UntitledNotepad Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 (edited) So this girl and I went on a first date. It was great. She was interested, conversation flowed naturally, etc. We both got busy with finals, and now she left home for the summer. She agreed to a second date, but we couldn't find a specific time and date that worked for us, so she asked if we could do the second date when she gets back for the summer (3 months). ... ... ...? the ****? (1) do we still have a "thing"? do I still have a shot at a relationship with her? (2) what level of contact should I keep during the summer? i texted her when she got home, and she did reply, but it took a little over a day (3) over text, she very explicity agreed to a second date multiple time. (i posted on these forums before, but even since then she agreed to a second) (4) also, I said "it will be better than the first date!" to which she replied "no the first wasnt bad at all". also this girl is very different from the rest (which is why i like her)...she's very genuine, sincere, kind, intelligent, studious, etc. so I doubt she is just playing games or ****ing around with me (5) i don't want to over-text her, appear desperate, and ruin everything....at the same time, i don't want to text her after three months of no contact and be like "oh hey! its me! remember? want a date still?" the whole thing is just driving me crazy...haha so thanks for any input! Edited May 14, 2015 by UntitledNotepad
todreaminblue Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 3 months is a long time between dates....so i wouldnt put your life on hold .........you said she seems sincere and honest ....so if she is sincere and honest she will remember that she plans on having a date with you.....so it wont be awkward .give her a couple of days or a week to settle in.....then call her......just say welcome back so what did you get up to over the summer.....lead her into a conversation and then ask for your date if she doesnt ask already.....good luck....deb
Author UntitledNotepad Posted May 15, 2015 Author Posted May 15, 2015 maybe i should text her in a few weeks and say "so how's summer?" 1
La.Primavera Posted May 15, 2015 Posted May 15, 2015 If your previous threads have been about the same girl she messed you around when you tried to make a second date and took ages to even reply to you. Many of the responses from the other thread suggested you should move on because she didn't seem that interested. Now you have decided you want to transfer to her university. I would think long and hard about that plan. You aren't going to stop pursuing her so she is going to find out about it, and it might make her feel very uncomfortable. Perhaps she takes longer to become invested in someone but it is clear that you care more than she does right now and it is possibly clouding your better judgement. I know you really like her but don't let those feelings overrule your common sense. Just take it slowly. 1
d0nnivain Posted May 15, 2015 Posted May 15, 2015 You aren't anything except 2 people who went on 1 date. You owe her nothing. You can try to keep in touch over the summer but I'd let her set the pace. You can also try to meet once or twice but do not think you are dating her. Go out & have fun. When school starts up in the fall, look her up but keep it very low key all summer. She is not interested in some virtual relationship until you are back on campus.
Author UntitledNotepad Posted May 15, 2015 Author Posted May 15, 2015 Ok, here's my plan: (1) I won't initiate any conversations with her over the summer. (2) I'll postpone transferring until a semester after she gets back. That way, either we will definitely be in a relationship or definitely not be in a relationship, so either way it won't be weird if I transfer. I just have a question about her being interested - during the first date she seemed really interested. She agreed to everything I suggested we should do (not just another date, but other things), and she even suggested a few things we could do together (she said she registered for a class that I took already, and she suggested I help her). After the first date though, she never initiated any conversations, and although she took a while, she did reply. I gave her a lot of opportunities to stop the "relationship", but she never took any of those. I hinted that the second date would be better than the first, and she said that the first date wasn't bad at all. So...? And we did know eachother for a while, so it's not like we are just two random people going on a date.... i don't know... anyways is my plan good?
preraph Posted May 15, 2015 Posted May 15, 2015 Text her about once a month and just keep it light, nothing about dating. "Just wanted to say hi and see how your summer is going. I just got back from the pool."
d0nnivain Posted May 15, 2015 Posted May 15, 2015 It's a terrible plan. If you intended to transfer because that would be a better life choice for you, you need to stick to that plan Your education is about your whole life & your future. She is basically some stranger you went on a single date with. Do not give her any power over your life. especially because she may fall in love over the summer or forget about you. Do reach out & try to get together once over the summer. It should show you whether there is anything worth perusing or not. Unless you are married or engaged, never make life decisions based on another person. 1
lemoncello Posted May 15, 2015 Posted May 15, 2015 It's a terrible plan. If you intended to transfer because that would be a better life choice for you, you need to stick to that plan Your education is about your whole life & your future. She is basically some stranger you went on a single date with. Do not give her any power over your life. especially because she may fall in love over the summer or forget about you. Do reach out & try to get together once over the summer. It should show you whether there is anything worth perusing or not. Unless you are married or engaged, never make life decisions based on another person. I agree with d0nnivain. Why are you transferring universities just to be closer in proximity to this young woman? That borders on unhealthy obsession. You only went on one date with her. She is not your girlfriend. She is not interested in you romantically either. The fact that she asked you to wait until the fall semester to go hang out again, means she only views you as a platonic friend. Never plan your entire life and future around one person. Plan your life and future out for yourself and only for yourself. The people who come into your life should compliment it, and add to the quality of your life, not be the 100% center of it because that would be an unbalanced life.
Author UntitledNotepad Posted May 16, 2015 Author Posted May 16, 2015 >She is not interested in you romantically either. We went on a date, so that actually does constitute romantic interest. And who the **** are you to tell me that? You weren't on our first date. >The fact that she asked you to wait until the fall semester to go hang out again, means she only views you as a platonic friend. No, it is impossible to see her during the summer semester, that doesn't mean our relationship is only platonic. On the contrary, she said that we should go on a second date when she gets back. And the idea of transferring, as I said, is separate from our relationship. It's a better college which is affordable. That's the end of it. I'm not compulsively obsessed. You people on this forum are hilariously pessimistic.
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