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I prefer dominant females

Saturn1990

By Saturn1990
in General Relationship Discussion

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Gloria25 Established Member

Gloria25

Posted
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Having a different preference to the majority does not mean I need therapy. There is no therapy that can cure me because one isn't needed. I need to embrace myself and be true to myself. That's the only way for anyone to be happy not by conforming to what is considered normal. That's a boring existence.

 

I think that as long as someone isn't doing harm to themselves or others that what they do is their own business.

 

Coming from a childhood like mine, I see where I have no attraction to black men. I also prefer rough play in the bedroom. Should I go to therapy because people think I should "stick to my own kind?" Should I have vanilla sex when there's a willing partner out there who will endulge my desires?

 

Yes, it is hard for me...I mean, I've posted endlessly about me trying to find the right "match" who just "gets" me. But am I hurting myself or anyone with my decisions?

 

I don't think therapy will change me. The damage is done. I am who I am. Again, as long as I am not hurting myself or others, I do not see a reason to change.

 

Maybe the OP can find a woman who will indulge him or maybe he'll feel more comfy doing that with a prostitute. I would feel bad if I had to pay someone to get my needs met. I was watching ID and this wife was upset that her husband was sneaking behind her back and paying a hooker to throw champagne strawberries and whip/paddle him. Now, the wife is doing it and that opened the door into him indulging her fantasies too.

 

It may be hard for the OP to find a woman to indulge him. I, myself have costumes I haven't worn, handcuffs, flogger, whip, leash and feathers I bought years ago and have not used because I am gun shy about bringing it up in the bedroom. After Belgian guy told me I looked like a ho cuz I wore platform heels to the bedroom once, that cooled my heels and don't bring up anything outside the "norm" again.

 

I still have good and passionate sex, but I wanna do more things and am getting older. I do not wanna be 50 and finally find a guy ok with me wearing a French Maid costume and making him order me to "service" him :(

 

I miss the bolder me, the one that can walk up to a guy and grab him by the balls and whisper something dirty in his ear. I'm all scared and gun shy. I need a man who can handle a woman who is aggressive in the bedroom.

 

And no, I'm not looking to get a black eye in the bedroom...just a little rough play. I've put my hands around a guy's neck and/or pushed them off and that turned me on...eh, but haven't done anything like that cuz I'm scared what guys are gonna think. One guy actually asked me "how's my RL with my parents" and that pissed/turned me off. I don't want you to be my therapist, I want you to f- me and shut up.

 

So, like the OP, I'm horny, frustrated and getting older...I just wanna find someone cool with me being "me".

  • Like 1
jen1447 Established Member

jen1447

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I want you to f- me and shut up.

That's hilarious. Go look up loveweary and tell him to get at the dishes first. ;)

  • Like 2
Gloria25 Established Member

Gloria25

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This thread really interests me because I can never find sexually dominant women.

 

I dominate everything in my life. Literally everything. I'm type A, Alpha whatever to the bone. If there is a dude I can't dominate in normal life, I eliminate him. lol No joke. If it were less civilized times, I'd probably be killing them off.

 

BUT... I like to let go and enjoy the mystery/ride when it comes to sex. I like a girl who dominates sexually.

 

Hell, if she's good enough, I think it'd be fun to have sex withheld until I did the dishes or polished all the silverware while she sat around in a hot outfit making me polish or scrub faster. :lmao:

 

Typically, my chicks all want me to dominate, which is not only kind of boring, it's what I do all day. I don't want to come home to spend my weekend dominating in bed too.,

 

Agreed...

 

And that's what I find about a lot of us that want to be submissive in the bedroom. Outside of the bedroom, while I consider myself a "Type B-" person, others consider me a "Type A". I'm always in control, the lead, etc. In the bedroom I wanna be dominated...but not abused.

 

Funny though how in the bedroom I struggle between being submissive and being dominated.

 

Like I get off on a guy being on his knees and pleasuring me. Like me standing and he's the one giving me oral on his knees - and we all know it is usually the woman on her knees.

 

Then, if I really like the guy, I resist the orgasm when it comes, I sorta wanna push him off of me...then, I have times I wanna wrap my legs around him and hold him tight....geesh

 

I also get off on seducing guys and catching them by surprise...Turns me on if I'm more experienced then them cuz it's like I'm gonna corrupt them and break them in...get them to have that "WTF" look on their face..but, they go along with it anyways...

loveweary11 Established Member

loveweary11

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I think we'd get along. ;) I actually do that kind of stuff to the BF once in a while. It's pretty cool bc I get my laundry done etc. all the time. Here's a tip if you ever find one tho - don't just be a straight up pussy. You have to let her 'make' you do stuff and serve her. I don't mean like by force, but just forex, it's best for her to tell you to do the dishes and you obey, not you volunteer to do them. (Unless she said that's what she wanted.)

 

I'm a little surprised there are no dominant women in NY. Don't they all tend to have attitudes? You'd think they'd be bitchy/bossy too.

 

Jen, Jen, Jen... you take me for some kind of Timmay??? :lmao:

 

I'm a handful. lol

 

There's a lot more chance of a chick bailing on me for NEVER doing the dishes than volunteering. ha ha ha

 

I don't even want to obey... i want to bve forced through my unrelenting horniness to do whatever i have to do to relieve it.

 

It would be stuff i probably wouldn't do anyway. Stuff she decided she wanted me to do... that took a long time... that kind of tortured me while I wanted it so bad but had to wait until my chore was done... ;)

 

And no.., NY is loaded with submissive girls. Guys are dominant in ny. Boston is the other way around, but I'm not there much.

 

Many women in the general area of nyc were raised like 1950's chicks. They expect a super manly man to go make the money while they are at the nail salon and whatnot. Then they expect to be dominated by the guy when he gets home. They are very, very docile.

jen1447 Established Member

jen1447

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Oh I don't just mean any old woman, but if you found one who was into the kink you like. Even if she wants to beat you like a dog you have to resist a little bit. It's fun to have guys get cowed and totally give in but after a while you run out of things to do with them. Some of the most fun I've ever had has been 'flipping' presumably badass guys, haha. If you've got a weakling crawling on the floor at your feet, it's like "well it was never really a fight to begin with," but if you've got a tough guy down there it gives you a nice sense of accomplishment.

 

Hm, are you into orgasm denial straight up or are you just trying to prolong the bad treatment kink?

 

btw, no you're not a Timmay but you do look like that guy from Creed. ;)

  • Like 2
Gloria25 Established Member

Gloria25

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Oh I don't just mean any old woman, but if you found one who was into the kink you like. Even if she wants to beat you like a dog you have to resist a little bit. It's fun to have guys get cowed and totally give in but after a while you run out of things to do with them. Some of the most fun I've ever had has been 'flipping' presumably badass guys, haha. If you've got a weakling crawling on the floor at your feet, it's like "well it was never really a fight to begin with," but if you've got a tough guy down there it gives you a nice sense of accomplishment.

 

Hm, are you into orgasm denial straight up or are you just trying to prolong the bad treatment kink?

 

btw, no you're not a Timmay but you do look like that guy from Creed. ;)

 

Well, I consider an "accomplishment" in me seducing a dude...nothing like having him "wowed" like he's never been before. Also the thought of him wanting me bad but I see him when/how I want to is a turn on. Watching them squirm and not knowing what to do with the hornies they got for me. Ah, also if when they're banging other chicks, they are doing it, but thinking of me is such a weird turn on for me too...Like I'm dominating even the intimate time they have with other women...

  • Like 2
preraph Established Member

preraph

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As the alpha male in my old group used to say, "It's no fun unless they scream."

  • Like 1
Gloria25 Established Member

Gloria25

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Personally I would rather get physically shoved by a woman than to get rejected. Rejection hurts more than physical abuse. At least with physical abuse I am still getting some attention even if it is negative. There's a price to pay for getting what I want and that price is sometimes enduring some physical pain.

 

Lol...

 

You know what is funny? Sometimes with my recent crush I'll be spying on him and watching him do stuff - some stuff that I see he knows what he's doing, but I'd wanna add my input.

 

The Femenazi side of me wants to walk up to him and smack him in the back of the head - like they do on CSI and be like "look, lemme show you how"...but the "reformed" Femenazi wouldn't be so mean...:lmao:

 

But in the bedroom, I'd see myself as gentle in warming him up to break him in...but still I think I'm so intimidating that he'd be like a nervous school boy - not knowing if he's gonna get a "smack" or a "sucker" ;)

preraph Established Member

preraph

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I was never one way or the other. Whether I was dominant or submissive or aggressive or just lazy or feisty or just sweet was different from time to time and depending who I was with. Once a guy told me, "You're a lot sweeter than I thought you'd be." And I just said, "Well, stick around..."

  • Like 1
loveweary11 Established Member

loveweary11

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Oh I don't just mean any old woman, but if you found one who was into the kink you like. Even if she wants to beat you like a dog you have to resist a little bit. It's fun to have guys get cowed and totally give in but after a while you run out of things to do with them. Some of the most fun I've ever had has been 'flipping' presumably badass guys, haha. If you've got a weakling crawling on the floor at your feet, it's like "well it was never really a fight to begin with," but if you've got a tough guy down there it gives you a nice sense of accomplishment.

 

Hm, are you into orgasm denial straight up or are you just trying to prolong the bad treatment kink?

 

btw, no you're not a Timmay but you do look like that guy from Creed. ;)

 

Ha ha ha. Avatars are weird because they are so small. I don't actually look like the guy from Creed.

 

Ok, I'll admit I like a sort of teasing tantra type thing. Like flirting or teasing to to the extreme, where I'm just dying to get some attention. lol Also, i like being kept on the edge of orgasm for hours. Then, finishing, but i find the lead up to be a better feeling that finishing sometimes. And the grand finale is soooo much better when you have a long build up.

 

Basically, I'll do anything to experience these things again. A few girls in my life have been like this naturally. Tried to get my ex wife on board, but despite her physical attractiveness (5'0, 100lbs, d cups), it never really materialized.

 

Hope to meet another like this someday. They aren't in new York, really. They are in new England At least in my experience.

 

You're pretty hip to sex stuff... what's my weirdness called anyway? lol

  • Like 1
loveweary11 Established Member

loveweary11

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Well, I consider an "accomplishment" in me seducing a dude...nothing like having him "wowed" like he's never been before. Also the thought of him wanting me bad but I see him when/how I want to is a turn on. Watching them squirm and not knowing what to do with the hornies they got for me. Ah, also if when they're banging other chicks, they are doing it, but thinking of me is such a weird turn on for me too...Like I'm dominating even the intimate time they have with other women...

 

 

 

Wow!!!!! Hot!!!!!!!

  • Like 1
Woggle Established Member

Woggle

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That could never be and deep down most women don't respect a man that has no respect for himself.

  • Like 2
autumnnight Established Member

autumnnight

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It's a bit insulting that the OP assumes a dominate woman will be abusive. Even on the S&M side, it's not about abuse. I'm thinking he has no clue what D/s actually IS.

  • Like 2
Gloria25 Established Member

Gloria25

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That could never be and deep down most women don't respect a man that has no respect for himself.

 

So, a person's sexual preferences/proclivities are a measure of their self-respect?

 

Ok, and its opinions like that is why I don't do many of the things I wanna do in the bedroom...

 

I think that as long as both parties in the bedroom are ok with what's going on in there and no one is getting hurt (ie a woman being forced to do anal and/or a woman giving a guy a black eye), it's all good.

 

And, that's why I really have to trust someone in the bedroom before I let myself go...I can honestly say that's what I miss about my 6 yr guy...The more time you spend with someone, the more you can trust and do more in the bedroom. But still, no matter how much time you spend with someone, you still gotta know if they're "one of your kind"...and, you gotta sorta "fish" to see. Like one time a guy and I were fooling around and I could tell he wanted anal but he just wouldn't come out and say it...So, he was like playing around down there and I just brushed it off cuz while I'm into anal, wasn't up for it that nite.

 

So, I think we all - once we really get to know our partners - can get a feel for what they'd be down for....

 

Now, I'm not into the cuckold and would not do a 3 some with someone I see myself with seriously cuz IMO, when you introduce a 3rd party into the bedroom shared by two people, you are putting your RL at risk.

  • Like 1
Woggle Established Member

Woggle

Posted
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So, a person's sexual preferences/proclivities are a measure of their self-respect?

 

Ok, and its opinions like that is why I don't do many of the things I wanna do in the bedroom...

 

I think that as long as both parties in the bedroom are ok with what's going on in there and no one is getting hurt (ie a woman being forced to do anal and/or a woman giving a guy a black eye), it's all good.

 

And, that's why I really have to trust someone in the bedroom before I let myself go...I can honestly say that's what I miss about my 6 yr guy...The more time you spend with someone, the more you can trust and do more in the bedroom. But still, no matter how much time you spend with someone, you still gotta know if they're "one of your kind"...and, you gotta sorta "fish" to see. Like one time a guy and I were fooling around and I could tell he wanted anal but he just wouldn't come out and say it...So, he was like playing around down there and I just brushed it off cuz while I'm into anal, wasn't up for it that nite.

 

So, I think we all - once we really get to know our partners - can get a feel for what they'd be down for....

 

Now, I'm not into the cuckold and would not do a 3 some with someone I see myself with seriously cuz IMO, when you introduce a 3rd party into the bedroom shared by two people, you are putting your RL at risk.

In the bedroom it is one thing but in regular people with self respect shouldn't want to be bossed around.

loveweary11 Established Member

loveweary11

Posted
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That could never be and deep down most women don't respect a man that has no respect for himself.

 

Aren't you a former nyer? Born and bread, right?

 

That's your thinking due to where you are from. Exactly as I described in an earlier post.

 

Edit: saw your clarification. True

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