Thermals Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 Suppose you've gone on a couple of dates and have been intimate with someone. Would you ask them to be brutally honest with you after that about certain things or would you appreciate a white lie if it meant sparing your feelings? And how would you feel if the other person pressured you to be more direct and open with him/her? Would you welcome the rare and refreshing approach or would you feel unnecessarily pressured and stick to your white lie?
SearchingForMyself Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 Suppose you've gone on a couple of dates and have been intimate with someone. Would you ask them to be brutally honest with you after that about certain things or would you appreciate a white lie if it meant sparing your feelings? And how would you feel if the other person pressured you to be more direct and open with him/her? Would you welcome the rare and refreshing approach or would you feel unnecessarily pressured and stick to your white lie? I'm not really sure what exactly you're talking about but since sex was involved, you're probably not really into the person. The answer, from a moral standpoint is of course honesty, but dating is practical, and the answers you might get will probably differ greatly depending on gender. When a woman lets a man down, she usually tells a white lie(usually, not always) to spare feelings because she doesnt want to be verbally attacked or fears possibly being assaulted. Men will do so as well, in order to keep a woman(again, not all) as an option. Truth is, while honesty is the best policy, people will tell a white lien to save their own butts.
central Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 I prefer tactful honesty, if the tact does not obscure the message. 5
cessna Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 The problem is telling a white lie or ignoring to save the other persons feelings is much more hurtful. It gives false hope to the one being let down gently and that's not fair. I'd rather have the blunt, honest truth every time without fail. I don't think people tell white lies to spare the other persons feelings at all anyway. They do it because they are too cowardly to be honest. Simple as that. 3
almond Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 Generally, if something has the power to hurt someone, it is somewhat important to them. All the more reason to tell the truth in my opinion. You're not sparing the feelings of the other person by lying to them...you're sparing yourself from feeling bad about it. Honesty is the best policy 99% of the time. 2
cessna Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 Generally, if something has the power to hurt someone, it is somewhat important to them. All the more reason to tell the truth in my opinion. You're not sparing the feelings of the other person by lying to them...you're sparing yourself from feeling bad about it. Honesty is the best policy 99% of the time. Could not agree with that any more. Absolutely spot on. It's the same with a partner being sorry for cheating. They're not sorry they hurt their partners feelings, they're sorry they got caught.
deadelvis Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 ok what about "do you ever wish my cock was bigger" "do you think she's prettier than me" "do you think I'm fat" "was he better than me in bed"
d0nnivain Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 Tact is always best. You answer honestly but in the nicest way possible. Changing the subject is also an option. As for the loaded Qs below, be very wary of a person who asks those things. The person asking Qs like those is immature or they would have enough sense not to ask. My tactful answers appear in bold. "do you ever wish my cock was bigger" You are an amazing lover. You satisfy me & I'm very happy. Do you wish you were bigger? If you were huge you wouldn't fit me so well & I'd probably break up with you because sex would be too painful. "do you think she's prettier than me" You are gorgeous. (remember you are looking at the person who asked you this with your heart not just your eyes) "do you think I'm fat" You are not fat but if you are unhappy with your body, do something to change it. I like you just the way you are. A possible alternative to be used sparingly, That outfit is not the most flattering thing I have ever seen you wear. What about the [blue dress] instead? "was he better than me in bed" Why on earth would you ask such a silly Q? Didn't I just have an amazing orgasm? I enjoy our love making but I don't kiss and tell. Then immediately distract the person with sex. 1
jen1447 Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 The problem is telling a white lie or ignoring to save the other persons feelings is much more hurtful. It gives false hope to the one being let down gently and that's not fair. I'd rather have the blunt, honest truth every time without fail. I don't think people tell white lies to spare the other persons feelings at all anyway. They do it because they are too cowardly to be honest. Simple as that. Best post ever. Truth allows you to see things for what they are and make adjustments to improve.
AVarma Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 When a woman lets a man down, she usually tells a white lie(usually, not always) to spare feelings because she doesnt want to be verbally attacked or fears possibly being assaulted. sty is the best policy, people will tell a white lien to save their own butts. And I thought it was because women are generally nice. Is fear of being assaulted a common fear for women?
Hawaii51 Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 No ego will be spared! I can't change myself life to make 7 billion other people comfortable.
todreaminblue Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 if by being brutally honest you are unkind then its a no i dont appreciate unkind words....i think tact and a gentleness to honesty is a much better approach or i go on the defensive...... if you look at what you are saying and say how would i feel if someone said this to me......and you couldnt take it....dont dish it...theres criticism and then theres constructive criticism which helps a person....criticism by itself without a plan or constructive thoughts is normally about the person dishing it and making them feel good for whatever reason and often quite hurtful to the person on the receiving end............deb
GorillaTheater Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 ok what about "do you ever wish my cock was bigger" "do you think she's prettier than me" "do you think I'm fat" "was he better than me in bed" Questions like this scream insecurity. You may get honesty, but it's probably more likely that you'll get dumped.
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