Toodaloo Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 Guys There seems to be a trend of men and women who do not know how to use the word no. No does not mean yes please, perhaps or maybe. It means no. If you are uncomfortable at any point be it on a date, with your family, friends stepping over the line... JUST SAY NO. Say NO and mean NO. This goes for guys picking you up in bar, on line, people pushing you about and trying to get you to do things that you do not want to do... That friend who keeps trying his luck and is getting pervy. If it helps imagine that its your dog about to pee on the carpet and not a bloke/ female. Don't faff. Don't try to be polite. Just say no. Over and out. 10
Satu Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 Message received and understood. One thing I like about 'no,' is that it makes a lovely sentence in itself. Here it is: No. 3
fitnessfan365 Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 That's definitely the motto I live by woman. I remember one time when a solicitor came to my door. He was selling AT&T plans. So he starts to go into his pitch, and I stop him. I say "I've been in sales so I can respect you're doing your job. But I want to save you time and let you know that I am just not interested." Then he started trying to sell me again and I just closed the door in his face. Haha 1
preraph Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 Great words of wisdom from Toodaloo. One thing I read in some criminal psychology books is that you must understand that most people KNOW when they're crossing the line but are just trying to get away with it anyway. That's why you should never feel bad about telling them bluntly NO. The ex who won't go away, the new guy who you're not attracted to, they all know they're making you uncomfortable and they don't care, so why should you? The family member who likes to make themselves feel better by criticizing you knows they're being a bitch, so why should you care about hurting their feelings? People only bother you and harass you and tease or make fun or bully you if you react the way they want to it. If you shut them down right from the beginning, they know they can't do it to you and go away. There are people who would just as soon have negative interaction as positive. Either way they get attention. If you ever come across someone who doesn't seem to care how miserable things are as long as they've got company and drama, dump them. It's real messed up. Get the bad people out of your life. And please don't say "But they have a good side too." Everyone does. Doesn't mean you should stand around and take the abuse the rest of the time. You're just enabling them if you do. Get bad people out and then maybe you'll attract better people who also have boundaries. 2
Satu Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 That's definitely the motto I live by woman. I remember one time when a solicitor came to my door. He was selling AT&T plans. So he starts to go into his pitch, and I stop him. I say "I've been in sales so I can respect you're doing your job. But I want to save you time and let you know that I am just not interested." Then he started trying to sell me again and I just closed the door in his face. Haha Your post made me remember this poem: a salesman is an it that stinks Excuse Me whether it's president of the you were say or a jennelman name misder finger isn't important whether it's millions of other punks or just a handful absolutely doesn't matter and whether it's in lonjewray or shrouds is immaterial it stinks a salesman is an it that stinks to please but whether to please itself or someone else makes no more difference than if it sells hate condoms education snakeoil vac uumcleaners terror strawberries democ ra(caveat emptor)cy superfluous hair or Think We've Met subhuman rights Before - EE Cummings. 1
mongo Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 unless youre talking about cases with women where no means yes, yes means no, no means no sometimes, yes might mean yes, maybe. women should learn to say "**** off". id rather be told that than deal with any trifling whatsoever.
preraph Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 Once the line is crossed and a person no longer seems to care that he or she is making you uncomfortable, worried, or fearful, is intruding or interfering with your other relationships and making you feel as if you have no privacy, that is control, not friendship or love. Tell them no and block them every way you can. Don't entertain the pity party that will ensue. 3
Satu Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 unless youre talking about cases with women where no means yes, yes means no, no means no sometimes, yes might mean yes, maybe. women should learn to say "**** off". id rather be told that than deal with any trifling whatsoever. Some people think that: Yes means yes. Maybe means yes. No means maybe. I enjoy setting people straight about that. 1
mongo Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 Some people think that: Yes means yes. Maybe means yes. No means maybe. I enjoy setting people straight about that. hehe...i got a few ladies you can go set straight about that. saying yes to coffee dates and not even showing up, saying yes to a real date and going out with another dude, etc. yes means yes...but "i only meant it at the moment, i dont now." 1
preraph Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 California security specialist and stalking expert Gavin de Becker wrote in his great book "The Gift of Fear," "People who can't say no attract people who can't let go." His point is that by being weak and mealy mouthed and afraid to stand up for yourself because you're afraid of hurting someone's feelings, you are actually going to draw those people to you like a magnet by being too tolerant. 3
Gaeta Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 And once you start saying no, you will love it so much you will do it again and again. OH and the expression on their face when you say no is priceless! Him: we could go to your place Me: no Him: Try it !! it's FUN !! lol 3
writergal Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 Once the line is crossed and a person no longer seems to care that he or she is making you uncomfortable, worried, or fearful, is intruding or interfering with your other relationships and making you feel as if you have no privacy, that is control, not friendship or love. Tell them no and block them every way you can. Don't entertain the pity party that will ensue. Absolutely! It's also psychological abuse. "No!" is a very empowering word. The more you say it, the stronger your boundaries become and you stop putting up with b.s. from abusive people.
preraph Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 Absolutely! It's also psychological abuse. "No!" is a very empowering word. The more you say it, the stronger your boundaries become and you stop putting up with b.s. from abusive people. Yes. And because there are a certain number of people who won't take no for an answer who get to be more than pests and actually become dangerous or destructive, criminal profilers say you need to tell them "NO" as soon as you sense something is amiss because the more time they invest in you, the less likely they will leave peacefully. They imagine a relationship that isn't there to begin with, so it's not about you as much as it's just all in their head. So you have to be undaunted and be very clear that it's NO and it's always going to be NO and if you ever see their face again, it will be dial 911.
Author Toodaloo Posted May 13, 2015 Author Posted May 13, 2015 It really is driving me mad that so few people son't simply just say no. Hands up I confess I am also guilty at times but really... there is a difference between being in two mind if you want to go out for drinks tonight or do you want to continue in that bad relationship, have your money conned out of you etc...
Jame22 Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 I learned this the hard way. A girl I really liked tried to friendzone me and I just went along with it for 3 months. All of the sudden I woke up and realized what I was doing and got the **** out of dodge. She tried to come back and I lost my composure and said a bunch of stuff I regretted, she thinks I'm crazy now. All of that could of been avoided if I just would of rejected her initial offer to just be friends.
Author Toodaloo Posted May 14, 2015 Author Posted May 14, 2015 I learned this the hard way. A girl I really liked tried to friendzone me and I just went along with it for 3 months. All of the sudden I woke up and realized what I was doing and got the **** out of dodge. She tried to come back and I lost my composure and said a bunch of stuff I regretted, she thinks I'm crazy now. All of that could of been avoided if I just would of rejected her initial offer to just be friends. Good on you! Don't worry about looking crazy. The first time I started saying no people thought I was mad as well! Keep it up!
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