sugar22 Posted April 23, 2005 Posted April 23, 2005 Its been a month since i broke up with him. We were together for just over 6 months and it was the most amazing relationship. My ex had a bad run of luck in relationships before me. Each woman in his life has broken his heart. I am the only one who treated him like a king and loved him with all my heart. Yet he ended it because he is not ready to settle down. I know its because he is scared. Scared of how much i can hurt him. If the other girls he has dated didn't treat him or love him like i did - imagine the damage i could do. I have tried my absolute hardest to have no contact. But i cant. I still love him to death and i know he feels the same. He is listening to his head not his heart. We spent hours on the phone the other night and he even talked about us having children together. He knows he will regret this decision in the future but for now he just wants to be on his own. I wish he did something for me to hate him so its easier to move on but i still think he is one of the most beautiful people i have met. I cant think of my future without him in it. The hardest thing is that he knows the potential we had. He works in retail and tells me he sees newlyweds come into his work so in love and so happy and he knows he had that but he let it go. He tells me he wakes up so mad at me sometimes because he wishes i came into his life later. How do I move on?? I am an emotional wreck. Its been a month and i am still crying as much as i did the day we broke up. I have been trying to keep myself as busy as possible but no matter what i do i am miserable. I have gone out every Friday and Saturday night but no matter what i don't want to be there i just want to be at home depressed. I have never been this hurt before in the past when a relationship i was in ended i just moved on. I am so lost and confused. I just don't know what to do anymore....
Angeleyez2583 Posted April 23, 2005 Posted April 23, 2005 Hey! I'm in the same situation you are. The only reason my ex broke up with me is because I had a drinking problem. But let me tell you right now, I stopped drinking. Anyway, it is very obvious the feelings are still there from both of us. He'll flirt with me, and I'll flirt back. He is very different then most guys I've dated though, and I know he's not trying to lead me around on a string. He'll help me when I need it (he's helped me with a project, helped me with a question I had about exam material, and is helping me move). I know this because we do not call eachother. We'll text eachother, but that's the extent of everything outside of class. And he knows I've stopped drinking and has told me that the only reason he broke up with me was because of the drinking. (the night it happened he kept telling me he loved me all night). So anyway, it's very very hard for me too because I still love him and NC is extremely hard. He wants to remain very good friends, w/e that means. I wish I could say, as do you, STOP THINKING WITH UR HEAD AND START THINKING WITH YOUR HEART. All I want is the chance to prove to him I am not drinking anymore. I don't know how words are going to prove that to him. I've decided when he helps me move, I'm going to explain to him that. Also, that I really don't want to lose him as a friend when he leaves. (I'm still trying to think of the right words to say to him). So yeah, this is very hard. It's very hard to even get over them when u see and talk to them every other day, and the feelings always surface again. I think these kind of breakups are the hardest to deal with. At least if the guy was mean, you could just forget about him and move on. Guys who still express feelings but won't do anything about them give us false hope. What I've learned is that, if he wants to come back he will. Otherwise, we just have to move on.
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