havocser Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 Alright, so a coworker and I have been hooking up here and there and we've gone out just him and I once and have other plans. It's very casual, like we don't text or talk on the phone whatsoever during the times we don't see each other. We haven't really discussed what we're doing (I'm not exactly sure how to bring it up because I don't know how he feels and I'm fine with the way things are going) but we're both just going with the flow I suppose. anyways, last night when we together and just got back to my place from the bar I blurted out I liked him (I was fairly intoxicated) and he said something about how I have to play the game... What? so I have no idea what his stance is here or how to approach it, we're both fairly laid back so I don't forsee this getting messy and ugly. My dads getting married next month and I don't have a date to the wedding and I've been considering asking him to come with me, which would be no issue if it was any other wedding since its just a social event but it's going to be all family so I don't know what the rules are on bringing a casual fling with me or how he would feel if I put him on the spot like that and asked him to come with me. So those are my two questions. How do I lightly approach the subject with him so we can both discuss where we stand and is it a bad idea to ask him to go to my fathers wedding?
d0nnivain Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 Lightly approach . . . don't think that is possible considering it's your dad's wedding. A friend's wedding maybe. About all you can do is not discuss it & especially don't try to explain it. Just put it out there: My dad is getting married on [date]. The wedding is at [place]. Would you please go with me as my date?
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 Like d0n said, just approach casually on the issue. I don't see anything wrong with it personally, but it's wading into relationship territory, so if you have a explicit casual relationship it might be out of bounds. However it sounds like you don't know what your arrangement is.
ExpatInItaly Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 I don't think I'd invite him to the wedding. It's an important family event and (for me) would be too much to bring a fling to. His response to you telling him you liked him was a bit odd. I have a feeling he wants to keep this light and casual. However, the only way to know is if you talk about it. Who usually initiates communication? What do you nights out generally consist of?
Author havocser Posted May 13, 2015 Author Posted May 13, 2015 Yeah, I'm not sure where we stand, I don't really know what I want which is confusing I'm sure to him. Because we hook up and we do breakfast and make plans for the day time ect. I asked a friend about it and she said she see's nothing wrong with the wedding but that the only reason to talk to him about our situation would be if I wanted more than what we're doing which I'm not exactly sure about, and that I just shouldn't bring it up and just go with the flow. I'm not sure he's even interested in anything more anyways, he's brought up twice now how I remind him of his sister - my friend thinks this is creepy and weird but I think it meant he just feels comfortable with me. Which is a okay. I'm enjoying the casual appeal of what's happening right now and I'm having fun, so I don't want to freak him out by inviting him to my dads wedding, which is kind of why I came here.
Author havocser Posted May 13, 2015 Author Posted May 13, 2015 I don't think I'd invite him to the wedding. It's an important family event and (for me) would be too much to bring a fling to. His response to you telling him you liked him was a bit odd. I have a feeling he wants to keep this light and casual. However, the only way to know is if you talk about it. Who usually initiates communication? What do you nights out generally consist of? We really only talk while we're at work sometimes (we don't work together often) and when we're out, it's pretty 50/50. I actually didn't intend on seeing him last night as I was kind of on a date already but my manager told me to come to a specific bar and to call him and invite him so I did. Our nights out are generally with work or just him and I hung out and went to a bar once and had a few drinks (we oddly didn't hook up after that though)
smackie9 Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 You remind him of his sister? he's totally friending you into the zone. The wedding is in a few months, hopefully by then you will have met someone new.
Author havocser Posted May 13, 2015 Author Posted May 13, 2015 You remind him of his sister? he's totally friending you into the zone. The wedding is in a few months, hopefully by then you will have met someone new. The wedding is in just a little less than a month, and I have no issue taking someone else with me but I thought I would ask him so that I ... Erm.. Have a solid lay afterwords? Lol
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