KatZee Posted May 15, 2015 Posted May 15, 2015 Why do you have to wait until tomorrow? Leave the note out and go to a friend's house. Why are you just dragging this on? Do you really think you need to be spending the evening with this idiot? For what? For him to somehow prove to you he's not a liar/cheater/POS/manipulator? 3
Author ddlovexx Posted May 15, 2015 Author Posted May 15, 2015 (edited) It's hard to explain. IVe gone through this with him already and I know the best way to get out is to act okay tonight and leave the letter tomorrow and never speak to him again. You don't have to understand but I know this is the best and safest for me. I'll be at work all day and my phone will have to be away. I'm forcing myself to go out tomorrow and telling my friend to hold my phone for me. It's best that I keep any chance away from me for the first few days and then I will feel stronger. I did this with my last breakup too. First day is always hardest. I don't want to be with him. He could get on one knee and ask me to marry him and say it'll never happen again. For once I'm really done. I'm unfortunately usually the kind of person that it takes more than once before I actually get fed up. I'm a forgiver, obviously. But this is it for me. Edited May 15, 2015 by ddlovexx
Author ddlovexx Posted May 16, 2015 Author Posted May 16, 2015 I wrote myself a list of all the cons of being with him. Was gonna post s picture here but guess I cant... Lol corny but I'm sure it'll help at times.
Ruby Slippers Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 You're doing the right thing. You can do better than this. It's better to be single than coiled up with a snake like this. Nobody with a shred of respect would tolerate such a liar. He knows that deep down. Be prepared for him to pull out all the stops to try to manipulate you into staying. These kind of people feed on stupid, self-created drama, and he'll try to suck you into it so he has a warm body to wrestle with. I wouldn't dignify it for a second. If I were you I would leave, block his number, and ignore any and all attempts to contact you. If he gets crazy or threatening, I'd tell him I'd file for a restraining order unless he disappeared. 2
Author ddlovexx Posted May 16, 2015 Author Posted May 16, 2015 He's not the type. His style is that he'll be mad for a day or two and probably leave me alone. Possibly be mean to me but those texts are easy to ignore. And then I'll get the "I'm sorry I did this to you/ never meant to hurt you/ love and wish you the best" texts. And then give it a couple more days and he'll invite me somewhere, dinner or whatever. He would never actually come after me or show up at my place or anything. So obviously I've been through this before. And I know now what to expect and can remind myself. It's so hard. My heart hurts thinking about how much I love him and will miss him. But I guess I'm loving an imaginary man... :'(
preraph Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 I agree that it's almost always safest for a woman to get all her things out before letting the guy know. Sometimes guys get out of control when a woman is trying to leave them, and of course, you're already made up your mind, but they try to change it. Make a clean break. He knows he cheated. He knows why. 1
preraph Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 You need to be sure he can't track your phone. It only takes 15 seconds to download an app to track you with. He could have done that while you were in the bathroom. This situation doesn't sound high risk for that, but these days, a lot of people are doing that. And of course, if by any chance he bought your phone for you, get rid of it or leave it behind and get a new one.
La.Primavera Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 No one deserves to be betrayed like this. He is cruel. Personally, I wouldn't put a notice on craigslist. He has wasted enough of your time and energy as it is. Cut him off completely and don't look back. You are worth so much more.
Author ddlovexx Posted May 16, 2015 Author Posted May 16, 2015 Well I did it. Not the way I wanted to. We spoke. He didn't lash out but he did deny. It's done. I'm broken... But I guess there's nothing left...
Author ddlovexx Posted May 16, 2015 Author Posted May 16, 2015 He kept saying that he didn't cheat physically or emotionally but he clearly did. I'm not even crying and this scares me... Means it's gonna hit me out of nowhere.
Author ddlovexx Posted May 16, 2015 Author Posted May 16, 2015 Now that I'm home I can actually write. He was definitely mad but didn't lash out, also very sad. He kept denying everything, saying it was just talking and that I cant fulfill every single need and sometimes it's nice to talk to other people. He said he loves me and is gonna miss me, but that obviously this is it. He also said that he's sorry he wasted his time and energy and money... But I know that's the anger and hurt speaking. He did call me a sociopath, but whatever... I think he's the sociopath. I put him in my phone as "Do Not Answer" and I know that because he hasn't texted me already, he won't. He kept saying that he wanted a life with me or he wouldn't be with me. Said he wishes I would've talked to him about it when I found out so we could've fixed it instead of this happening... But I replied with "so you can try and tell me it's nothing again? That it won't happen again?" I took my stuff and left. Like I said, I'm not crying and that TERRIFIES me because that means I'm gonna break down out of the blue. But I am shattered. I love this man. I wish we could make it work. 1
joseb Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 Good for you. I worry though that you will answer the do not answer at some stage. Can you block him? Seeing as he has come crawling back before I'd expect more of the same again.
Author ddlovexx Posted May 16, 2015 Author Posted May 16, 2015 (edited) I realize that at this point, even if he came crawling back, that the cons outweigh the pros now. There's no point. I woke up this morning to a text... "I just want you to know that I'm sorry and I will always hate that I blew it. I hope everything works out in your music career and I wish you happiness" :'( Edited May 16, 2015 by ddlovexx
Author ddlovexx Posted May 16, 2015 Author Posted May 16, 2015 He keeps texting. I'm trying to stay strong. Gonna put my phone on silent and hide it in my work drawer.
KatZee Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 I've rolled my eyes so many times that they're about ready to roll right out of my face. Everything he's texting you is such a load of garbage and I hope you see that. He's just trying to manipulate his way back in. I'm not sure what kind of phone you have but if it's an iPhone or an Android you can go to recent calls, hold his phone number down and a menu pops up and you click "add to reject list." You need to block his number. He knows he can get you to come right back to him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know you keep saying it's done. But I have a feeling if he was persistent enough, and he put in enough "work" trying to woo you back, that eventually... just EVENTUALLY you would cave... thinking he's changed, truly become the man you want, enough time has passed, you've forgiven him, can start fresh. You NEED to get this guy out of your phone, blocked on every avenue.
Author ddlovexx Posted May 16, 2015 Author Posted May 16, 2015 (edited) He's already proven he can't change. I just need time to move on. He finally stopped texting and that helps. He's not trying to win me back or anything. Like i said I'm going out later, and my friend is gonna hold my phone for me. I miss him. But one day at a time. He won't even admit he's done anything wrong so that helps me keep my head straight. Edited May 16, 2015 by ddlovexx
preraph Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 I'm so sorry you're going through this, and of course the dam will break soon enough. But you really need to block his texts entirely right now. Exes always know what buttons to push to make you vulnerable. Do not give him the chance. He just wanted you safe at home waiting while he did whatever he wanted, and he won't even own it. Please save yourself daily heartache by blocking his texts and calls and removing him from your Facebook. I'm glad you left. Things can only get better. Yes you have some good memories, and you'll always have those, but good memories don't mean someone is a keeper. In my life there have been many men I loved but couldn't live or stay with. 1
Author ddlovexx Posted May 16, 2015 Author Posted May 16, 2015 I'm starting to struggle already. I'm at work but I can't stop thinking. I keep going between loving and missing him to being so hurt and mad at him for this whole thing. I have no appetite, I kinda wanna cry now. I don't feel the need to text him though... I just feel terrible. Guess I'm dealing with the withdrawal.
katiegrl Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 Well I did it. Not the way I wanted to. We spoke. He didn't lash out but he did deny. It's done. I'm broken... But I guess there's nothing left... I am so sorry dd ..... ((((((group hug)))))))
preraph Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 I'm starting to struggle already. I'm at work but I can't stop thinking. I keep going between loving and missing him to being so hurt and mad at him for this whole thing. I have no appetite, I kinda wanna cry now. I don't feel the need to text him though... I just feel terrible. Guess I'm dealing with the withdrawal. You'll need to give yourself time to mourn as soon as it's possible. I always liked to go to some place out in nature, because that's comforting to me and reminds me how big the universe is and kind of puts one lame man into perspective. But go wherever you feel the most comfort.
Author ddlovexx Posted May 16, 2015 Author Posted May 16, 2015 I just keep thinking about his daughter. I'm attached. I'm the closest thing to a mom and she's the closest thing to a child that I'll ever have. I had an unstable childhood and don't want the same thing for her. I miss him. But I'm so mad. And I wanna be with him. But I don't deserve this. Ugh *falls in a heap* I still haven't cried yet.
preraph Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 I know. He is who put everything else before his poor daughter. Him chasing women is more important to him than giving her stability, apparently. You say she hasn't a mother. Now that you know he's a liar, do you think there's a chance he's been lying about how bad the mother is (unless she's deceased and I missed that part).
Author ddlovexx Posted May 17, 2015 Author Posted May 17, 2015 No, not at all. I practically lived with him. He was broken up with the girl quite some time and then he found out about the baby a month before she was born. Her mom was on drugs as she had the baby so he got full custody. She sees the baby every other weekend but she doesn't really know who she is and doesn't call her mom or anything. I'm with her every day pretty much. He's partiallt upset that I'm gone BECAUSE I was so great to his daughter. He doesn't want me gone. His family loves me, I'm the first girl who's met them in years. He was looking for a better job to better provide for us, wanted me to actually move in again, yadda yaddA. I don't doubt that the man loves me. For the first time in my life I know that a man finally does. But he's obviously got some internal issues that I can't fix nor will I blame myself. Even if he didn't meet up, which is BS, he emotionally cheated and that's enough for me. I love him and want it to work out, but that's the pain talking and I guess it's just not possible. I miss him and his daughter. I was real close to her. P.s. I finally lost it... Fetal position and all.
katiegrl Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 No, not at all. I practically lived with him. He was broken up with the girl quite some time and then he found out about the baby a month before she was born. Her mom was on drugs as she had the baby so he got full custody. She sees the baby every other weekend but she doesn't really know who she is and doesn't call her mom or anything. I'm with her every day pretty much. He's partiallt upset that I'm gone BECAUSE I was so great to his daughter. He doesn't want me gone. His family loves me, I'm the first girl who's met them in years. He was looking for a better job to better provide for us, wanted me to actually move in again, yadda yaddA. I don't doubt that the man loves me. For the first time in my life I know that a man finally does. But he's obviously got some internal issues that I can't fix nor will I blame myself. Even if he didn't meet up, which is BS, he emotionally cheated and that's enough for me. I love him and want it to work out, but that's the pain talking and I guess it's just not possible. I miss him and his daughter. I was real close to her. P.s. I finally lost it... Fetal position and all. Aw my sweet, it "will" get better...I promise! ((more hugs)) This all happened for a reason.. that being is he wasn't good enough for you, and if it took you finding this crap to finally see that....then so be it ...good riddance. HIS loss ...not yours. 1
Author ddlovexx Posted May 17, 2015 Author Posted May 17, 2015 Suffering bad right now. I'm out but I miss him. I wanna text him so bad.
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