VSgirl Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 I’ve been talking to a new guy from Online Dating for about a week now. He texts me every day and we plan on meeting Sunday evening (he’s firming it up with work details whether saturday or sunday is better). We both are currently working over 60 hours a week and he worked a 16 hour day yesterday and a similar one tonight and so did I. He says his intent is to find a relationship.He’s texted me every day and seemed interested in regular conversation during the day and gets more flirty/sexual at night which I guess Is pretty normal. However he’s asked me a lot about my sexual history and how fast I do things etc. and I am shall we say not very sexually experienced. I’m not a prude, but I don’t rush into things sexually with a guy. I was up front about the fact that everything wasn’t on a certain timeline but that I would need to feel comfortable before taking things farther regardless of what that step would be. I sent him a pg “sexy photo of myself in a lace camisole tonight and we were talking in a flirty and sexual manner, but nothing crazy. He’s said that I know he doesn’t want me just for a piece of ass, but that I’m “a smart gal and will figure it out myself Sunday”. He said I just got him riled up. And I was trying to flirt and just said something like “oh I can get you beyond riled up’, then I also said that that was true about what he said and that Sunday would be great. But then he sent a few texts that said. 1.”Talk only does so much for me. I’m skeptical myself. I’m soon (typo???) about chemistry and personality. Definitely don’t like timelines on sexual acts out of necessity (based on me saying after being asked by him about my sexual experience and how fast I’ve done sexual things with guys that I said it would depend on my comfort level and how things progressed). 2. But we are going to see each other soon. And will have a better understanding. 3. I’m crashing. Goodnight. I should have just let it end at that or said goodnight but of course I couldn’t. I wrote back asking if he was skeptical of me. He said “Of the whole situation so yeah. its all new territory for me”. And that’s the last I’ve heard Maybe I’m too tired or just dense, but what do you guys think this guy means or is trying to do by all this? The comment about him being skeptical about me hurt my feelings. I guess he may have just been trying to say that he isn’t used to dating girls who take things slower like I do and he wants to see if we click before he gets ahead of himself. Or maybe he is just tired? Or do you think that he’s reconsidering about wanting to meet me because I won’t do things sexually fast enough for him?
madjac74 Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 Honestly it sounds like he is wondering if he will get some action before he commits the time for the date.
Toodaloo Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 You take things slower and you have sent him pics of you in a cami? Erm why??? If you feel comfortable meeting this guy then go and expect nothing. He could be a sex pervert (in either a good or bad way I hasten to add!). He could be thinking all sorts of things. If you do not feel comfortable do not go. Either way you need to tell friends and family where you are going, when and text/ phone one when its done and you are safe back home... 1
GemmaUK Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 Sounds to me like he is trying to manipulate your thinking so that Sunday will mean sex. I stop all conversation with a guy when he turns it sexual if I haven't yet met him. I didn't once and almost paid a high price for it. Me personally, I wouldn't meet this guy. If you still want to make sure you have several people who know where you are going and with who and make sure the date is in a public place. 1
minime13 Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 I’ve been talking to a new guy from Online Dating for about a week now. He’s texted me every day and seemed interested in regular conversation during the day and gets more flirty/sexual at night which I guess Is pretty normal. However he’s asked me a lot about my sexual history and how fast I do things etc. and I am shall we say not very sexually experienced. RED FLAG. I sent him a pg “sexy photo of myself in a lace camisole tonight and we were talking in a flirty and sexual manner, but nothing crazy. Did you do this on your own, or were you coerced? He’s said that I know he doesn’t want me just for a piece of ass, but that I’m “a smart gal and will figure it out myself Sunday”. I'm going to be blunt with this comment - it sounds straight-up rapey. He said I just got him riled up. And I was trying to flirt and just said something like “oh I can get you beyond riled up’, then I also said that that was true about what he said and that Sunday would be great. But then he sent a few texts that said. 1.”Talk only does so much for me. I’m skeptical myself. I’m soon (typo???) about chemistry and personality. Definitely don’t like timelines on sexual acts out of necessity (based on me saying after being asked by him about my sexual experience and how fast I’ve done sexual things with guys that I said it would depend on my comfort level and how things progressed). 2. But we are going to see each other soon. And will have a better understanding. 3. I’m crashing. Goodnight. I should have just let it end at that or said goodnight but of course I couldn’t. I wrote back asking if he was skeptical of me. He said “Of the whole situation so yeah. its all new territory for me”. And that’s the last I’ve heard He is planning on having sex with you on Sunday whether you intend for it to happen or not. Is that something you want? That seems like a pretty dangerous situation to get into. You need to bail. Fast.
Redhead14 Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 I’ve been talking to a new guy from Online Dating for about a week now. He texts me every day and we plan on meeting Sunday evening (he’s firming it up with work details whether saturday or sunday is better). We both are currently working over 60 hours a week and he worked a 16 hour day yesterday and a similar one tonight and so did I. He says his intent is to find a relationship.He’s texted me every day and seemed interested in regular conversation during the day and gets more flirty/sexual at night which I guess Is pretty normal. However he’s asked me a lot about my sexual history and how fast I do things etc. and I am shall we say not very sexually experienced. I’m not a prude, but I don’t rush into things sexually with a guy. I was up front about the fact that everything wasn’t on a certain timeline but that I would need to feel comfortable before taking things farther regardless of what that step would be. I sent him a pg “sexy photo of myself in a lace camisole tonight and we were talking in a flirty and sexual manner, but nothing crazy. He’s said that I know he doesn’t want me just for a piece of ass, but that I’m “a smart gal and will figure it out myself Sunday”. He said I just got him riled up. And I was trying to flirt and just said something like “oh I can get you beyond riled up’, then I also said that that was true about what he said and that Sunday would be great. But then he sent a few texts that said. 1.”Talk only does so much for me. I’m skeptical myself. I’m soon (typo???) about chemistry and personality. Definitely don’t like timelines on sexual acts out of necessity (based on me saying after being asked by him about my sexual experience and how fast I’ve done sexual things with guys that I said it would depend on my comfort level and how things progressed). 2. But we are going to see each other soon. And will have a better understanding. 3. I’m crashing. Goodnight. I should have just let it end at that or said goodnight but of course I couldn’t. I wrote back asking if he was skeptical of me. He said “Of the whole situation so yeah. its all new territory for me”. And that’s the last I’ve heard Maybe I’m too tired or just dense, but what do you guys think this guy means or is trying to do by all this? The comment about him being skeptical about me hurt my feelings. I guess he may have just been trying to say that he isn’t used to dating girls who take things slower like I do and he wants to see if we click before he gets ahead of himself. Or maybe he is just tired? Or do you think that he’s reconsidering about wanting to meet me because I won’t do things sexually fast enough for him? However he’s asked me a lot about my sexual history and how fast I do things etc I was up front about the fact that everything wasn’t on a certain timeline but that I would need to feel comfortable before taking things farther regardless of what that step would be sent him a pg “sexy photo of myself in a lace camisole tonight and we were talking in a flirty and sexual manner “oh I can get you beyond riled up’, I wrote back asking if he was skeptical of me. He said “Of the whole situation so yeah. He's skeptical because you're sending mixed messages. You told him you need to feel comfortable before taking things further, meaning go slowly and then sent sexy photos and sexually exciting messages to someone you haven't met. I wouldn't do that kind of thing with someone I haven't met. You haven't met him yet and it's none of his business what your sexual history is yet either. Asking about your sexual history before you meet, is usually a signal that the guy wants to get laid. You say you want to move slowly before being sexual, do that with this one. Say what you mean and mean what you say. He asked about your sexual history and you told him you like to go slow, so he modeled his response by saying he likes chemistry and personality. He knew what to say to you to get to you go out. Then, you sent sexual stuff and so it appears to him that you may be a little confused about what you want and he'll be hoping you'll let your guard down quickly. Women do this all the time. They say they want to go slow, and then have first or second date sex. 1
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