pepperplant29 Posted May 15, 2015 Posted May 15, 2015 Is he busy, shy or no longer interested? A guy who I know through a friend and hooked up with once was unavailable at the time. He let me know in an honest way, and I dropped it. We met again months later. As people left, we decided to grab a drink and he made it clear that he liked me and wanted to get to know me and was sorry about before. Because of his behaviour the last time, I wasn't buying it, however as mutual friends speak of him highly, and the fact he seemed like he meant it, I believed him. I didn't expect to Hear from him the next day, However he did message me. Because I know he is shy, I asked him out. He said yes for a day I was working, and as I had no other free time, I suggested meeting in my lunch break. It was all agreed and then on the day, there was torrential rain and he cancelled saying 'maybe let's meet another time' and 'perhaps we will meet when you are back from your holiday'. it upset me a bit, as the uncertainty in his language and lack of enthusiasm left me feeling like he was no longer interested. Also cancelling a date due to rain! I did mention that I felt he wasn't too enthusiastic about meeting up. Unsurprisingly, no reply. I asked a mutual friend and he was surprised but said that his friend was probably just shy and likes being busy. He said he's very reliable so this is unlike him. Also reminded me that he was up front when he didn't want to date. I left it for a few days, and I thought I'd give it a final go and asked him again. He said he's busy this weekend, but maybe next week. I said that I wasn't free certain days, but will leave it up to him when and where. He hasn't really responded to that.
losangelena Posted May 15, 2015 Posted May 15, 2015 I said that I wasn't free certain days, but will leave it up to him when and where. That's all you can do! Do not reach out to him again; wait to see if he reaches out. At the end of the day, whether he is uninterested, shy, or busy, it doesn't matter. All you need to know is that he's not doing anything on his end to hold things up. You've done what you can do, now you sit back and wait.
smackie9 Posted May 15, 2015 Posted May 15, 2015 To hell with him....he's lukewarm at best. He's playing games, time to ditch him and find someone who won't let a little rain wash away an opportunity to spend time with you.
minime13 Posted May 15, 2015 Posted May 15, 2015 It was all agreed and then on the day, there was torrential rain and he cancelled saying 'maybe let's meet another time' and 'perhaps we will meet when you are back from your holiday'. it upset me a bit, as the uncertainty in his language and lack of enthusiasm left me feeling like he was no longer interested. Also cancelling a date due to rain! I did mention that I felt he wasn't too enthusiastic about meeting up. Unsurprisingly, no reply. You gave him attitude after cancelling for a legitimate reason, so he may no longer be interested. You are meeting on a lunch break, which is timed, and when there is a torrential downpour, that adds time to the commute back and forth, and takes away time from your date. I would have cancelled too, because it isn't exactly safe to drive around in a torrential downpour, but not because I just wasn't enthusiastic about meeting someone. However, if they gave me attitude for it, I'd be turned off. Don't be so sensitive to those things and look at his perspective as well. That wasn't a reasonable response to the cancellation, and you jumped to conclusions way too quickly. Potential partners are going to be turned off by that kind of action. Just be patient and understanding.
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 15, 2015 Posted May 15, 2015 This 'mutual friend' doesn't date him and never has. He's evaluating him as a friend, not as a partner, so the two are incomparable. He may be a great pal, but as a date, he royally sucks, and frankly I don't think this is shyness. This is just reluctance, and sadly, I don't think he's into you. Don't take it personally. You seem to be an outgoing, secure and confident person. I would guess then, that if he really IS shy, you'd ultimately find you were incompatible anyway....
Author pepperplant29 Posted May 19, 2015 Author Posted May 19, 2015 Turns out he isn't into me. He said that he's struggling with social anxiety and is messed up and doesn't want to hurt me etc etc. They're all excuses which mean he doesn't want to see me. Thank you for your replies! 1
misspond Posted May 19, 2015 Posted May 19, 2015 Chin up. Sometimes people you meet this way seem attractive, and they think they're ready to spend time with you but then they realise that they just can't. And their reasons are all their own and nothing to do with you at all. I've been through something similar recently and can empathise with your words.
Michelle ma Belle Posted May 19, 2015 Posted May 19, 2015 I know this is a dead duck now that you got your closure BUT why was he not available back in the day? I can only assume he was dating someone already but correct me if I'm wrong.
Author pepperplant29 Posted May 19, 2015 Author Posted May 19, 2015 He wasn't dating someone else and isn't now. when I first met him, he had recently gone through a break up.
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