newmoon Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 this is a serious post. i don't want accusations of shallowness, but some insight and understanding about something i just don't get. to the guys that currently, or have formerly, dated women with acne all over their faces.. how can you possibly look past this? i just don't understand it at all. i know that inner beauty is supposed to be #1 and etc. but seriously, how can a man overlook a face full of active pimples, kiss a girl with them, make love to her, and marry her, even? i am wondering how men are able to overlook this and why they do. does it make you feel sorry for her? does it make you feel like the better looking partner? do you try to help her after with her skin? and i'm not talking about teens, but adult men. i happen to have 2 close girlfriends (both in their 30s) and their skin is just horrid. they know it, everyone else can see it, they tell me their bf's say stuff, etc. and yet one is married and one has a boyfriend every other week. i just wonder how the guys they end up with can see beauty in their faces. how can a face full of acne be beautiful to look at?? i don't get it :-( someone be nice and explain.
Dallers Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Love is not based on looks. If you choose to pass somebody by because of a simple skin affliction then you are potentially throwing away someone who could be the one for you and lucky for them they missed out on someone like you. Skin problems are also not the fault of the person the majority of the time. I was born with rosacea down either side of my nose and have had it all my life. I don't like it and it probably does put people off me as it looks red when the weather is cold. Their loss. It does not change the person and they are no doubt aware of it and do all they can to prevent it but sometimes life smacks you around the face literally and you get on with it. The ugliest thing to me is a vain perfect person who thinks they are better than someone because they have good genetics. White picket fence anyone? 6
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 It depends on the girl honestly. If she is beautiful under her acne, she's still cute. if she's ugly under her acne, she's just more ugly lol. I wouldn't next a girl just because of acne as long as she at least takes care of her appearance. 2
SycamoreCircle Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 Seems like I've met a number of women over the course of my life who become ebullient talking about popping their boyfriend's pimples. And YouTube seems to have enough videos on the subject that you might allege...Sebum Porn.
xxoo Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 They are people under the skin--people with personalities, strengths, charms, hearts and souls. There is plenty to fall in love with. No one is defined by their outer shell. 3
Satu Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 Selecting a partner on the basis of physical appearance is probably the least likely to guarantee lasting happiness. 6
guest569 Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 My ex had flare ups and was very self conscious about it, I thought he was being ridiculous cause I still saw him as a stud. Also I've had heaps of pimples in the past so I understand what it's like. The worst thing was people making comments when frankly it was none of their damn business. People that think 'why don't you just fix it' as though it's that simple. 1
empresario Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 Extremely hot body. Also cute faces minus. Nothing a little age won't cure. And often times these women are diamonds in the rough...forced to have personalities when other women relied on looks. 2
johndoe2 Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 I have never dated a woman with acne, but it wouldn't matter for the simple reason that I have egregious physical shortcomings of my own and so am in no position to be picky. I also have a fairly pockmarked face so it would be doubly hypocritical. 3
neowulf Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 OP if you're unable to understand, then I doubt anything we have to say is going to help the issue. Perhaps this might help. If you were in a terrible accident and your face was scared, would you suddenly cease to be you? Would you suddenly become worthless? Is what makes you "you" only skin deep? Sooner or later we're all going to lose our looks. We're all going to put on a few pounds, have our hair fall out or go grey. The luster of youth fades. All you have left past that is who you are inside. That's who you build a life with in the end. 6
CrystalCastles Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 (edited) I had severe acne when I was a teen and then a young adult. It went away (sometimes I get breakouts when I'm really stressed). I thankfully don't have any scars and my skin is otherwise very smooth, but when I get breakouts I feel so embarrassed by my bad skin. I met my boyfriend when I was in the middle of a breakout but it didn't stop him from dating me. My best friend also has acne, cystic, but it doesn't stop men from hitting on her frequently. Acne for a lot of people comes and goes because of hormones. I know people with adult acne too, and they are married/taken. Just because someone has acne they are not automatically a worthless person. Maybe you don't see anything beautiful in these people but clearly someone did. If all you ever look for is perfection in someone's looks, that is sad. People are not perfect, we aren't going to look young and hot forever, people get wrinkles, acne, scars, saggy skin, maybe they get cancer and their hair falls out, etc. This doesn't make these people worthless or undateable. If that is how you think, then perhaps you are emotionally immature. Edited May 14, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 5
Satu Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 If all you ever look for is perfection in someone's looks, that is sad. People are not perfect, we aren't going to look young and hot forever, people get wrinkles, acne, scars, saggy skin, maybe they get cancer and their hair falls out, etc. This doesn't make these people worthless or undateable. If that is how you think, then perhaps you are emotionally immature. One of the most beautiful people I know has acne. I don't really notice it, because I'm seeing someone who is beautiful in many different ways. 3
loveweary11 Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 Because the texture of the skin only has the slightest impact on what's hot. Take any hot girl and cover her with acne and she's still hot. It's about the shape of her parts, not the texture of her skin. In fact, I've been MORE drawn to some girls with acne because the extra oil on their skin gave them a glisten that highlighted their curvaceous, pouty lips. Not a joke. Dead serious.
ascendotum Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 It depends on the girl honestly. If she is beautiful under her acne, she's still cute. if she's ugly under her acne, she's just more ugly lol. I wouldn't next a girl just because of acne as long as she at least takes care of her appearance. This is how it is for me too. Also...for your gf the - "one has a boyfriend every other week"....this is not necessarily a positive reflection on guys not caring about her acne or that the guys love her. In her case its possible many of them do have an issue with her acne when it comes to the longer term, just just not in the short term (especially if there is sex involved)
Phoe Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 I, like CC, had awful acne when I was younger. I got teased for it by bullies, and I remember one time I came out of the shower looking and feeling so miserable, my mom actually burst into tears and decided from then on we were gonna do whatever we could to fix it. I'm cleared up now for many years, but my skin is temperamental. I have to baby it, and if I slip up, or get stressed, I can break out. And then I stress about the breakouts. And since I'm more towards the oily side, my skin can get a bit shiny during the day and I get disgruntled about that as well. I keep my makeup to a minimum so my skin can breathe, and after a workout I go straight into the locker room and wash my face out in the sink and put on some moisturizer I keep in my gym bag, so I can leave feeling nice and fresh and keep my skin from acting up. Even though I was bullied as a teen, as an adult not a single person, man or woman, has appeared to give a rip if I get a zit. Sure, I get stressed and self-conscious and feel like the world is staring at it, but I know I'm overreacting. People get zits. Some more than others, some less than others. Life goes on... 3
loveweary11 Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 And since I'm more towards the oily side, my skin can get a bit shiny during the day and I get disgruntled about that as well. . I can't understand this. Why do women seem to find oily skin unattractive? I love it. Sets off every glistening nuance of the female face (and body). I also had nearly disfiguring acne and backne that nothing helped until they invented accutane. I was one of the first on it. It definitely worked. It was fierce, but it stopped my oil glands.
Penguin_hugs Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 I've had facial acne for years, it goes through lots of ups and downs! The last thing I can try is Roaccutane (UK brand name). But I've decided against it for now as I don't have the time in my life to see a dr and get blood tests that frequently. I also read up on the side effects and this isn't the time in my life to go through that at the moment! I discussed with my BF about it- and he asked me not to take it as he didn't want me to put my health at risk (liver damage etc) for something that I only notice. He claims he doesn't see my acne- he just sees me and he really doesn't care. Besides no one is perfect.
acrosstheuniverse Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 My ex of four years had severe acne, really really bad. On his face and all over his back. He was horribly insecure about it and saw dermatologists but man, I thought he was the sexiest guy ever. The acne didn't change a thing about my attraction. I will always recall when we got together when I was 18, before we slept together or became official he was really reluctant to take those steps and I thought he wasn't into me... Then one day he took a deep breath and said before we went any further he had to show me something. I was really confused and like okay... What? And he took his t shirt off for the first time to show me his back, it was covered in acne but I didn't register it. I thought he was gonna show me a huge disfigurement or a tattoo of an Ex or something and he couldn't believe how little I cared about the acne but I truly didn't, I just thought he was incredibly hot, and I still think he's attractive now even though we are no longer together. With his ex, he would NEVER sleep or have sex with her without his t shirt on but over time with me he started not caring as much because I used to tell him how gorgeous he was. Bottom line is, you cannot change what turns you off or on. If you are turned off by acne then cool, nobody judges you for not going after people you're not into. But given that everyone is different in their tastes I am surprised you are surprised people can find a man or woman with acne hot. It's one of the most common skin conditions around, I swear I don't even notice if somebody has it or not. Perhaps you're just fixated on it so notice it everywhere you go but it sounds like most people are like me... It has little bearing on attraction. My current partner has loads of back hair and I am so into him I don't care. He thinks it's gross and I just tease him he's my bear and snuggle into him whether I'm snuggled into his very hairy chest (I love that!) or his back when he hasn't shaved. I think if you fall for someone, their 'imperfections' cease to be unpleasant and become lovely little quirks you love them all the more for. 7
loveweary11 Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 I have to do the same thing, even to this day. My face came out fine. My back is scarred up badly from acne. The Accutane stopped all new acne, but my back scars are life long. It's embarrassing to this day for me. My ex of four years had severe acne, really really bad. On his face and all over his back. He was horribly insecure about it and saw dermatologists but man, I thought he was the sexiest guy ever. The acne didn't change a thing about my attraction. I will always recall when we got together when I was 18, before we slept together or became official he was really reluctant to take those steps and I thought he wasn't into me... Then one day he took a deep breath and said before we went any further he had to show me something. I was really confused and like okay... What? And he took his t shirt off for the first time to show me his back, it was covered in acne but I didn't register it. I thought he was gonna show me a huge disfigurement or a tattoo of an Ex or something and he couldn't believe how little I cared about the acne but I truly didn't, I just thought he was incredibly hot, and I still think he's attractive now even though we are no longer together. With his ex, he would NEVER sleep or have sex with her without his t shirt on but over time with me he started not caring as much because I used to tell him how gorgeous he was. Bottom line is, you cannot change what turns you off or on. If you are turned off by acne then cool, nobody judges you for not going after people you're not into. But given that everyone is different in their tastes I am surprised you are surprised people can find a man or woman with acne hot. It's one of the most common skin conditions around, I swear I don't even notice if somebody has it or not. Perhaps you're just fixated on it so notice it everywhere you go but it sounds like most people are like me... It has little bearing on attraction. My current partner has loads of back hair and I am so into him I don't care. He thinks it's gross and I just tease him he's my bear and snuggle into him whether I'm snuggled into his very hairy chest (I love that!) or his back when he hasn't shaved. I think if you fall for someone, their 'imperfections' cease to be unpleasant and become lovely little quirks you love them all the more for. 1
xxoo Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 Brad Pitt has acne scars. Sexiest man alive! Nuff said. 1
Phoe Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 I can't understand this. Why do women seem to find oily skin unattractive? I love it. Sets off every glistening nuance of the female face (and body). I also had nearly disfiguring acne and backne that nothing helped until they invented accutane. I was one of the first on it. It definitely worked. It was fierce, but it stopped my oil glands. Setting off those nuances is exactly what I hate about it! I have strong and defined bone structure, and if my skin gets shiny it accentuates that bone structure. I prefer doing anything I can to get my bone structure to look soft as possible. Otherwise it just looks too... well, it's too much.
cessna Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 I've had facial acne for years, it goes through lots of ups and downs! The last thing I can try is Roaccutane (UK brand name). But I've decided against it for now as I don't have the time in my life to see a dr and get blood tests that frequently. I also read up on the side effects and this isn't the time in my life to go through that at the moment! I discussed with my BF about it- and he asked me not to take it as he didn't want me to put my health at risk (liver damage etc) for something that I only notice. He claims he doesn't see my acne- he just sees me and he really doesn't care. Besides no one is perfect. I had three courses of Roaccutane when I was younger. It worked wonders for me, the only real side-effect being dry lips and skin which I still get but it's a non-issue really. I'd seriously consider it if I were you. I spent too many years of my teens and early 20s receiving abuse for my acne and it killed my confidence. I only wish I'd taken Roaccutane much earlier. 1
jay1983 Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 I have to do the same thing, even to this day. My face came out fine. My back is scarred up badly from acne. The Accutane stopped all new acne, but my back scars are life long. It's embarrassing to this day for me. I worked offshore when I was 25. I was having a hard time hanging, cause the work was so hard. I asked the guys I worked with how they do it and I ended up buying a cycle. One shot in my ass and a few days later, my back exploded so bad that I still scars till this day.
loveweary11 Posted May 15, 2015 Posted May 15, 2015 I worked offshore when I was 25. I was having a hard time hanging, cause the work was so hard. I asked the guys I worked with how they do it and I ended up buying a cycle. One shot in my ass and a few days later, my back exploded so bad that I still scars till this day. Damn, from one single shot?? That sucks, man. Wow
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