William Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 Personal inquiries not relevant to the topic of phone calls versus text can be conducted in threads on those inquires or via PM. Let's get back to discussing phone calls versus text when dating via OLD. Thanks!
Author Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted May 13, 2015 Author Posted May 13, 2015 (edited) Calling can be awkward sometimes -- Sure, that's why people text instead, they can't handle the conversation and hide behind texting. I have found oftentimes that a person who does everything pretty much through texting, isn't a very good conversationalist in person and don't think on their feet. So, sometimes I had one impression of the person through texting and another when I met them in person. And, yeah, older people prefer calling to texting, especially when they've learned from and seen the fall out from misunderstood texts, things taken out of context and how it is used sometimes to not have to deal with things directly and with all the feelings and inflections that come along with a phone or in-person conversation. I'd much rather see the actual smile on the person's face or hear the excitement in their voice about meeting than a smiley face emoticon. It's more real. I don't think calling translates to in person very well. Sometimes if a person is bad on the phone they're bad in person but not always. For me it's just weird that they aren't in front of me so there's no body language to read, yet you're verbally communicating. Last night I talked to this girl on Match, she seemed pretty eager beforehand and was double texting me at a few points... Phone call went smooth, and ended on a good note. I asked her out for drinks on Monday and she said yes, said I would text her the exact details today.. I texted her a bit ago, just waiting for her to confirm now. Hopefully she won't flake like the last girl did after I texted her details. If this one flakes I'll probably just discontinue calling and go back to texting, I'd rather grab drinks for $15 and find out we're not compatible, than be judged over the phone and not meet at all. EDIT: She just texted back to confirm for next Monday Edited May 13, 2015 by barcode88
gaius Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 Maybe it's just a looks vs a verbal charm thing. If you're exceptionally good looking but suck at conversation it might be better to stick to texting. As once you're there in person your good looks will make your boorish conversation seem interesting to her. And vice versa, if your face looks like it got hit by a train but you can converse with the best of them then warming her up and getting her a little attached via phone so she doesn't run screaming from the restaurant at first sight of you could be wise. Basically it's just better to play to your strong suite, whatever that is. 1
Author Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted May 13, 2015 Author Posted May 13, 2015 Had my 2nd phone call today with the other Match girl who called me back, ugh it could have went a bit better. She did agree to meet up but only said she was free after 8pm Weds/Thurs next week, and we setup plans to meet on Thurs for coffee. Hopefully she doesn't flake on me haha. The phone call started off a bit rocky I wasn't expecting her to call suddenly, but it got a bit better as it went on. I think i'm going to stick to texting though from here out I usually do a lot better on first meets in person than I do on the phone.
katiegrl Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 Had my 2nd phone call today with the other Match girl who called me back, ugh it could have went a bit better. She did agree to meet up but only said she was free after 8pm Weds/Thurs next week, and we setup plans to meet on Thurs for coffee. Hopefully she doesn't flake on me haha. The phone call started off a bit rocky I wasn't expecting her to call suddenly, but it got a bit better as it went on. I think i'm going to stick to texting though from here out I usually do a lot better on first meets in person than I do on the phone. Yeah...best to stick to whatever method works best for YOU. Everyone is different with respect to stuff like this...
MissBee Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 (edited) Ok - So are Phone Calls REALLY that necessary? I've setup dates via texting as the norm pretty much, and I'm hesitant to change that. I did have a 10min phone call with a prospect off Tinder the other night, and it went OK I think, we agreed to meet up on Thursday. I texted her the details afterwards, and she didn't respond to confirm for 24 hours, so I took it as a sign that she lost interest and told her to forget it. She was a little bit flakey/disinterested from the start though. I have one other Girl I'm calling later tonight, and I just got one other number just now and I'm debating whether I want to call or text. I feel like the people who INSIST on calling are generally older (30+), and younger people don't mind texting (some prefer it, including women). Is it really that important to Call vs Text? I feel like Calling can be awkward sometimes, whereas texting is more controlled and fun, and as long as you're good at conveying emotion in your texts, it can work out well. Personally I feel like I'm much better In-Person than on the phone. I'm under 30 and prefer calls to establish rapport before I meet up with anyone from online. I find it makes the meeting much less awkward and also lets me decide if I even want to meet if I can hear your voice, see how we talk in real time, hear your tone of voice etc. The last I met up with a guy without a phone call he ended up being a whack job and guaranteed a phone conversation would have revealed it. Whereas with text he managed to make himself seem normal. You can play it by what the woman in question prefers. For me, even on my profile I make it known I'm not the incessant texting type if we don't know each other and I prefer a good old fashioned phone call to talk to you and see how we jive voice to voice before we meet up. After that you can text as much as you'd like but I feel like a phone call is another screening process, as shoot, you could still be pretending to be someone else via only text . I also find setting up phone dates feels more reliable and concrete than text, as I know in the past I've spent time worrying about if someone got my text or not or were they just being flaky and all that can be avoided by calling and speaking about what you plan to do and where and even calling to confirm the day of versus texts. For me, I just take a man more seriously when he calls personally and find that text, while it can be serious, I often associate more with people who are messing around as it's a lazier form of communication than a call where you need to take time out to focus on the person. Edited May 13, 2015 by MissBee
neowulf Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 I like to call first, mainly for a couple of reasons; 1) Do I like her voice? Or does it grate on me? 2) How does she speak? You can tell a lot about a persons education / background by the vocabulary they use and the way they structure their sentences. 3) Can they hold a conversation? In realtime? Can they think of their feet? Text gives people a lot of time to think about their response, pose things in the best light possible. Speaking in real time, means people are more likely to slip, more likely to let their guard down and give you a better impresson of who they are. 4) Vocal tone You can get a vibe from a person by listening to them. Do they speak in a clipped fashion? Do they speak fast or slowly? Are they actively listening? Or just waiting for you to stop talking. I've used the above to filter out women who I just *knew* I wouldn't click with. One woman old me to "chill the *** out" during our first phone call, because I was speaking a little quickly. She also dropped a couple of C bombs during the conversation. It was enough to tell me she'd be a poor match for me. 1
Breezee Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 setting a date thru text always seemed lame to me. i always asked a girl out in person or called them. This is so true. My son's friend texted a girl to ask her out to the prom and she texted him back with "no". Talk about a poor way to invite a girl to the prom, yikes!
Author Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted May 14, 2015 Author Posted May 14, 2015 This is so true. My son's friend texted a girl to ask her out to the prom and she texted him back with "no". Talk about a poor way to invite a girl to the prom, yikes! Yeah well that's mostly because everyone expects Prom? to be some sort of grand gesture more or less. I feel like on OLD where you haven't met the person ever before, it's a bit more appropriate.
Author Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted May 14, 2015 Author Posted May 14, 2015 This girl I'm going out with next Monday has texted me 3 days in a row now asking how my day is going. Lol - talk about needy! She's pretty cute though so we'll see how it goes. Anyone have advice for dealing with a needy texter?
katiegrl Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 This girl I'm going out with next Monday has texted me 3 days in a row now asking how my day is going. Lol - talk about needy! She's pretty cute though so we'll see how it goes. Anyone have advice for dealing with a needy texter? "It's going great...super busy...chat later!" 1
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