Sunshine89 Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 My ex of 6 years broke up with me at the end of March. 3 weeks later, he had a new girl move into his apartment. They've been dating ever since. She's the opposite of me in every way, and they essentially started where we left off in our relationship....can someone give me their two cents on this situation? I'm really having trouble wrapping my brain around this one.
Holmes85 Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 Sunshine89, Let me offer you some advice. Your Ex Girlfriend already knew this guy before she broke up with you. There is no girl on this planet, who after investing 6 years in a relationship jumps into a new one within weeks. She was already messing around this guy prior to your breakup. Since she couldn't put off the emotional affair any longer, she dropped you off like a hot potato and enterd into a new relationship so quickly. She already made up her mind that she was going to dump you for this guy. I personally would stop all communication off from her and delete her from everywhere. Once enough time has passed, the guilt would start to creep in her mind. The less she has heard from you, the more her curiosity and doubt would arise, ultimately she would start to doubt her decision. Once the honeymoon phase is over with the other guy, she would start making contact with you, by the time she realizes that she's in a train-wreck with the new guy, she would start putting effort to reconcile with you, but by that time you would have moved on and wouldn't bother to be this emotional wreck of a girl. If everything was fine in the relationship and if there was no physical abuse or cheating involved from your end, you would mostly hear from her at some point in the future. But by the time she realizes and comes back, I hope you stand your ground and don't give in too easily and hopefully would have upgraded to a better girlfriend who wouldn't drop you off like garbage like this one and jump into another relationship within weeks.
quattrob Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 Sunshine89, Let me offer you some advice. Your Ex Girlfriend already knew this guy before she broke up with you. There is no girl on this planet, who after investing 6 years in a relationship jumps into a new one within weeks. She was already messing around this guy prior to your breakup. Since she couldn't put off the emotional affair any longer, she dropped you off like a hot potato and enterd into a new relationship so quickly. She already made up her mind that she was going to dump you for this guy. I personally would stop all communication off from her and delete her from everywhere. Once enough time has passed, the guilt would start to creep in her mind. The less she has heard from you, the more her curiosity and doubt would arise, ultimately she would start to doubt her decision. Once the honeymoon phase is over with the other guy, she would start making contact with you, by the time she realizes that she's in a train-wreck with the new guy, she would start putting effort to reconcile with you, but by that time you would have moved on and wouldn't bother to be this emotional wreck of a girl. If everything was fine in the relationship and if there was no physical abuse or cheating involved from your end, you would mostly hear from her at some point in the future. But by the time she realizes and comes back, I hope you stand your ground and don't give in too easily and hopefully would have upgraded to a better girlfriend who wouldn't drop you off like garbage like this one and jump into another relationship within weeks. I think you are confused, TC's Ex is a guy not a girl. 1
Holmes85 Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 Sunshine89, Let me offer you some advice. Your Ex Boyfriend already knew this guy before she broke up with you. There is not a guy on this planet, who after investing 6 years in a relationship jumps into a new one within weeks. He was already messing around this guy prior to your breakup. Since he couldn't put off the emotional affair any longer, he dropped you off like a hot potato and enterd into a new relationship so quickly. He already made up his mind that she was going to dump you for this girl. I personally would stop all communication off from him and delete him from everywhere. Once enough time has passed, the guilt would start to creep in her mind. The less he has heard from you, the more his curiosity and doubt would arise, ultimately he would start to doubt his decision. Once the honeymoon phase is over with the other girl, he would start making contact with you, by the time he realizes that he's in a train-wreck with the new girl, he would start putting effort to reconcile with you, but by that time you would have moved on and wouldn't bother to be this emotional wreck of a guy. If everything was fine in the relationship and if there was no physical abuse or cheating involved from your end, you would mostly hear from him at some point in the future. But by the time he realizes and comes back, I hope you stand your ground and don't give in too easily and hopefully would have upgraded to a better boyfriend who wouldn't drop you off like garbage like this one and jump into another relationship within weeks. *quattrob Thanks for pointing it out. Fixed it!
Ruby65 Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 My ex of 6 years broke up with me at the end of March. 3 weeks later, he had a new girl move into his apartment. They've been dating ever since. She's the opposite of me in every way, and they essentially started where we left off in our relationship....can someone give me their two cents on this situation? I'm really having trouble wrapping my brain around this one. My question to you would be... how do you know any of this is going on? If you're staying in contact with him -- or following him online -- or getting information from mutual friends -- it's time to STOP. Nothing he does right now is going to help you feel better or heal. Any contact or information you get about him is only going to cause you pain. Now is NOT the time to try to figure out what he's doing and why and with who. It's time to try and put the focus on YOU and YOUR life, your healing, and feeling better.
Author Sunshine89 Posted May 16, 2015 Author Posted May 16, 2015 Hi Holmes, Got a good chuckle out of the mixed up pronouns! And thank you. I absolutely agree that they must have had something going on behind my back. I have a hard time understanding why someone would cheat on their girlfriend instead of work on the issues in the relationship. I was willing to do whatever it took to ensure we were a happy and healthy couple, but I guess that willingness was onesided
BC1980 Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 My reaction is the same. There was obviously something going on before you guys broke up. You might never know how long they had been seeing each other, but I'm sure it was more than a few months. No one just up and moves in with someone 3 weeks after a 6 year relationship. Furthermore, who even moves in with someone after only knowing them for 3 weeks? It doesn't make sense does it? I honestly would block this guy in all forms.
Author Sunshine89 Posted May 16, 2015 Author Posted May 16, 2015 My question to you would be... how do you know any of this is going on? If you're staying in contact with him -- or following him online -- or getting information from mutual friends -- it's time to STOP. Nothing he does right now is going to help you feel better or heal. Any contact or information you get about him is only going to cause you pain. Now is NOT the time to try to figure out what he's doing and why and with who. It's time to try and put the focus on YOU and YOUR life, your healing, and feeling better. Ruby, After he broke up with me, I tried to work things out with him. When he broke up with me, he told me it was because of things I was doing (he felt he had to walk on eggshells, he couldn't be open with me etc). I hadn't realized I'd been doing that, so I immediately went out the next day and found a therapist. Since then, we talked regularly and had even met once for coffee. I thought we had a chance to reconcile. He asked me out again, and then a week later he abruptly disappeared. That's when I found out from mutual friend by accident that he had a new girlfriend and that she had moved in with him. I immediately ceased contact with him after that time. I haven't talked to him in almost a month, have blocked him from all social media, and deleted his number. I have told my friends that I want to know absolutely nothing about his life, and he is not to know anything about me. PERIOD. As far as I'm concerned he is dead to me, and he has lost the privilage to talk to me and my family ever again. As part of my healing process, it helps me to talk things out and get other people's perspectives and thought. I heal by talking, and I appreciate all the advice and wisdom you and the rest of the awesome people on this sub share with me 2
BC1980 Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 After he broke up with me, I tried to work things out with him. When he broke up with me, he told me it was because of things I was doing (he felt he had to walk on eggshells, he couldn't be open with me etc). I hadn't realized I'd been doing that, so I immediately went out the next day and found a therapist. Since then, we talked regularly and had even met once for coffee. I thought we had a chance to reconcile. He asked me out again, and then a week later he abruptly disappeared. That's when I found out from mutual friend by accident that he had a new girlfriend and that she had moved in with him. What a POS. Seriously. 2
mitz36 Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 Hi Holmes, Got a good chuckle out of the mixed up pronouns! And thank you. I absolutely agree that they must have had something going on behind my back. I have a hard time understanding why someone would cheat on their girlfriend instead of work on the issues in the relationship. I was willing to do whatever it took to ensure we were a happy and healthy couple, but I guess that willingness was onesided I am going through basically the same thing Sunshine. My relationship of 6.5 yrs was ripped apart one night I found out my bf had cheated with my best friend of over 30 yrs...and they are still together two months later. she has a history of cheating on her husband and my ex had never cheated, he also knew about her past infidelity and irresponsible behaviour. she ended her 20 yr marriage for my bf, has pretty much abandoned her kids, and he fell for her lies and still is. I feel your pain, it hurts and the betrayal is worse than anything. I was nothing but loyal, honest and faithful and he just gave up on us and was too much of a coward to break up with me and she knew all the right things to say to him to get his attention while our relationship was weak. I have anxiety and it had gotten really bad the last year, I know now that that was wearing on him but he never told me. they both knew I was starting to work on it and she even threw it in my face after I confronted her about being a dirty slut. Some men are just plain cowards and are afraid of being alone. you wouldnt catch me jumping into a relationship with someone right out of a longterm, thats asking for trouble! i just hope karma gets them sooner rather than later and until then Im just doing me! This whole thing, as much as it hurts, has actually helped my anxiety and gotten me out of my shell. I am meeting tonnes of new ppl and made some great new friends, and I was the queen of antisocial Get out and get to know yourself again, thats what im doing, I even smile and wave when I see him and he cant even look at me! They can try and run, but they cant hide from guilt 2
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