avoidinglove1 Posted May 15, 2015 Posted May 15, 2015 (edited) I have never told anyone what happened in my last relationship this lasted 10 months, I am well over it but I am very very very cautious of even looking for a new relationship at all due to the rough time I felt I went through with this one.. To start at the beginning, I’ll give a background on myself,I have a hobby which is racing which involves ahead of time (16 hours a week +)after work preparing cars. Around the start of this relationship I had started a new project racing in a different series and was building a car to compete,the car was a slow prosses and takes up a lot of money I also raced in a local championship at the time in a rental formula, I meet this girl. Lost contact with her over the years then with Her farther used to race in a similar series but with cars involving less prep time, she had raced in certain series as well, our life’s crossed paths again, we went out a few times she was unbelievably forward I’d come out of a short relationship as had she. After the second or third date I went on a pre-planned holiday to aboard racing, I was gone 5 days we spoke most nights before I went out for food and drinks with my friends,when I got back she told me we were not going to go anywhere and she was ending the relationship. We carried on talking and a month or so later starting seeing each other again. This progressed quite quickly in a few weeks. This few weeks later I remember her taking my phone, not a problem I have nothing to hide, but she went through every single file/folder looking for porn or pictures of other girls at the time I didn’t think much of this. Then week or so after this she borrowed my laptop. Now I don’t particularly use my laptop at all even now I had it to do my college work on, I had however been chatting a girl who was a family friend who had sent me pictures (holiday snaps) nothing outrageous tome, and these where on my laptop she saw these photos and without telling me deleted them all. She then went a bit off with me, for a week until finally I had got out of her what was going on to which she said “do you not know what’s missing from your laptop” I went on my laptop at this point went through files and folders and couldn’t see anything missing but the pictures didn’t cross my mind cause I hadn’t kept them for any particular reason. She then proceeded to show me my recycle bin and cry and say “who is she” so I explained who this girl was who was a family friend. She told me I was lying and did I fancy her to which I said no, I brushed this off and went calmed her down and didn’t think much of it. A week later I had a 21st birthday party to attend which me a two friends had been invite to on the same invite, having now still being unofficially going out with this girl and her not knowing anyone that was going I didn’t seen the issue with not taking her. I went to the partly with my two friends (the party was 100 miles from home) and stopped at my friend’s house down the road from the party. On the way home the next day she text me and asked who was at the party, I reeled off a few names, she replyed who was this particular name I mentioned a girl, who I’d been friends with a while (I have made a lot of friends through racing) I explained whos team she came with ect, to get a reply “is she pretty” I replyed to this saying “I suppose so but I haven’t really looked at her in that way” which I got ignored until later that day when I picked my GF up to go to a race meet. We went to the meeting, me being me thought If I introduced her to all my friends on this common ground she would understand who people were ect. Firstly met one of my sponsors puts a lot of money into me couldn’t race without his help, she didn’t like him cause he looked at her funny and was weird, then walked passed said girl we had mentioned before, so I stopped and introduced them to each other. This ment I didn’t get spoken to for the rest of the night. Next day she woke me up early in the morning to tell me how little I’d made her feel “flirting in front of her with this girl” then proceeded to tell me not to talk to her again. Also that one of my best friends (who is a girl) hugged me in front of her, this was unacceptable, the off season come went to a few partys but I found myself not socialising due to not wanting to upset her, at a get together my dad had put together, which her parents were at as well she followed me round the pub and was stood holding my hand while I was talking in group of lads where some joke reference got made to a strip club and prevous visits a few years ago go mentioned this again ment I didn’t get spoken to the n got the full two barrels and how seedy and horrible the places where and how discussing I was for going, I explained I was 18 wanted to try it decided it was a total waste of money the new since, she refered that I thought about the strippers when making love because she wasn’t good enough, then I went to see a musical in Birmingham with my best friend from school and his dad we had brought tickets 12 months before as they sold out that fast she asked me if she could come I said no there was no real way of getting tickets 2 weeks before this did not go down well the night I was away we stayed out in a hotel she messaged me a told me that her ex was texting her and saying some pretty disturbed thing which made me angry she wanted me to come home to “hold her and make her feel safe” I told her to save the messages so I could read them myself and I would see her the next day, then next day I asked to see these messages and she said she had “deleted them” now I switched my phone off before the show so didn’t talk to her for 3hours so I come out of the theatre to load of texts asking what was going on got home and she was off with me for not taking to her back to racing - started I missed the meetings to get my car finished but she kept telling me I was spending too much time working on it.. which I could understand from a normal girl but she was meant to have grown up doing what I do and spent the time before we started going out telling me how understanding she would be of the time we were spending, we went to a local meet after it had finished to meet some of my friends for a drink, the girl from the holiday snaps was there came and spoke to me this meant again I was not spoken to until the early hours of the next day for another “do you know how little that made me feel speech” now two months into the new season the sport I supported and went to every week and I hadn’t been to a single meeting that year, I was still spending time doing the car and missing the meetings to take her out and keep her happy. After this meeting she asked me some questions about an old flame of mine who she knew, I had made good friends with my ex we just didn’t suit being together in that way. This ex now as in the navy and I hadn’t seen her in 12 months or more, I got a text off my GF saying that this ex had text her saying I was messaging her asking when she was on leave and could we meet up and “do stuff” obviously I hadn’t done this so I said keep the messages or screen shot them to me and I will message her and tell her where to go. The reply was “I’ve already deleted them” which made me suspicious Then she decided she wanted to attend the racing weekender it was a party weekend where we watched racing for two days and had a laugh this is where the things got worse all I have talked about so far push other times this stuff has happened which and I ended up in the same situation and being told what a loser I was and how I should make her feel more special and spend more time with her and how I was told she couldn’t forgive me for going to strip clubs or going to the party on my own at the start of the relationship because i obviously didn’t want her there cause I wanted to see another girl she was telling me I wanted to go back to my ex and in other argument that I was going to go off with a friend of mines girlfriend! I decided that was enough for one relationship and upset I went to her house to end it, got there dad met me and the door took me in the garage and had a man to man convo and convinced me not to do it, I then went home and we she came over mine, this ended in me being the bad guy for wanting to break up and me having to make it up to her this is where the hard bit started. We went to the weekender racing. Got there Friday night as soon as we arrived phone call, her dad had had a stroke and was being rushed into hospital, we rushed back, I was there all night with her spent the next month going straight over from work seeing her still trying to get my car finished and get just be there for her and her mother, but all the above problems we had now got worse, I’d spend the first half of this relationship going straight to her house from work then going to my yard working on my car and going home I was now doing between 8-12 hours at work 2 hours with her 3 hours on my car and another hour with her. This was wearing, due to the arguments I ended up making a new facebook page as she would sit and go back on my wall years to pick up on who is this girl and who is that girl and she would quote convos I had five years ago the same racing hoiday from the year before came round but I couldn’t get the time off work so couldn’t go,she told me she wanted to go I explained work wouldn’t give me the time off she was not happy “why cant to bunk off Ill” “do you not want me to go cause I’ll see all your women you were shagging last year” still having the same arguments no one would tell me what was really wrong with her farther and she eventually had to get rid of her race car due to him being Ill she wouldn’t talk to me at this time as it she didn’t want to sell it but her dad was making her, I was a bit annoyed at this telling her she should be grateful for her dads health that a car, eventually I got my car finished, she wanted to stay with her dad and didn’t want me to race but I needed the escape and told her I wasn’t not racing we eventually started going I started doing well and won a big race in front of all my friends everyone was happy for me accept my girlfriend, girls were hugging me and everyone wanted to come and say well done this was not acceptable by her, I was not spoken to for the rest of the weekend this was a bank holiday we went out for a meal with my family to celebrate Sunday night but I was not spoken to by her, eventally I’d had enough she rang me 16 times between 6.30am and 8.30am the next day I went over her house and told her it was over she went off in her car driving round the village like and idiot I rang her parents and explained what happened then got blamed for ruining their day out she battered my car chased me off her drive,spent the next 12 months bad mouthing me on facebook and twitter and messaging me telling me I was talking about her to everyone and I should get over it and persistently messaging me telling me this… So now I’m a good two years passed this but I have never told anyone this story to get an opinion, I am wear she has had 4 boyfriends in the that time and also aware she was seeing someone else up to the day we officially started going out. I am now very sceptical about even talking to woman as this situation got me very down and not liking myself with the way she spoke to me I’ve never been confident with women but I could bite my tongue and talk to them now I’m afraid of finding another like her and losing more of my life arguing and not doing things to please someone else Sorry for the poor spelling and that but there is my story comments will be appreciated whichever side you’re on, I like criticism I find it the best way to learn! Edited May 15, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator added much need paragraphs and word spacing, please use them in the future
SLee Posted May 15, 2015 Posted May 15, 2015 That's a ride of a story. You're two years passed it though. I understand you're hurting and all, but not trusting women isn't the answer. There are plenty of mature women who don't get so irrationally jealous like your ex. Try to meet other women who you perceive as non-jealous adults.
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