in fact, our advice does apply to ourselves. And we are not special or unique.
Author TheMoreYouKnow Posted May 17, 2015 Author Posted May 17, 2015 I am also looking at going back to graduate school. We should possibly start a course or a certificate or something. Distance learning if need be. Anything so that people know there are better ways to handle things than what they have been doing. You are still qualified to give advice especially if you have been receiving breadcrumbs and responding to them before being converted into the NC convent. I have posted in another forum that there should be NC chips. Similar to AA but for 30 days and 60 days of not allowing yourself to get another high from contacting your ex. We often cannot take our own advice because we see our situation as 'different.' This website is a nice slap back into reality. Mainly the reality that we are all living out similar situations and that yes, in fact, our advice does apply to ourselves. And we are not special or unique. For real.. I've been giving some advice, because as you said I was going through the breadcrumbs. I've been saying don't accept that, because it means nothing. THe person broke up with you, and want to feel good about themselves by keeping you as a "friend". And yeah this website has been a nice slap of reality. I definitely love seeing some of the responses on here, because they help me get that "Ah Ha!" moment.
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