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Should I meet up with my ex one last time?

livinginthepast_00

By livinginthepast_00
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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livinginthepast_00 New Member

livinginthepast_00

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[About 2 years ago I broke up with my ex bf. We remained friends for a year after the break up, but I got into another relationship, and my friendship with my ex died out. My ex tried to continue to pursue the friendship, but I didn’t, and one day I just stopped contacting him. He sent me emails, and desperately asked me to see him, and not just cut off contact this way – but I knew if I met him, I wouldn’t be able to let him go – so for his sake (since I guess he was always hoping for more even during our friendship),and my new relationship, things between us ended. About 2 months after no contact whatsoever, I contacted him to apologize for walking away without even apologizing or explaining anything. He understood, accepted the apology, and we went back to no contact.

 

 

A year passed since that apology and we both made no effort to contact each other. In fact we both deleted each other off social media and everything else. Nonetheless, I have got to say that this was the most difficult year of my life – and I live with feelings of guilt, remorse, and regret for cutting off ties with him the way I did. A lot of things were left unsaid, and I clinged onto the hope that one day I would bump into him somewhere, and I would tell him how miserable I was for being so immature with him. Recently, I got engaged – and even during the engagement I felt I was betraying my ex for some reason. Because I was going to start a new chapter in life with my fiancé, I felt the need to contact my ex to put the demons of the past at rest.

 

 

I contacted him telling him I’ve been through a very difficult time, and I really need to say a few things to him. It seems that he has been going through the same thing throughout the year. He got into another relationship, but broke it off, feeling he was also ‘betraying’ me. Nonetheless, he’s said that he’ll listen to me, and try his best to solve my situation and leave. He says he just wants to see me happy, and to focus on my health because all the stress is taking a toll on me physically and emotionally. He’s requesting that we just meet once to officially clear things up between us so that we both can move on with our lives peacefully.

 

 

Is this something I should do? I feel like it’s really necessary to get this out of my way for me to fully focus on my fiancé … my intent and my ex’s is merely to tie up loose ends, and then go back to going our separate ways, as getting back together is not an option and won’t ever be.

Edited by livinginthepast_00
BC1980 Established Member

BC1980

Posted
Posted

What are you going to say to him if you meet him? What do you expect him to do or say to help your feelings of guilt, ect?

  • Like 2
aloneinaz Established Member

aloneinaz

Posted
Posted

Hum.. it appears to me you are no where near over him or that relationship. I'm not sure being engaged is the best idea. Why are you so worried about something that you've already discussed and apologized for?

 

Personally, I see zero value in meeting in person or discussing on the phone things that happened in the past. Its ancient history now. You two should stay no contact for several years until ALL the past emotions and feelings are long gone. Then maybe you can be friends on Facebook.

  • Like 4
FortunateSon Established Member

FortunateSon

Posted
Posted
Hum.. it appears to me you are no where near over him or that relationship. I'm not sure being engaged is the best idea. Why are you so worried about something that you've already discussed and apologized for?

 

Personally, I see zero value in meeting in person or discussing on the phone things that happened in the past. Its ancient history now. You two should stay no contact for several years until ALL the past emotions and feelings are long gone. Then maybe you can be friends on Facebook.

 

I agree with this, I am glad I am not your fiancé....

  • Like 4
Ruby65 Established Member

Ruby65

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Posted

You broke up with him.... you stayed in contact until you got yourself a new boyfriend.... and now you want to meet up so YOU can feel better?

 

Nope. When you dump someone, you have to eat it. You eat the guilt. You eat the missing them. You eat second-guessing yourself forever. You eat it all and you don't get to reach out and use them as a safety net or an emotional tampon just so YOU get to feel better about dumping them.

 

:rolleyes:

  • Like 6
coryreply Established Member

coryreply

Posted
Posted

What are the things that need to be cleared up between you? Are they real or imagined?

  • Like 1
dave_1966 Member

dave_1966

Posted
Posted

Do you not think it's a little selfish? If I was him I wouldn't want to meet you in these circumstances. It's crazy.

  • Like 1
Satu Established Member

Satu

Posted
Posted

I'm not sure that it was wise to get engaged when haven't moved on emotionally from your ex.

 

Emotional baggage gets heavier the longer you carry it.

 

No contact.

  • Like 4
minime13 Established Member

minime13

Posted
Posted

This does not read like a happy fiancee that just wants to tie up loose ends. This reads more like a woman who never got over her ex.

 

That being said, you need to ask yourself a question. Would you be able to honestly explain to your fiance why you want to meet up with your ex, and include the details you posted here?

 

If not, then you have bigger things to worry about than meeting up with an ex.

 

I'm not sure being engaged is a good decision for you right now.

  • Like 2
mightycpa Established Member

mightycpa

Posted
Posted
What are you going to say to him if you meet him? What do you expect him to do or say to help your feelings of guilt, ect?

Oh, baby, I didn't mean for it to end the way it did. I didn't know how to tell you that I'd become addicted to riding a new baloney pony, and that it was all physical and nothing personal. I was in love with you, but at the same time I wasn't and I needed to feel that feeling of new romance and it was exciting being the quiver to Cupid's every arrow.

 

If only you could have become my cuckold, I think we could have been so happy together. I know that is selfish of me, and I feel so bad not having told you the truth about myself until now.

 

Now I can go marry my fiance in good conscience. Have a nice life!

 

:lmao::lmao::lmao:

lolablue17 Established Member

lolablue17

Posted
Posted

Yes, something's broken, but you can't fix it. You only want to purify yourself, but you won't achieve it. You did wrong in the past, you're not the perfect person on earth, so just accept that.

 

With your approach, you'll make things worse. I advice you to not meeting him.

  • Like 1
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