j_mysterio Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 Okay, so I made it out of the break up forums lol Now... I work a job where I see this girl , Mary (fake name) twice a month. Two weeks ago I found out shes getting a divorce... we've been texting pretty much ever since. Just random questions and convos... Tonight when we were texting Mary brought up how another girl at the job acts like Mary is competition because of the b!tchy attitude she has towards her... Mary said she thinks thats stupid and its not like shes trying to sleep with everyone. (which it seems like what the other girl does) Me being slick rick in the moment said this to her: "No girl at work is competition to you by the way. Im not just saying that to flatter you. You should know your worth, you are gorgeous and have class, unlike most there. You're different. Now do I have to say something mean to get my man card back now? :p" Once I sent that I was like *****, did I just go overboard lol and followed it up with: "Dont even respond to what I said above(then i mentioned something about work)" She responded with: "Okay, I wont respond to it. But it was very nice of you to say lol (then continued the work stuff)" Am I a total idiot? Texting dwindled down after that but it usually does at this time of night anyways. I'm not obsessing over this girl... I mean I like her, I do, but I'm trying to sort of make this a learning experience and not mess it up as much as possible. Both of us are fresh out of relationships and I'm just looking for some wisdom. Anything would be appreciated. Ya know.. how to handle it. Do I just ignore her till she texts me again, i stopped texting her randomly. Am I overanalyzing. lol dumb question.. i am but help me out.
I_Give_Up67 Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 Don't know if you are over analyzing it.. but i would go for it if you think she is ready to move on also. Stake your claim. You can show your interest without being too aggressive. Glad to see you are ready to move on! 1
Author j_mysterio Posted May 14, 2015 Author Posted May 14, 2015 Thank you. It's just weird cause both of our splits are fresh. Ya know how you can be in a relationship with a girl but youre friends with another girl who really is just classy and beautiful and you think to yourself.... whoever is with her or gets with her is lucky. Well I'm single now and That is this girl. I dont want to come on too strong but I want to be on her radar. Get what im saying? lol Its a dumb situation.
I_Give_Up67 Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 I know exactly what you mean bro! Like I've said, go for it! Just beware of the rebound effect by either of you two. But if it helps put some miles between you and your Ex, it will be so worth it. Just play it cool, but let you intentions be known. 1
La.Primavera Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 Just be yourself, take it slow and try not to over think it. 1
Author j_mysterio Posted May 14, 2015 Author Posted May 14, 2015 Thanks for literally making me laugh out loud by telling me not to overthink it. It's so obvious thats what I need to do. This fncking forum and the internet has ruined me. Theres soooo many details and sciences to male/female interactions its insane. 1
madjac74 Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 This fncking forum and the internet has ruined me. Don't forget the cell phone you were texting her on. It all makes people act and say things they wouldn't normally say in person just because they are hiding behind a device. Unfortunately for you...you still have to maintain a professional work environment with her. Don't mix work and pleasure
fitnessfan365 Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 (edited) The best piece of advice I can give you for the future is not to act apologetic or show regret over something you said/did unless you really screw up badly. You should have just let your heartfelt text stand and see how she responded to it. Back pedaling like you did shows a lack of confidence like you can't stand behind your convictions. Don't initiate anything for a few days. Then give her a call on Saturday and ask her out. Something as simple as "The texting has been fun. But I'd like to actually spend time with you. When are you free to grab a drink next week?" Then see what she says. If she reaches out to you before Sat, then call her on that day in response and ask her out. But either way, the date invite will be more sincere over the phone. Edited May 14, 2015 by fitnessfan365 1
minime13 Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 Tonight when we were texting Mary brought up how another girl at the job acts like Mary is competition because of the b!tchy attitude she has towards her... Mary said she thinks thats stupid and its not like shes trying to sleep with everyone. (which it seems like what the other girl does) What are your conversations like, typically? Are they usually just about work, do they ever get flirty, or does she talk to you like a friend (the quote I used is a girl bitching about other girls to a friend, which is why I ask)? If there has never really been any flirtation, I think you've been friend-zoned. By the way, women pick up on subtleties better than men, typically. Your text said a lot about how you feel for her. If she doesn't take that bait, then you definitely have been friend-zoned. I am not sure you really need to hint at anything further. And remember - she is going through a divorce. She may not want to date anyone right now. 1
Author j_mysterio Posted May 14, 2015 Author Posted May 14, 2015 It def has gotten flirty... And I was torn between my second comment being back pedaling or like "I don't really care for you to respond to that, im a man... I dont need your input, don't feel obligated, lets move on with the conversation, that's how I feel" comment. Yes we talk beyond work, don't the fav foods, music, talked about our flaws and I'm always teasing her. Not saying I haven't been friend zoned... But I still believe there's a possibility I am not friend zoned also.
Author j_mysterio Posted May 14, 2015 Author Posted May 14, 2015 Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to wait for her to initiate contact. I believe she'll miss our dumb conversations. Lol I wont mention feelings anymore and just be funny and cool.
fitnessfan365 Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 Here's the thing though man. You know what every guy not in the friend zone has in common? They had the balls to go after what they want and make the girl theirs. So if you don't want to be her friend, you have to stop acting like one. This means that you stop beating around the bush with all the texting, and just ask her out. 1
Author j_mysterio Posted May 14, 2015 Author Posted May 14, 2015 There's a thin line between needy/pushy and straight forward.
Author j_mysterio Posted May 14, 2015 Author Posted May 14, 2015 bdnsnsnsndnsnsnsnsnsnsnsnrbbtbtbtbtvrvxbjxjxi D jebevheicdiebveehxixiddjb
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