wildpillow Posted May 15, 2015 Posted May 15, 2015 This is kind of an odd situation that I have never been in. I'm 25 years old and dating a girl that is 20. We work at the same place and I asked her out on a date, as it goes things went well and we have continued to hang out a lot, almost everyday, she stays the night from time to time, we have sex, she constantly tells me how happy i make her and how much she loves spending time with me, but sometimes she is super flaky about things. She suggested the other night that she wanted to stay the night at my place.... she comes over, hangs out for a bit, then around 10 o clock says she is going to go home (this has happened a few times). In my mind I'm thinking, well wasn't it your idea to stay the night? Didnt express my annoyance. She was over the night and suggested that her and I go to breakfast in the morning and that she would text me when she gets up to let me know what time. i send her a good morning text, she replies with good morning babe! Couple hours go by, i ask did you still want to get food? Doesn't respond for a couple hours and says she fell back asleep. we end up not going to breakfast. am i making something of nothing? i am just honestly the type of person that if i say I'm going to do something i do it.
umirano Posted May 15, 2015 Posted May 15, 2015 She's not really a flake when she decides to go back home. Maybe she doesn't feel welcome or she feels she's being overbearing. I'm with you when it comes to the breakfast issue. My ex who was 20 was equally non-committal. it was so bad that I stopped taking her seriously on almost anything she said. I basically lost trust in her. It happened because I let her. Because I didn't have a life. So you need to be more firm with her. Don't be a doormat. If she flakes on you the next time you let her know that you don't appreciate being disrespected. Then don't ask her out. Wait for her to come to you. It'll help to be busy with something in case she can't get herself to ask you out. Get a life outside of your relationship with her.
El Pallasso Posted May 15, 2015 Posted May 15, 2015 You should be happy. A woman that has sex and kicks herself out. Trust me, you don't want to be spending more than a minute outside of sex with these broads. Be nonchalant about it and enjoy your day. Let her do all the reaching out and leave the worrying to her. If you start showing neediness or weakness, she will take advantage of you. However, don't bend over for her. If you guys make an appointment and she flakes, don't try to accommodate her by doing whatever you're doing when she tried to set something up again.
Author wildpillow Posted May 15, 2015 Author Posted May 15, 2015 The tough thing is, I really like this girl. I've been single now for a few years. She seems to really be into me as well.
umirano Posted May 15, 2015 Posted May 15, 2015 The tough thing is, I really like this girl. I've been single now for a few years. She seems to really be into me as well. The keyword is 'seems' As soon as she realizes how smitten you are, she'll (subconsciously) try to take advantage of it. Dial back the lovey-dovey stuff and make sure she understands you're not her lap dog. If it didn't already happen she will lose respect for you, and you couldn't blame anyone but yourself.
El Pallasso Posted May 15, 2015 Posted May 15, 2015 The keyword is 'seems' As soon as she realizes how smitten you are, she'll (subconsciously) try to take advantage of it. Dial back the lovey-dovey stuff and make sure she understands you're not her lap dog. If it didn't already happen she will lose respect for you, and you couldn't blame anyone but yourself. Yup. The moment you show her you're smitten, she will take you for a complete ride. Don't be a fool.
Author wildpillow Posted May 15, 2015 Author Posted May 15, 2015 The thing is, she's almost more lovey dovey than me, constantly telling me she misses me and how much she loves spending time with me.
2011 Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 Action speaks louder than words. Yip - watch what she says and then what she actually does
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