AVarma Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 It's an issue that I've thought a bit about. My parents would be opposed to me dating anybody, much less someone who was not a Muslim or Indian. I don't really care but I'm not going to lie and say it would probably come up if I ever get into a relationship with somebody. So how would you ladies feel about this? Would you date a man even though his family opposed your relationship?
Gary S Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 Millions of people do this every year... it's so popular, they even have a name for it.... Elopement. 2
Ruby Slippers Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 The only thing that matters is how the man handles it. If he refuses to let the disapproving parents interfere and maintains the proper boundaries to protect the relationship, it's not a problem. If he lets them push him around and intrude into the relationship, there's no chance. I think a lot of people don't have the strength and fortitude to put up and maintain the strong boundary that would be required in such a situation. The only man I've felt mutual true love with had a meddling family, and he failed to defend us against their intrusive attacks. So I guess it wasn't really true love. I had another boyfriend with a meddling mother, and he handled it the right way - refused to have anything to do with her unless she treated our relationship with respect and stopped meddling. He wasn't perfect, but I will always respect him for that. 3
msmeliss84 Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 The only thing that matters is how the man handles it. 100% agree. I've been on two sides of the coin before. I dated a man whos family didn't approve of me because I had a child from a previous relationship. He just let them make me feel uncomfortable and never stood up for me. Eventually I stood up for myself and left. On the other side, I've had a boyfriend who stood up for me and defending me all the time. A girl will stick around for a man who actively shows how much he cares. Its tricky, because you don't want anyone getting hurt, but in the end, your family should come around and just accept things. If not, its their actions that are putting the nail on the coffin of your relationship with them.
Trishern Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 It's an issue that I've thought a bit about. My parents would be opposed to me dating anybody, much less someone who was not a Muslim or Indian. I don't really care but I'm not going to lie and say it would probably come up if I ever get into a relationship with somebody. So how would you ladies feel about this? Would you date a man even though his family opposed your relationship? If I were single, I may still date him, but I'm not so sure I'd want to get serious, if his family never wanted to accept our relationship. It would also depend on if he was strong enough and assertive to stand up to his family.
thestaircase Posted May 16, 2015 Posted May 16, 2015 (edited) Mine was the other way around, it was 'MY' family that didn't accept my husband. My whole Chinese family was against me dating my husband, they still against it. In fact, they disown me after I married him. The only ONE person in my family that accepted my husband, that is my older brother. My Chinese mother is very ignorant. Never once she try to met my husband. She totally rejected him once she know he is not Chinese. She doesn’t even care to know his name, let alone his jobs or who he is as a person. Does my husband know all these? Heck yeah, he knows. But he doesn't care what my mother says/thinks of him, all he cares was me and him--'us'. My husband attitude was ‘as long as we together, this will give him strength to go against the whole world’. It was pretty much him against the world. In fact, he likes challenges. The harder it take to be together, the more we will treasure each others. It helps creates more 'memories' between us too, we won't forget the struggles and hardship we went through together. We make it through and we married now. If I was to give up then there won't be 'us' today. Hey, if two people love each others, then who cares if the family disapproved. As long as two people are grown age Adults. Not related by blood, both are Single/Unmarried. Then morally they can be together, nothing can stop them; we live in a free country afterall. Oh, this might be a factor of why it was easy for me to stood up for myself. My mother was abusive. I left her house when I was 18, now I'm 30 So more than two decades, I survived without her. I don't use a penny of her money, so she is in no position to dictate me who I should date or married. Now OP, if you have good relationship with your parents, then I can see why it hard for you to break away from them. So it all depends on the situation/circumstances. My husband didn't care about my ignorant Chinese mother dislike him. Why? Because I stood up for myself, I choose him over my mother. Yeah, I sound unfilial alright. But you do not know what things my abusive mother done to me throughout my whole childhood. I'm glad I have the strength to stood up for myself, and be the one in control of my own life. Edited May 16, 2015 by thestairs
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