alpha99 Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 Hi there, I had another thread a few weeks ago where I said I had been on a few dates with a girl. We had gotten along great each time but there was no intimacy (kissing etc). We ended the dates with a hug and a peck on the cheek. I thought we were moving slowly but it seems the girl just wasn't into it. Our last date was about 2 weeks ago. Since then I have texted a few times, she has replied (albeit slowly) with minimal words. She doesn't seem a big phone user even through the time of arranging our first dates etc. Anyway, to bring things up to the point. We met at a local social gathering that takes place once a week. I have become a regular of this gathering whereas the girl I'm on about is infrequent. I know she is going tonight. This means spending a few hours sat around a table together with a few other people. I'm wondering what to say, if anything, about our dating. Any advice? It seems most peoples' initial response would be to try and chat her up again, impress her, make her laugh or whatever, basically show you're still in pursuit of her. I really liked her, she is a gorgeous gal, but I don't think the above would be the way to go. She mentioned not dating often at all recently and so having gone on three dates with her it seemed we were doing well. I think she will be nice, polite, chatty etc when we meet up later but if possible I would like to try and see if it was possible to spark something up again without being overbearing about it. So any thoughts on how to behave (casually, indifferent, as if nothing has happened etc????) would be greatly appreciated. I am an open and honest guy, and so after having a few good dates I did tell her via text (I know, shameful, should have been face to face) that I liked her a lot. Maybe my language in doing so has scared her away. Of course I don't know that but we went from arranging to do something together a few days after our last date to not really speaking for two weeks. Logic says she ain't into it but since we are going to be seeing each other later I do wonder if there's any way to try and spark things up.
Satu Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 You can't make somebody want something that they don't want. She would have to change her mind. Thats not impossible, but you can't make it happen.
Author alpha99 Posted May 14, 2015 Author Posted May 14, 2015 Yeah, of course she would need to change her mind, and I'm sure that is something that is difficult to do. But then again people do that all the time don't they? I suppose what I was asking was from peoples' experiences here, if they have been in a situation like this were things went well initially before some sort of rejection, if they managed to overcome that somewhere down the line how did they go about re-engaging with the other person. I recognise that it is not likely to happen but since we meeting up later I thought I'd ask for advice on what may be the best approach to take. I certainly wouldn't be rude or dismissive of her, regardless of outcome, because I like to think I'm a nice person and even if she only wanted friendship that would be fine, but of course there are many different ways to behave and I certainly wouldn't want to come across as someone negative, sulking, rude, or even the opposite and clingy, needy etc. I guess I'm answering my own question really, be nice, civil, polite, try and have a good time without being flashy or overbearing and see if, however unlikely, that changes anything.
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