Felix01 Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 I caught her many times (secretly). She even looks at her ex's videos ( short videos where he is starring in). She does this almost daily. Girlfriend and I have been going on for 4 months. Is it time for a break up? Our relationship isn't bad at all. In fact she's laughing, kissing me, holds my hand and even says 'i love you' but not all the time. Our relationship has been light and funny at all times. I'm her second boyfriend. About a year before we are together, she was in a long term relationship. The guy cheated on her and dumped her. Hey, I dunno know anymore. I've seen her checking up on the ex many times. I feel like dumping her because I think she's not over the ex. Not a keeper in the long run. Should I hit the road and find another woman?
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 I take it you have discussed this with her? Found out why she is doing this? She may still be heartbroken and curious, but if she's with you, then she's not with him, or necessarily pining after him. Just curious. How many times, in your opinion, SHOULD she be saying 'I love you'...? Unless you communicate with her and try to express how her actions make you feel, you will cause more grief than necessary just dumping her. No decent guy does that. If it bothers you, say so, but in a non-confrontational way. You both sound very young, and both have a lot to learn about making relationships work. Start off right, and do things decently....
SycamoreCircle Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 I caught her many times (secretly). She even looks at her ex's videos ( short videos where he is starring in). She does this almost daily. Girlfriend and I have been going on for 4 months. Is it time for a break up? Our relationship isn't bad at all. In fact she's laughing, kissing me, holds my hand and even says 'i love you' but not all the time. Our relationship has been light and funny at all times. I'm her second boyfriend. About a year before we are together, she was in a long term relationship. The guy cheated on her and dumped her. Hey, I dunno know anymore. I've seen her checking up on the ex many times. I feel like dumping her because I think she's not over the ex. Not a keeper in the long run. Should I hit the road and find another woman?I'm inclined to say yes. But it already sounds like you have a strong character and she is more sheepish and just...there. That's always a detractor to a romantic relationship. And that sounds like the larger issue. Also, anytime someone asks should I dump them?, they are essentially saying I want to dump them. They're asking to be nudged. As the above poster stated, communication can be a mature way of sorting through this problem. Are you ready to go there? Are you ready to communicate with us the real reason you want out of this relationship?
Art_Critic Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 Breakups suck and hurt.. they take time to get over and many times dating someone new can help someone over the hump. IMO.. no don't breakup with her.. she is still hurting from the breakup though, you are most likely a rebound but it isn't all bad.. rebounds do work and last. Be kind to her, and if she knows you know about her looking at his facebook them talk to her about it, in a kind manner and she will come around.
d0nnivain Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 It's up to you. But her behavior tells me you are a rebound. I'm happily married. Early on when I 1st got FB I looked up an EX-BF. We'd been apart for a long time but he was the "one who got away". My curiosity certainly doesn't mean I don't love my husband but it was once, not daily.
Author Felix01 Posted May 16, 2015 Author Posted May 16, 2015 I'm inclined to say yes. But it already sounds like you have a strong character and she is more sheepish and just...there. That's always a detractor to a romantic relationship. And that sounds like the larger issue. Also, anytime someone asks should I dump them?, they are essentially saying I want to dump them. They're asking to be nudged. As the above poster stated, communication can be a mature way of sorting through this problem. Are you ready to go there? Are you ready to communicate with us the real reason you want out of this relationship? I'll tell you soon when I'm absolutely sure.
Author Felix01 Posted May 16, 2015 Author Posted May 16, 2015 It's up to you. But her behavior tells me you are a rebound. I'm happily married. Early on when I 1st got FB I looked up an EX-BF. We'd been apart for a long time but he was the "one who got away". My curiosity certainly doesn't mean I don't love my husband but it was once, not daily. Once you say.. like how many times a week? You think it's a rebound? How do I know it is? I'm guessing you have some experiences
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 read the other responses, Felix01. The problem may not be necessarily that you are a rebound. But there is a problem in your communication with one another....
regine_phalange Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 When I have my facebook account activated I may look up the people who are out of my life but spent good moments with in the past. It may be old friends or it may be ex boyfriends. For me it doesn't mean anything and it's more like gossiping with myself.
d0nnivain Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 Once you say.. like how many times a week? You think it's a rebound? How do I know it is? I'm guessing you have some experiences No once in seven years. A single time. . . within a few weeks of getting a FB account I looked up an EX. Not weekly, not multiple times . . . one time. That was it. Part of it was the novelty of FB itself. The reason I think it's a rebound is that your relationship is so new -- 4 months -- but she's still obsessing over her EX. That tells me she is still not over him. If she was over him, she wouldn't care to know what he's doing or go out of her way to hear his voice. 1
El Pallasso Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 Any form of contact with an ex is an instant break up. Especially when the girl is constantly looking up the ex. This borders on obsession. Have some standards, man. Jeez. There are tons of girls out there who aren't obsessed with an ex. She's basically spitting on your face. It's disrespectful. Think about it for a second, the women here would not be telling a girl to "talk things out with a guy" if he was obsessed and constantly looking up an ex. They would tell her to break up and rightfully so. Simply tell this woman that she is not ready to be in a relationship and leave her. Don't listen to her attempts to rationalize and reel you back in. 1
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