Skittles12 Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 Hey So after almost a year, me and my ex got talking again. Things were going good, it was like we were almost back together, and I think given a bit more time we could have. However, before we broke up, in a fit of anxiety induced rage, after a massive fight, I accidentally trashed his laptop & camera and hid it from him until it all came crashing out last night... Needless to say he's livid and called me a ''psychotic bitch''. The relationship had it's problems, he was quite emotionally abusive due to depression, and he took it out on me quite a lot so I guess I just snapped... What do I do? HELP!
CarrieT Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 Offer a heartfelt apology and make an arrangement to repay him the loss of the computer and camera.
Author Skittles12 Posted May 13, 2015 Author Posted May 13, 2015 Yea, I've done both of those, but do you recon it's a bad enough thing to do that you can't forgive someone?
Author Skittles12 Posted May 13, 2015 Author Posted May 13, 2015 I'm sorting out a payment plan and will pay him in installments over the next 3 months unless I can get a loan of the cash today
darkbloom Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 Hey So after almost a year, me and my ex got talking again. Things were going good, it was like we were almost back together, and I think given a bit more time we could have. However, before we broke up, in a fit of anxiety induced rage, after a massive fight, I accidentally trashed his laptop & camera and hid it from him until it all came crashing out last night... Needless to say he's livid and called me a ''psychotic bitch''. The relationship had it's problems, he was quite emotionally abusive due to depression, and he took it out on me quite a lot so I guess I just snapped... What do I do? HELP! See bolded. That's not going to change unless he seeks help for it. Emotional abuse is not okay. Neither is damaging his property. There are boundaries that you both crossed. What's going to make this any different the second time around? 2
Author Skittles12 Posted May 13, 2015 Author Posted May 13, 2015 He's in therapy trying to sort his depression out. I know I crossed boundaries, I'm not proud of it... and now I'm dealing with the repercussions and will be down $800 dollars and won't be able to fly home for Christmas (I'm in Asia, he's at home). It was me snapping after nearly 7/8 months of emotional abuse, I held it all in out of fear and then one day I just snapped... I couldn't take it anymore
darkbloom Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 He's in therapy trying to sort his depression out. I know I crossed boundaries, I'm not proud of it... and now I'm dealing with the repercussions and will be down $800 dollars and won't be able to fly home for Christmas (I'm in Asia, he's at home). It was me snapping after nearly 7/8 months of emotional abuse, I held it all in out of fear and then one day I just snapped... I couldn't take it anymore You lived in fear for almost 8 months. Why would you want to voluntarily go back to that?
Author Skittles12 Posted May 13, 2015 Author Posted May 13, 2015 You lived in fear for almost 8 months. Why would you want to voluntarily go back to that? Because he seems to be trying to change and sort himself out, plus, he gets me, I miss him a lot and I know he does(or well did until I did that) love me. It's a complicated situation, but it feels like I've screwed up so badly
darkbloom Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 Because he seems to be trying to change and sort himself out, plus, he gets me, I miss him a lot and I know he does(or well did until I did that) love me. It's a complicated situation, but it feels like I've screwed up so badly Beware of them 'seemingly changed.' He has to be completely changed and commited to not behaving like that anymore for this to work. Missing him doesn't necessarily mean that it's good for him to be in your life. He abused you for months until you snapped. And then he made you feel bad. That is still emotional abuse. 1
Author Skittles12 Posted May 13, 2015 Author Posted May 13, 2015 Beware of them 'seemingly changed.' He has to be completely changed and commited to not behaving like that anymore for this to work. Missing him doesn't necessarily mean that it's good for him to be in your life. He abused you for months until you snapped. And then he made you feel bad. That is still emotional abuse. He says he's trying, but it's hard. He's very negative, doesn't take much responsibility for things, I told a few other people, they all understand why I snapped. It still doesn't justify it though, and doesn't justify why I'm feeling like hell for something I did when I literally went into this almost hallucinating rage and in any sane state wouldn't do.
Ruby65 Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 He says he's trying, but it's hard. He's very negative, doesn't take much responsibility for things, What a prize. Sweetie, it sounds like you both push each others buttons and as a result your relationship isn't healthy for either one of you. Someone much wiser than myself once said: "Men are like shoes. You take them as is." The truth is, you can't hope or wait for someone to change. Your ex is who he is. He's likely always going to have anger/abuse issues in relation to you. The problem isn't depression.... it's abuse and this is something that takes a lot of work to change. There's always the danger it will continue to escalate and you two will trigger physical violence in each other. Not good. You don't want to hear it, but the best thing for you is to find someone you're more compatible with.
Simon Phoenix Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 Because he seems to be trying to change and sort himself out, plus, he gets me, I miss him a lot and I know he does(or well did until I did that) love me. It's a complicated situation, but it feels like I've screwed up so badly Sounds like there's been a ton of change (smh). Dude, this is pretty much who he is. If you have that little value in yourself to put up with it that's on you, but the fact that you just said that he's "trying to change" when he's been continously emotionally abusive is you trying to live in a world of unicorns and fantasy. But if you want to keep lying to yourself, feel free I guess. But there's no advice that's going to work for you if you can't even acknowledge the reality of your situation.
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