Do you think where you live affects your dating life/finding someone?

[Bobbi7]

Maybe I'm too picky or maybe its the city where I live at (the midwest) that doesn't attract me to any guys or guys aren't attracted to me. I guess its the lifestyle-conservative types that I don't like? Do people have to move out of state to find different types of people to find that life long partner?

[carhill]

Looking around, plenty of folks, a clear majority, find sexual and/or romantic partners so, statistically, where one lives doesn't seem to be reflected in the results. However, if one is out of sorts socially where one lives it can affect their opportunities and environment for finding compatible sexual and romantic partners.

 

Where I've historically lived, relatively rural, young people often leave the local area to go to school or to find non-rural jobs and sometimes remain gone, finding partners in their new locales. People who remain like rural life and integrate into its social milieu. In general, this should be a non-issue. However, if one is outlier to the particular social integration, it can present obstacles to finding compatible partners, exacerbated by a comparatively small population.

 

To put some numbers to it, though I don't use OLD or date anymore, I'll occasionally run the numbers on Match in a ten mile radius in all age ranges and usually come up with less than 20 women. That's a pretty thin dating pool, exceedingly thin for a guy my age since maybe 4 or 5 are in the 50's-up. However, OLD is not a customary way for rural people to meet, rather through church and community activities and friends and family so, if one doesn't seek out that path, meaning being outlier to it, then pickins are slim, affecting dating life markedly.

 

IMO, the more numbers of potentials, the better and the more compatible one is with their dating social environment, the better.

[No Limit]

Of course chances are higher if you live somewhere where more people live. In my hometown there are no dating prospects at all. Nonetheless people there aren't afraid of communication; in my faaar bigger college city even the boys in class were barely able to open their mouths, and it's far worse on the street. You get looks, and that's it. Online dating has taken over for my generation I guess.

[amaysngrace]

Move someplace more populated. Can you put in for a transfer?

 

And there's no such thing as being "too picky" when it comes to selecting lifelong partners.

[preraph]

You have to find your niche, wherever that is. I was a lot more popular after I moved from a medium sized spreadout city to a big city because there were more people there similar to me in my interests.

[Gloria25]

I hate where I live...

 

I can't stand the accents of the people here...such a turn off.

 

And yeah, since I pretty much date Caucasian, not many willing to date anything besides their kind. One of my relatives, when we go to visit them, I'm amazed at all the interracial couples we see trotting around like it's the norm.

 

I hate this fing backwards state and the people in it...regardless of race.

[JunzQ]

Maybe I'm too picky or maybe its the city where I live at (the midwest) that doesn't attract me to any guys or guys aren't attracted to me. I guess its the lifestyle-conservative types that I don't like? Do people have to move out of state to find different types of people to find that life long partner?

 

 

I moved from a city of 5 million where I always had girls... always in a relationship. End one start up another a week later. I moved to a city of 186 thousand and found my self single for 5 years that's exactly as long as I've lived in this little city. I finally found 1 and we dated for 4 months before breaking up and I don't have much interest on persuing much anymore because I know I have to settle rather than go for what I truly want.

 

So in conclusions YES where you lives has a huge impact on dating ! HUGE!!

[Bobbi7]

I hate where I live...

 

I can't stand the accents of the people here...such a turn off.

 

And yeah, since I pretty much date Caucasian, not many willing to date anything besides their kind. One of my relatives, when we go to visit them, I'm amazed at all the interracial couples we see trotting around like it's the norm.

 

I hate this fing backwards state and the people in it...regardless of race.

 

Do you live in a rural area? And where do you see interracial couples? I'm guessing the east or west coast? Just curious...

[d0nnivain]

In the suburbs it's a bit more of an effort. Friends who live in big cities: NYC, Boston, & Philly just seemed to have easier access to larger numbers of people.

 

I was willing to expand my comfort zone & viola I found DH.

[cocorico]

I think where you live has a huge impact. Growing up in the polite suburbs I really struggled to find anyone I could relate to in any way beyond the more superficial - and then I went to university in a different city, with a different culture, where they spoke a different language, and found some really good friends and some people I could stand more than a ONS with. After that I just kept moving, meeting some great people along the way.

 

If you're not happy with the pool of potentials around you, move elsewhere.

[hotpotato]

I think where you live makes a huge difference! I live in a rural-ish area. People get married early, oftentimes right out of high school. Plus, it's very religious as compared to the rest of the US. Most of the dudes I would be attracted to are taken.

[RoseVille]

I live in a large west coast city known for hippie types. They're unfortunately not my type. It limits who I find attractive by... well, a ton.

[Gloria25]

I live in a large west coast city known for hippie types. They're unfortunately not my type. It limits who I find attractive by... well, a ton.

 

Oh gosh, hippies types? Well, I guess we all have our types of "just sucks" areas to live in.

[ascendotum]

You have to find your niche, wherever that is. I was a lot more popular after I moved from a medium sized spreadout city to a big city because there were more people there similar to me in my interests.

 

I think it does make a difference. The population and the type of people who live there, but it depends too on how picky you are and how much you differ from the norm too. I hate the thought that we need to build bigger cities so we all need to live in a mega metropolis to find love. How different you are from the locals too will depend also on how attractive you are. I really would have a hard time believing that if an edgy alt scene woman who looked like say Kat Von D (tattooist) moved to say minneapolis or calgary that she would have a hard time finding anyone who wanted to date her. If she wanted to date/sleep with a swag of guys that looked like David McIntosh (model, tv) and who also had 'cool' careers & lifestyles, well then she would have a harder time.

 

For the guy here who moved from 5m to a 186k city then for sure he would notice the difference. Less options but also much less competition,but then the locals would also be inclined to not try so hard to impress too. If all the local woman were inclined to get pregnant or married young and he was say 30 when he moved there and he was not interested in dating anyone with kids then the local demographic would definitely have a negative distortion. If he grew up there and fit in with the local population then chances are he would have had gfs and been married by now and he would be fine.

 

A city like NY or LA has a lot more single people but then there are still a lot of people complaining those places still suck, with people being more shallow, sleeping around more and on the lookout for the bigger better deal with so many more options.

Edited May 17, 2015 by ascendotum

[ColdandLonelyinAK]

I live in Alaska, where there's 4 men to every 1 woman, so I usually don't have too hard of a time finding a date. This is also a military town, so there's always soldiers and airmen looking for wives/girlfriends. It can make dating HARDER at times, because sometimes they pursue you in the hopes of a contract marriage. I had a guy I had only met once try to get me to marry him once because he was being deployed and wanted separation pay.