ksh Posted May 15, 2015 Posted May 15, 2015 Some girl working in a bar was interesting to talk with and since i need my morning coffee i was chatting with her almost every working day. I didnt have any love related to intentions with her but after a while i figured out she is really a great person and somehow got crush on her. I know she likes my company as she is behaving quite differently to me then to all other guests, and our debates gets quite personal, actually it came to the point when the staff started to tease us. At some point I have asked her out and she accepted but the date didnt happen as she got ill (over the weekend, i just cant hammer out if it was an excuse to avoid it or not), and on our monday chat i asked her if i should try inviting her again or i should be worried about her health, imho offering her a simple way out. She answered i should, but also mentioned she is quite busy for a few weeks (and i know she actually is, i never met anyone working as hard as she does, 3 jobs, hard exam in two weeks,...). Now I am kind a cofused, should i actually continue to bother with her, i dont have problem with waiting but on the other side, if i would like someone, i would find time... but this is just me. On the other hand, she could just be avoiding it but doesnt want to spoil the frendship or something... Any advice?
bolase Posted May 15, 2015 Posted May 15, 2015 Yes... She knows that you asked her on a date, right, and she turned it down (for any reason - it doesnt matter). If she really wanted to go on a date and couldn't, she would make an effort to reschedule. You might be making her uncomfortable by the sound of it. If, after a few weeks, she reminds you of that conversation or asks you out or mentions it in any way, great. But if she doesn't, let it alone because she obviously isnt keen. As a rule, don't ask people out at their workplace - really uncomfortable for her! If she doesnt fancy you and is straightforward about it, then she could lose her workplace a patron. That's why it's not fair.
Author ksh Posted May 15, 2015 Author Posted May 15, 2015 Look, this didnt start as a hitting on a girl and there was a few months in between before i even started to look on her differently. Since she is taking a breaks for some chatting with me, she is not annoyed by it, we also dont have a "tip system" so she is not stimulated by tip and no, she wouldnt loose workplace or be annoyed by my presence here, actually if this would be the case, i stop going there. I am more worried that i am in a friend zone...
luno Posted May 15, 2015 Posted May 15, 2015 Some girl working in a bar was interesting to talk with and since i need my morning coffee i was chatting with her almost every working day. I didnt have any love related to intentions with her but after a while i figured out she is really a great person and somehow got crush on her. I know she likes my company as she is behaving quite differently to me then to all other guests, and our debates gets quite personal, actually it came to the point when the staff started to tease us. At some point I have asked her out and she accepted but the date didnt happen as she got ill (over the weekend, i just cant hammer out if it was an excuse to avoid it or not), and on our monday chat i asked her if i should try inviting her again or i should be worried about her health, imho offering her a simple way out. She answered i should, but also mentioned she is quite busy for a few weeks (and i know she actually is, i never met anyone working as hard as she does, 3 jobs, hard exam in two weeks,...). Now I am kind a cofused, should i actually continue to bother with her, i dont have problem with waiting but on the other side, if i would like someone, i would find time... but this is just me. On the other hand, she could just be avoiding it but doesnt want to spoil the frendship or something... Any advice? I think its a good idea to keep communication open with her but maybe not bring it up for a couple/few weeks. See if she's still the same and you're still getting the vibe then, in a bit of time remind her if she's still interested that the offer is there to go out. Then I think that's all you can do. I think it's flattering for her and brave of you to ask her out at work. Don't get put off by it if it doesn't go your way this time. Good Luck!
d0nnivain Posted May 15, 2015 Posted May 15, 2015 Anybody who has 3 jobs while going to school is busy. If you can wait great. If you can't that is your choice but to suggest that she is a avoiding you is unreasonable. She doesn't have time to play games.
Author ksh Posted May 15, 2015 Author Posted May 15, 2015 Anybody who has 3 jobs while going to school is busy. If you can wait great. If you can't that is your choice but to suggest that she is a avoiding you is unreasonable. She doesn't have time to play games. Well... as i said, i have a crush on her... i dont have problem waiting, but if this is unidirectional, i just want to stop this, as soon as possible.
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