Terrorblade Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 Hi guys, I would like your help with a situation I'm currently having. Background - I(23) became close to a colleague at work. We then went on a travel trip together (with other people as well), in which we spent a lot of time together and ended up making out. Eventually, we hooked up. She was really upset about it, because she had a boyfriend of 6 years and she cheated on him with me. She told him about what happened, and both of them have decided to be on a break. Now, both of us have been going out for lunch/dinner/movies and stuff - where there has just been the two of us. We have discussed about what to do - she told me to not "expect" anything from her for a while, because she just got out of a relationship. I'm not pushing her in any way, but I am a little confused as to what can I expect from the future. One day, while hanging out, she held my hand in public. The next day I went over to her place and we cuddled and watched a movie, and then kissed. Both of these were initiated by her, as I was maintaining my distance. I don't want to come across as needy by initiating the "what are we" conversation right now, but I like her as a person and I do eventually want a relationship with her.I don't think she does at this point, but then why would she hold my hand in public and show all these gestures of affection? What do you guys think? How should I proceed from here? Any help would be appreciated.
madjac74 Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 It's hilarious she "doesn't want you to expect much from her now" after getting out of a relationship when you guys are doing everything that people in a relationship do. But just realize she cheated...and her statement suggests she wants to play the field or go back and forth with you and her ex
Author Terrorblade Posted May 14, 2015 Author Posted May 14, 2015 Yes, that is what I am concerned about. She is still in touch with the ex. My only worry is that this may end up just being a fling for her before she gets back with him again.
Gary S Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 - she told me to not "expect" anything from her for a while, because she just got out of a relationship. - she is on the rebound. 1
smackie9 Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 I agree she's on a rebound. Obviously she wasn't happy with her BF anymore so anything outside the relationship looks good. Since you two were emotionally close she was comfortable enough to sleep with you.....that's it. You were her stepping stone.
fitnessfan365 Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 I know that she cheated on her BF with you. But that should eliminate her as dating material instantly because she has no integrity. Not to mention the fact that she's also on the rebound. So my advice? Knock off the lunches, dinners, movies, etc and just treat her like a f**k buddy. Let her reach out to you, and when she does, invite her over to your place. When the mood strikes watch movies and have sex with her. But when you're not seeing her, spend time looking for a woman that's actual GF material.
GoBlue Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 I don't want to come across as needy by initiating the "what are we" conversation right now, but I like her as a person and I do eventually want a relationship with her.I don't think she does at this point, but then why would she hold my hand in public and show all these gestures of affection? The truth is that the two of you are already in a relationship. It may not be defined as you would like it to be but you are together in a very basic way. Clearly she is attracted to you and you to her. She has, however, just come out of a 6 year relationship. Essentially, she has gone through a divorce and it came about because she strayed with you, which seems to be an indicator that the relationship wasn't going all that well. She has to heal and recover from the loss she experienced there. To ask her for a commitment right now would be the same thing as asking her to jump from one relationship right into another. What do you think would be a good approach? Should you push for a commitment right away? Should you rush head-long into physical intimacy? I don't think so but I am way more conservative than most seem to be these days. Hope it all works out. Blessings!
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