bunch of small differences, enough to break it off or hang on and give it a chance?

[Questioning_1]

hey everyone,

I am a little confused about what to do. My bf and I have been together for about 10 months or so, when Im with him I cant get enough of him, when im away from him i miss him, down to the point Im in love. He says he feels the same way and i see it in him, he is caring and sweet and fun, our sex life is good and we talk and laugh together, we have the same approach to dating (prefer in depth relationships rather than flings and treat each other as partners for long term not just for a short good time). there are differences between us though that i dont know if they are big enough that I should reconsider the relationship.

our political views dont really mesh, he is less accepting of ppl as they are than I am and likes his country of origin more than where we are living now although I would not be able to move far due to circumstances, (we even need to consider the possibility of him having to move due to college necessity and need to talk about what we will do if that happens), we approach money in a slightly different way and just that he is more sterotypical in his approach of how one goes about life (make money, take care of ur family, do it on ur own not depending on people), whereas my ackground means I am involved with a business where I need to forge a slightly different path and can maintain the lifestyle I have if i do. in addition i crave and need security or stability/predictablity having had a very rocky few years behind me, whereas he is pretty confident and calm, able to play it dqay by day and due to some health issues he is a little unpredictable in his life schedule...

you see? its a bunch of little things that they make things confusing but none of them feel big enough to call it quits, and yes it would be damned hard to think of not being with him. yet the stability vs instability wreaks some havok on my nerves hehehe

 

 

kinda hard to lay it all out clearly but if anyone has any thoughts I would appreciate it

 

thanks

[Ty]

if you love each other and love being around each other, nothing else matters. All the details can be worked out..

[sweetadeline]

There are always going to be differences. I think what matters isn't whether or not you love each other (b/c that feeling changes over the course of a long relationship) but how flexible you both are. That is, can you appreciate and work with one another's differences? Can you respond to one another's needs, even if you recognize that those needs are different from yours? Or do your discussions about your differences collapse into attempts to prove that one person is right and the other is wrong?

[eastern_mystique]

Compatiblity in a relationship is not about having exactly the same opinions and views on everything - it's about having enough similarities to relate to each other, but enough differences for the relationship to be interesting.

 

sweetadeline is right - it's not about the fact you have differences (because everyone does) - it's about how you resolve those differences. The differences you've mentioned don't seem to be that big of a deal, and if you break it off over that, I think you may regret your actions later. Stuff like one of you wanting kids one day and one of you not wanting kids, or really different religious beliefs......that stuff is more serious.

 

when Im with him I cant get enough of him, when im away from him i miss him, down to the point Im in love. He says he feels the same way and i see it in him, he is caring and sweet and fun, our sex life is good and we talk and laugh together, we have the same approach to dating (prefer in depth relationships rather than flings and treat each other as partners for long term not just for a short good time).

 

I don't think there's any problem here. Don't worry so much

[Questioning_1]

thanks for the replies, appreciate it a lot, you're right the diffs arent too big a deal, i think we should be able to adress whatever needs each of us has and I will see where this goes and enjoy. I guess its just a little frightening to let someone in so deeply differences and all, dont want to get hurt.

 

thanks again