priaz Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 I met a cute guy in my waterpolo class in the fall that I unintentionally fell for. Lets call him Steve. Over winter break, I added Steve on facebook and messaged him once about the class, to which he replied immediately. We're both taking the class again now. He is a shy/quiet guy. So far, he only interacts with the guys in the class, and me occasionally. He has been warming up to me in the past few weeks. He cheers me on when I have the ball, calls my name a lot, gives me pointers, and jokes around with me during the breaks. His aim isn't the best, and he almost hit another guy. other guy: Woahh... me: He (Steve) tried to hit you. Steve: No, that was (me) man me: *smiles and laughs* I asked him via fb last week if he and his friend would like to go swimming with me and my friend. He replied immediately saying he couldn't because he had to meet up with his group for another class. He didn't offer another day or time. I saw Steve on campus today, outside of class, and was going to wave to him, but he completely ignored me. I know he saw me, but he acted like he did not see me. That kind of pisses me off. Come to think of it, that isn't the first time it's happened. I know he isn't interested in me romantically, and I don't really care at this point, but I thought we were friends at least. I thought that was just RUDE. I don't feel like I'm coming off too strong, as I talk to everyone in the class, and have only messaged him twice. I've seen other people from the class on campus, and they've all said hi or waved at me. Yet, he consciously ignored me, which pisses me off. I've decided to give up on him. The only time he willingly talks to me is when we're playing games during class. I was fine with him not being into me romantically, but after seeing him consciously ignore me today, I don't know if I even want to be friends anymore. I'm still ticked off that he would ignore me. The only time I'll talk to him is in class, if he talks to me. I'm not gonna make any more effort. The class is ending in a few weeks, and we'll both be graduating. So I don't really care anymore at this point. Do you think that's a good idea" Am I being too harsh" I'm just fed up.
La.Primavera Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 Rejection sucks. It feels worse when you feel you did nothing wrong. You are right to not waste another second on him. You don't need to be rude but you don't need to make any effort to talk to him either. At least now you know the guy you had a crush on was not worth your time. In a year from now he isn't going to matter to you at all.
todreaminblue Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 I dont know when i am rude to people i get guilt and guilt feels like crap so i prefer to treat them as i do anyone else....and move on.....but be polite and friendly.....who knows he might be having a rough time of it.....when i was rude to a guy who rejected me.....didnt make me feel any better.....it made em feel worse...because i actually do like him.....i dont have to respond anymore with rudeness if he is rude to me...if he is ill say dont be rude to me please...i dont deserve it.....and wish him well.....and ill talk to someone else who treats em with respect....as far as him not liking me...well thats a choice isnt it i have no control over......i am not going to hate on a guy i like because he doesnt like me...it isnt truthful is it?..and besides......being rude ....is pointless...as far as not being friends with your guy you actually do like.....is that what you really want to do? or are you hurt?..deb
Author priaz Posted May 16, 2015 Author Posted May 16, 2015 well, i dont want to be rude either. I'm just not gonna put in any more effort. If he doesn't talk to me, I won't either.
d0nnivain Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 Steve seems socially . . . slow to me. I doubt he gets that you like him. Try another group non-date invite. Say I'm going to a party at Alpha Beta Chi next week; [or to the coffee at the student union; or the protest; or the blah blah bar just any public space / event] You should drop by. That may give him a bit more of a clue.
chelsey Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 it sucks when a crush doesn't get it. he may have other stuff going on in his life that you don't know about. continue to be friendly but not pushy. if he warms up great, if not, there are a bunch of other guys in your classes right? 2
Author priaz Posted May 16, 2015 Author Posted May 16, 2015 It's true that all the other guys in the class are friendlier than he is. Maybe I'll spend more time talking with others.
preraph Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 I think he doesn't want to do anything to encourage you romantically and so he makes his boundary cheering on a team mate, which is pretty minimal attention since anyone would do it.
El Pallasso Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 No. You're angry that he isn't romantically interested in you or won't ask you out. Even if it wasn't that, there is no contract that says a guy must want to be your friend or be friendly with you. If a guy you weren't interested in ignored you, it wouldn't phase you. Yet here you are posting about some random guy you searched for on the internet and even added him on Facebook. You want more than a friendship with this guy but he doesn't even want to be friends with you. He's not obligated to be friends with you. Stop trying to force things. Cut your losses and move on.
Author priaz Posted May 16, 2015 Author Posted May 16, 2015 yeah. i've already accepted that. I'm gonna move on.
katiegrl Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 I think he may actually have a wild crush on you...but is so socially awkward, he doesn't know how to handle his emotions so he takes the opposite route and just ignores you. Sort of like how boys in grade school acted when they were crushing on a girl. Stealing her hat, being mean to her....total opposite of how they felt. It's not so different for adults either, if they're immature, socially awkward, etc. Just offering a different perspective tis all...as his behavior seems quite extreme, being that all you have indicated is that you want to be friends.....
Gary S Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 Try to notice which guys like you and talk to them. Never take them seriously until they take you seriously first.
Author priaz Posted May 16, 2015 Author Posted May 16, 2015 Well, it doesnt matter at this point. Its too late for anything to happen anyways. Ill just cut my losses.
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