biggles6087 Posted May 15, 2015 Posted May 15, 2015 So first day of been alone after going out without someone for two months but we spoke for about 7 months before that after been friends first.It was a long distance relationship.My phone as gone quite after nearly texting and chatting everyday i even woke up this morning expecting I love you message but wasn't there. I'm going to find it tough cause after a long thinking about the girl in question last night I really did fall in love she just didn't feel the same I'm constantly checking my phone how do i cope or get through this one. Has anyone felt like this?
SLee Posted May 15, 2015 Posted May 15, 2015 A lot of people feel this way. You're definitely not alone. Everyone has their own healing process and timeline. The best thing you can do is to do things to actively improve your life right now. Focus on work/school, dive into a new book, pick up a hobby, pursue any interest of yours, take a class (cooking, dancing, martial arts, whatever floats your boat), join a new club or intramural sports team in your community. For me, meaning my personal coping mechanisms, going out with my friends and being with family is the biggest thing. Venting to them, being out where other people are in general is great because it helps me remember that there is a world outside of my ex. If you can find an activity that is both energy/time consuming and also social that's ideal, at least for me. I was in the middle of doing a play (I do a lot of theatre work) and it's an exhausting, very time consuming activity. So I poured all my time and energy into that and was so exhausted that I didn't even have time to think about my ex. It's also social, so I was doing it with a big group of people all working for the same goal. That's why community classes, theatre/arts, and local sports are great. The BIGGEST thing is to take care of your physical health. I ignored my health after my break up and barely ate or drank water for like 2 months, just because food made me nauseous and I couldn't hold it down, even though I tried. I lost like 20 pounds (I was small to begin with) and looked so sickly and gaunt. It also directly hurt my sleeping, concentration, energy, and mental health. So make sure you're taking care of your body. Exercise when you can and make sure to eat and stay hydrated. Not doing so will make everything else so much worse.
TrevorDia Posted May 15, 2015 Posted May 15, 2015 Oh man, I know this situation only too well. Me and my ex had known each other for years, she was a Spanish exchange student at the time, but then she had to go home, she came back for a while and we started a relationship, then it became long-distance and eventually some cheating took place (I didn't even break up with her at that point) and then when eventually we got into a big argument and broke up, we decided to stay friends. But even as friends it was just like we were when we were in a relationship, we even said I love you every day. But 25 days ago I'd had enough, she was sleeping around with loads of guys and it crushed me knowing that someone I loved so much was letting herself be used like that. The life I was trying for was gone. But the hardest thing was using my phone afterwards. See, we used to talk almost all day every day. Then after I decided to go NC and deleted her from my phone, suddenly I found myself constantly checking my phone out of habit, and realising she wasn't there sending me messages. I'm not going to lie, 25 days into No Contact, and it still sucks being without her. A part of me keeps hoping that I'll look at my phone, see a message from her, and I can tell her to go to hell - but she doesn't care that we're no longer friends. These past few days I started texting with another girl, but somehow that makes it hurt more, knowing it's not my ex. Sounds weird, right? I know - but hey, I can't help how I feel
Author biggles6087 Posted May 15, 2015 Author Posted May 15, 2015 Thanks guys trying to keep busy and not think of her to much but fairly tough going at the moment and Im knackerd tired.
Author biggles6087 Posted May 15, 2015 Author Posted May 15, 2015 Tomorrow is going to be tough cause it's my birthday she was suppose to be down for the weekend . Altho I'm not expecting what will I do if she decides to wish me a Happy Birthday?
SLee Posted May 15, 2015 Posted May 15, 2015 Tomorrow is going to be tough cause it's my birthday she was suppose to be down for the weekend . Altho I'm not expecting what will I do if she decides to wish me a Happy Birthday? Happy birthday to you! If she does, I would ignore it. You could maybe be okay just saying a simple "thank you", literally just those two words, but that could invite more conversation that you don't need. It's your call if she does it. Try to enjoy your birthday with family and friends instead.
Author biggles6087 Posted May 15, 2015 Author Posted May 15, 2015 Happy birthday to you! If she does, I would ignore it. You could maybe be okay just saying a simple "thank you", literally just those two words, but that could invite more conversation that you don't need. It's your call if she does it. Try to enjoy your birthday with family and friends instead. Thank you I meeting with my friends tomorrow heading out for the day think i leave my phone at home.
SLee Posted May 15, 2015 Posted May 15, 2015 Leaving your phone at home isn't a bad idea so long as you can feel safe going out and about without it. It may be the best option so you're not constantly checking it or something. But also don't like come home expecting anything on your phone either. Whichever is best for you. Just focus on enjoying your birthday!
Author biggles6087 Posted May 16, 2015 Author Posted May 16, 2015 Leaving your phone at home isn't a bad idea so long as you can feel safe going out and about without it. It may be the best option so you're not constantly checking it or something. But also don't like come home expecting anything on your phone either. Whichever is best for you. Just focus on enjoying your birthday! Thank you woke up this morning god i miss her so much now must admit had a little cry I'm really going to find it tough today on the no contact I just hope I don't fall apart later.
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