honeyluv Posted April 22, 2005 Posted April 22, 2005 im so confused and need someone to talk, my boyfriend cheated on me.. he had a female friend that i did know about, he was going out to clubs behind my back and he told me that he was bored with our relationship we were together three years. i took that as that he didnt want to be with me, i went away for the weekend and i found a condom wrapper in out apartment, he denied that there was anyone there. i moved out and a couple of days later came back to make up to find him naked with a girl. she told me she loved him and wanted to be with him. i love him and dont think i will ever stop. he wants me back now and i dont know what to do, i will never trust him the way i did. advice anyone is going back to him a bad idea
wake up Posted April 23, 2005 Posted April 23, 2005 wake up. DON'T BE AN IDIOT have some respect for yourself or no one will have respect for you. CHEATING IS NEVER JUSTIFIED.
AriaIncognito Posted April 23, 2005 Posted April 23, 2005 I would think that if he cheated once, then he's bound to do it again. You are worth having someone that will be true to you. My advice would be to not give in to his wanting you back. I personally don't have any experience with the cheating side of things, but everyone I've talked to seems to go by the addage "once a cheater, always a cheater". If for some reason you do find yourself able to forgive him and want/need to give him another chance, then I'd suggest making him try his darndest to get you back. Win you over, so to speak. Don't let him think that what he did was excuseable... Jennifer
d'Arthez Posted April 23, 2005 Posted April 23, 2005 Originally posted by honeyluv im so confused and need someone to talk, my boyfriend cheated on me.. he had a female friend that i did know about, he was going out to clubs behind my back and he told me that he was bored with our relationship we were together three years. i took that as that he didnt want to be with me, i went away for the weekend and i found a condom wrapper in out apartment, he denied that there was anyone there. i moved out and a couple of days later came back to make up to find him naked with a girl. This is not classic behavior in an attempt to deal with the drama, if there was nothing going on, during the time you were living together. The whole "bored" excuse is just an attempt he made at the time to justify his behavior and the lies. A 2-sided loving relationship is never boring. Has he ever talked to you about why he was bored? she told me she loved him and wanted to be with him. i love him and dont think i will ever stop. he wants me back now and i dont know what to do, i will never trust him the way i did. advice anyone is going back to him a bad idea Unless she was insane, which I doubt, things might have been going on a lot longer than just this one time thing. And I take it you did not exactly arrive at 3.00 AM, so he can't blame the alcohol or whatever. He royally screwed up, probably earlier during the relationship; this may be one instance of that. The best thing is probably to break off everything you had with him. If you are willing to work through things you must prepare yourself for unpleasant surprises.
CurlyIam Posted April 23, 2005 Posted April 23, 2005 He had a relationship with her. That's not a one night stand or an emotional affair. that's him coming home to you, sleeping in the same bed with you afer seeing and possibly sleeping with her. He brought her into your appartment. That says a lot about how much he treasured your relationship. Once it's broken, it'll never be the same, no matter how awesome the guy is. You're waisting time. That's the sensible me. If you trully are inlove with him and can't live without him, at least make him beg BIG time before taking him back. Something he'd most likely remember should he be tempted to go there again. I'm with you, girl!
SoleMate Posted April 24, 2005 Posted April 24, 2005 HE cheated and HE wants you back. Oh. What do you want? If you want a "boyfriend" who cheats on you right and left, then congratulations, you are already set! Some people have this kind of r/s for many years. If, however, your dreams include a man who only has eyes for you and cares so much about your feelings that he would never betray you, then, you need to keep looking. As to your feelings for him...I understand they are strong now, but just use NC and I GUARANTEE you that they will fade. As you walk away from him, he'll either turn nasty or start whining and begging to be taken back, which will make him so repellent that all will be over soon.
ltomlinson81 Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 I've been in your situation and gone back. My advice? Don't do it. You may think that some day you can forgive and forget and move on and maintain a healthy relationship, but that is nearly impossible. You will try to convince yourself that you can trust him, but you never really will. It will cast an ugly haze over your lives and you will begin to despise one another. Allow yourself to heal. Be angry with what he did to you - its not your fault. And some day, you will find a man who wouldn't dream of hurting you the way he did.
Jess xx Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 I was living with my boyf for 2 and a half years...(see 'How Far Did My Boyf Go').. he had been cheating on me for months, At first I thought something was going on a month ago..he tells me its only txting he loves me, wants me blah... so feeling how you do right now I go back..You will NEVER stop feeling suspicious and because of my suspicious feelings day by day I have discovered how serious/long the whole thing was going on.... Even though he says it is now over with the other girl& wants me..HOW DO YOU KNOW!?.. I realised I cannot do this to myself anymore....no matter how much they tell you they love you& will never do it again THEY WILL, I think deep down my boyf just thought I would forgive him everytime and he could get away with it. Think about it....I feel really horrible right now and won't get through it but as this forum shows people do recover and it is SO hard but NC is essential.
ltomlinson81 Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 Agreed. I lived with my ex-boyfriend of 4 years when he cheated on me. I packed my stuff up and our dog and moved out. I went back to him for 4 months and realized that things could never be the same because YOU NEVER KNOW. I have ended it and now we have had no contact for over a month and the only thing that is hard any more is missing him as a part of my life. Otheriwse, I know leaving him was best - for both of us. Don't let him walk on you. If you have the slightest bit of doubt, just keep away. Who knows, maybe one day you really will forgive him. But allow yourself to find that out naturally, without him around.
UCFKevin Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 He cheats on you once. He's a bastard. He cheats on you twice. You're an idiot. Don't be an idiot.
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