latefragment Posted April 22, 2005 Posted April 22, 2005 Does anyone else feel like it sucks to break up in the springtime when the days are bright and sunny and flowers are blooming, and everyone is coupling up? i don't know - i do a lot of outdoor activities and i enjoy doing them alone, in fact, it's like meditative time for me - but i still feel sad that i can't share the sunny outdoors with my ex. and it's sad, and it kind of sucks on sunny friday afternoons like today... and on sunny weekend afternoons ... i know, i'm being spoiled and whiny... i know i'll get through this.
beesknees Posted April 22, 2005 Posted April 22, 2005 There never is a good season for break-ups, but yeah, I feel the same way when the weather is nice outside. I think of all the things I used to do with my ex, and think it's a shame that we're not spending such a beautiful day together, but in time, things will not seem so bad, and I can enjoy the spring day a lot better off by myself. Hang in there. You're not alone.
dgiirl Posted April 22, 2005 Posted April 22, 2005 I'm actually thankful that spring is here. If my husband left me in the beginning of fall, I think I'd be in deep depression throughout the winter. I think the only thing that has kept me surviving is the nice sunny weather
loveisallaround Posted April 22, 2005 Posted April 22, 2005 I just parted ways with a boy who was the apple of my eye - and I agree, it definitely sucks. It's been a week, and it's true - it does get tons better. I'll enjoy this weather by myself, with or without him. Screw him, and screw your ex - their losses!
sweetadeline Posted April 23, 2005 Posted April 23, 2005 Breaking up in the spring means that we'll be over it and--ready for a fling--by summer. Or so I'm telling myself.
dgiirl Posted April 23, 2005 Posted April 23, 2005 besides, you get to look at nice eye candy without feeling guilty
greenhorn Posted April 23, 2005 Posted April 23, 2005 Well it sucks to breakup anytime of the year, as love has no season so is breakup. As someone pointed, things are bit better on your side when you breakup during spring time cause the depression will be more if it happens in November. It hurts anytime dude, so it will hurt but try to divert your mind (easier said than done), do things which interests you and as days will pass and with your concerted effort you will feel less pain we all have been there and know how hard it is but that's life.Face it and you will emerge stronger good luck
Fallen_Angel Posted April 23, 2005 Posted April 23, 2005 I agree with Greenhorn. This hurts terribly regardless of the season, but if it were cold & miserable & dark by 5 P.M., I'd probably never leave my bed. I can't help but allow myself to smile whenever I spend time out in the sunshine. It feels good. Now if only someone could figure out why breakups occur right before the dumper's birthday...
crazyyetsane Posted April 23, 2005 Posted April 23, 2005 I know this is probably what you don't want to hear, but it may help to think of it this way: think about how it would be if it were winter. Right now everyone is hanging out outside, they're cheerful, social, and there's a lot of fun things you could be doing. The winter, I think, is almost worse because the weather is cold, it gets dark early, and people are grumpier. Most people just want to stay in and watch a movie or hibernate. And it's times like these when most people dream of curling up in bed with their ex, a good movie, and bottle of red wine, and just cuddling. So in a way, I think the spring is easier.
BrotherAaron Posted April 23, 2005 Posted April 23, 2005 Now if only someone could figure out why breakups occur right before the dumper's birthday... Yes what is it about that? Oh well, her loss... I'm willing to bet she's going to miss me a lot more on her birthday than I'm going to miss her. I always did spoil her on special occasions. Anyway, springtime is a great time to break up, like everyone said, because you don't have to deal with winter depression. Plus, you can have a summer fling. We all love summer flings, right? Give yourself 2 months to deal, then go find yourself some gorgeous guy/girl to spend some time with.
dgiirl Posted April 24, 2005 Posted April 24, 2005 lol my ex's bday is coming up in a month too... If I'm doing the NC, should I send him a bday card?
Fallen_Angel Posted April 24, 2005 Posted April 24, 2005 My ex's b-day is in less than 2 weeks. Since ours was supposed to be an amicable split (he wants us to remain friends, and I'd like that too, but definitely not right now) I would feel weird if I didn't send him a birthday card. So I bought one. Very plain, I might add - it has a picture of cavemen on the front, apparently one is named Zoog, etc...kinda funny, definitely not in any way, shape or form sentimental. I debated over whether to write a letter and include it and have thought better of it. Yes, there are still things I'd like to say to him, but they're probably best saved for an actual conversation - or my journal! So I'm going to stick with a very brief, 3 or 4 sentence blurb, and I'm sure the words "I miss you" will make an appearance whether I plan on it or not. Grrrrr. I'm with you, Aaron. My ex always said I went overboard when it came to buying presents. Ok, so I did. Whenever I'd buy something I'd always get an idea for something else, and before I knew it I'd spent too much! Hopefully he'll miss that. So, dgiirl, my long, drawn-out point is that if you feel right sending him a card, then do so (that is, if you didn't have a nasty "I never want to see or hear from you again" type split - then I might not). After all, my birthday is also coming up in the near future, so I would be a little hurt if he didn't acknowledge it. Unfortunately to me this begs another question - why couldn't my birthday be first?!?!
greenhorn Posted April 24, 2005 Posted April 24, 2005 Well both of the situation happened to me 1.Was dumped in thick of winter when there was no sunlight even 2.Was dumped just before the dumper's birthday My suggestion don't contact your ex to send birthdaywish/text/card/any damn thing reason consider this scenario:- you have been dumped,you ex is having his/her birthday on say 1st May. Ex is celebrating birthday with friends,near ones or close friends or may be with the person for whom you were dumped.That moment your birthday wish/text/call/card/ comes...what will he/she think - Damn, that pathetic piece of **** is not leaving me still, not letting me enjoy, stalking me and few more words about you amongst his/her circle..... of course you are not there to hear this but I guarantee this is what will happen, now tell me still you want to contact your ex on birthday... if someone dumps you then it is a loss but if you get dumped by your own conscience then it is bigger loss, dignity is everything in life so preserve it, one realises the value of dignity after losing it..so trust my words.... good luck...life is difficult but you all will sail through...may God give strength...
dgiirl Posted April 24, 2005 Posted April 24, 2005 I'm really torn between both greenhorn and Fallen_Angel's advice. I've been thinking about both situations for a while. On the one hand, I do want him to know I still care about him. We were never really big on spending lots for birthdays, so I'm scared he'll take me not sending a card as more "neglect". On the other, I want to know if I ignore him, if he'd send me a birthday card a few months down the road. Plus, I really do want him to miss me, but he'll probably be spending the day with his family, and be talking to the OW who will probably spoil him more than I ever did. We didnt have a nasty split, since he just simply walked out w/ nothing to say about resolving the marriage. He would like us to remain in contact, I just simply want him back to work things out. Unfortunately, we're both too logical and realize that our lives can still be better w/o each other, and he's not the type to "woo" me back.
greenhorn Posted April 24, 2005 Posted April 24, 2005 This changes the things a bit, your is different in the sense that you still harbour the hope of getting him back. hmm lets see , ok if you send the card then it is sure that you have some expectation of the resultant behaviour so you need to think about them. You want him to send you a card on your birthday, what happens if you send him and he does not send it and what happens if he remains silent after getting your card or the OW does not allow him to even read it...of if he sees the card and calls you up and says thanks for it but nothing after. Well if you can reconcile to the above situations and your breakup is not permanent according to you then you can send a card. ' The only thing better in your breakup than others was that there was no name calling and "I hate you" stuff so atleast you can try..
dgiirl Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 aargh I just went out with a group of my friends (who were visiting from out of town). I had the time of my life (a prelude to my new life) and right now, I do not want my Ex back. lol Thanks greenhorn I'm going to bookmark this thread for future reference when I change my mind again for the 100th time. Ps, sorry for hijacking the thread
Fallen_Angel Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 I wouldn't call it a hijack! I think everyone relates to all the threads and inevitably everyone's stories tumble out. I'm so happy you had such a kick@$$ time. Maybe one of the "positives" (ha, as if there is anything positive about it!) about a springtime breakup is that you can go out dressed in new, cute spring/summery clothes and enjoy the nice weather.
dgiirl Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 Yeah definitely A group of my friends and I went out to dinner (plus roaming the city), and it's really nice to be able to see a cute guy eating alone and you can smile at him w/o guilt Even though I fantasied more out of the exchange than was reality, sometimes fantasies can help mend a broken heart After 8 years of not looking at a single guy, it's refreshing to know there's still potential. So yeah. Get dressed, go out and enjoy the weather. Smile at all the cute guys/girls that are not coupled. You'll catch the eye of one of them, and they'll smile back. Even if it's only in your head, it gives you a boost in self confidence
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