sirtyner Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 (edited) Okay, so my girlfriend broke up with me yesterday. We had been dating for 3 months and everything seemed to be going fine. We both loved each other and whatnot and there were very little arguments. Anyways yesterday she told me that she didn't think the relationship was fair to me. She told me the reason why she was breaking up with me was because I loved her more than she loved me and that I was putting more effort into the relationship than she was. I have to say I am pretty sad about this but not depressed about it. I still love her and I haven't really talked to her since she broke up with me. I sent her a long text and just left at that but no response. Also when she broke up with me she was bawling her eyes out. I just don't know why she'd cry if she wanted it to end.? What should I do if I want a chance to get her back? Edited May 16, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
erklat Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 Turn away in silence and disappear. You've done everything right for now, just no more long texts. Don't contact her no matter what. If she contacts you, then write here what she said. The part about breakup reason is so called guilt-relieving bnll****. 99.9% of times there is someone else in the picture.
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 I'd say that percentage is a little high, but it's not unreasonable... after all, it's only been 12 weeks.... it's perfectly feasible she may even have been using you as a stop-gap, been attracted by someone else, and moved on. In any case, no matter what the excuse/reason, the fact is, she's moved on, and admitted you were in it 70% to her 30% (let's say, for argument's sake!) Take it as read then, that no amount of effort on your part, will get her back, if she's not into you. The only way to get them back is if the percentages were closer, or reversed. But then, she wouldn't have broken up with you.... Would she?
Author sirtyner Posted May 16, 2015 Author Posted May 16, 2015 I see where y'all are coming from I just don't see why she'd cry her eyes out if she was the one who broke up with me
jen1447 Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 There is a general 'strategy' to get women back that at least has some chance, as opposed to the instinctive get emotional/go overboard reaction. Question is do you really want to. It's normally not a good idea. BUT, if you really want to try, you have to act like you're mostly unaffected by her decision. Good-natured acceptance. If she gets the impression you're cool-headed and not clingy and not emotionally overcome, she may re-evaluate you. But that assumes she's not genuinely just totally done anyway. And you have to accept that the 'strategy' may just be taken at face value and you'll never hear from her again. You can't do it and then go wishy-washy again if it doesn't work. Then of course you have to remain Mr. Cool is she does take you back. Are you up to that? Really you should just move on. 1
smellysocksuni Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 No more texts or phone calls from you - just disappear. This is your best tactic if you stand any chance of getting her back. Just disappear, and be totally nonchalant about the whole thing. BUT don't rely on her coming back - move on, actually DO move on. 2
d0nnivain Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 She was crying because she felt bad for hurting you. There aren't supposed to be arguments in the 90 days. When there are that is a real problem When there are not, that doesn't mean it's a great relationship. It was unbalanced for her & she ended it. Let her go.
Author sirtyner Posted May 16, 2015 Author Posted May 16, 2015 I am doing the no contact thing, I have not texting her at all since the breakup. Also I'm confused why she would not change her relationship status already like I did. I see her posting on Facebook but she doesn't change that status not our pictures together.
Author sirtyner Posted May 16, 2015 Author Posted May 16, 2015 I am trying and I've deleted all our photos together, changed my relationship status etc. But she has not done that at all.
aloneinaz Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 There is a general 'strategy' to get women back that at least has some chance, as opposed to the instinctive get emotional/go overboard reaction. Question is do you really want to. It's normally not a good idea. BUT, if you really want to try, you have to act like you're mostly unaffected by her decision. Good-natured acceptance. If she gets the impression you're cool-headed and not clingy and not emotionally overcome, she may re-evaluate you. But that assumes she's not genuinely just totally done anyway. And you have to accept that the 'strategy' may just be taken at face value and you'll never hear from her again. You can't do it and then go wishy-washy again if it doesn't work. Then of course you have to remain Mr. Cool is she does take you back. Are you up to that? Really you should just move on. This ^^ It was only 3 months and she said "I don't want you in my life anymore".. Why would you want to "chase" someone who doesn't want you? As already mentioned, spend you time finding someone else and IGNORE this girl. 2
elaine567 Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 I am trying and I've deleted all our photos together, changed my relationship status etc. But she has not done that at all. She doesn't have to, as she broke up with you, she knows in her mind it won't work, so seeing your pics may not be distressing for her, or she feels bad at the moment and she doesn't want to finally close it all down on the relationship. I don't know why she was crying, but some reasons 1) she is going to miss you. 2) breaking up is always sad. 3) she didn't like hurting you and seeing you upset. 1
Ruby65 Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 I think one reason dumpers cry is so the dumpee can reassure them that it's okay and that they don't hate them or think they're a "bad person" now.
lolablue17 Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 (edited) Maybe there's more to it. I'm not saying definitely cheating but probably the existence of another guy. Edited May 16, 2015 by lolablue17
aloneinaz Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 I'm not seeing the relevance of her crying? The message was she doesn't want to see you anymore nor want you in her life. At only three months, my thoughts would have been "no, F*** you then".. She wasn't the one. Keep looking for one who wants you.
guest569 Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 My ex cried his eyes out when he dumped me. It doesn't change anything. Its a hard and sad thing to do even if its what they want.
quattrob Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 I am doing the no contact thing, I have not texting her at all since the breakup. Also I'm confused why she would not change her relationship status already like I did. I see her posting on Facebook but she doesn't change that status not our pictures together. You're not doing NC correctly if you're still checking her social media and ANYTHING related to her. Do it right so it will stop confusing you and making you overthink about things.
JollyDays Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 Your ex cheated on you man. That was guilt expressing itself in tears. She's also on her way to the next chapter of her life, and she's trying to close this one as quietly as possible. Don't get caught in the friendzone.
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