na49 Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 Something that I found really interesting in reading everyone's stories (and comparing them to my own) is how people feel extra hurt because they talked about marriage with their ex. They talked about the future. My ex and I had "promise rings" and she didn't keep her promise. We talked about the song we'd dance to at our wedding, what we'd name our first child. I'm 20 for f*ck's sake.. but I was all in on her/our relationship. I'm curious to know if anyone didn't talk about marriage with their ex. I guess the question really applies to the "younger" members here, because as you get older, marriage is talked about more (I think). It seems like marriage is a normal thing to bring up in every romantic relationship even at a young age, and even if both parties aren't serious about it.
AIJ Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 Considering I'm 18 and my ex was 17, we never discussed marriage. Not surprising really, I think we both knew deep down that it wasn't going to be a long-term thing!
darkbloom Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 Yes. We never talked marriage. When we talked about the future it was never in certain terms. I think marriage is a scam though and I never expected the conversation to come up.
mtnbiker3000 Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 "Future Faking". Very common. Sometimes intentional, sometimes not... 3
Ruby65 Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 I agree sometimes it's future faking done intentionally to pull you in and mislead you. Sometimes, it's just because these are the things we say when we're in love, "you're my soulmate", "I want to spend the rest of my life with you," "I'll never leave you," "you're The One," etc. I think most people really believe those things when they say them, or when they talk about marriage and naming future children. They meant it at the time, but then their feelings changed.
BC1980 Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 "Future Faking". Very common. Sometimes intentional, sometimes not... I was gonna bring up the future faking thing too. I think people have different motives. Maybe they mean it at the time, maybe they WANT to mean it, maybe they are just shooting you BS that sounds good in the moment, maybe they are intentionally manipulating you. Whatever the reason, it's extremely careless and feels like a huge betrayal when it ends. OP, to answer you original question, yes, people talk about marriage all the time and don't follow through with it. My ex talked about marriage constantly, and he was usually the one to initiate it. I feel like he played a huge trick on me, and I understand that it makes the betrayal seem worse. All I can say is that you need to be really wary with people and rely on actions. If anything, my entire ordeal has taught me to be careful with what I say to people.
Thecondor1991 Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 Me and my ex talked about it like once, We weren't like being super serious or anything...But I think when you are in the first year of a relationship its easy to dream about things like that because you've just fallen in love and everything seems so perfect.
erklat Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 We talked also. What really hurts is the pain of unrealized expectations.
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