Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted May 12, 2015 Posted May 12, 2015 Ok - So are Phone Calls REALLY that necessary? I've setup dates via texting as the norm pretty much, and I'm hesitant to change that. I did have a 10min phone call with a prospect off Tinder the other night, and it went OK I think, we agreed to meet up on Thursday. I texted her the details afterwards, and she didn't respond to confirm for 24 hours, so I took it as a sign that she lost interest and told her to forget it. She was a little bit flakey/disinterested from the start though. I have one other Girl I'm calling later tonight, and I just got one other number just now and I'm debating whether I want to call or text. I feel like the people who INSIST on calling are generally older (30+), and younger people don't mind texting (some prefer it, including women). Is it really that important to Call vs Text? I feel like Calling can be awkward sometimes, whereas texting is more controlled and fun, and as long as you're good at conveying emotion in your texts, it can work out well. Personally I feel like I'm much better In-Person than on the phone.
fitnessfan365 Posted May 12, 2015 Posted May 12, 2015 It's funny. I had what was probably the best first date of my life last night. Yet we exchanged three emails a piece and five texts a piece all yesterday morning over a span of 45 minutes. Then to end the text convo I asked her out for last night. Normally I would never do a spur of the moment same day date. Especially by text. However, it was a rare case in which I could tell we just clicked. I even kiss greeted her when she first walked up and then a few minutes later she asked me for another one. Most of the time though I prefer a call. Mainly for time management. If a ten minute call sucks, then I don't have to waste 1-2 hours on a crappy date. Texting can usually be deceptive in a lot of cases since people have a tendency to act different in person via text.
Author Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted May 12, 2015 Author Posted May 12, 2015 It's funny. I had what was probably the best first date of my life last night. Yet we exchanged three emails a piece and five texts a piece all yesterday morning over a span of 45 minutes. Then to end the text convo I asked her out for last night. Normally I would never do a spur of the moment same day date. Especially by text. However, it was a rare case in which I could tell we just clicked. I even kiss greeted her when she first walked up and then a few minutes later she asked me for another one. Most of the time though I prefer a call. Mainly for time management. If a ten minute call sucks, then I don't have to waste 1-2 hours on a crappy date. Texting can usually be deceptive in a lot of cases since people have a tendency to act different in person via text. Phone calls just feel awkward for me sometimes, and even if I go into a phone call strong, I get a feel it can be awkward for them too. I do try keep then fun short and brief. I'd just rather keep myself from judging someone too much until I meet them in person, I feel like a phone call is a terrible way to gauge someone's personality. With texting you can respond when you feel like it, and keep it fun. As long as you are competent at texting (proper use of punctuation and emojis), you can convey emotion too.
Gaeta Posted May 12, 2015 Posted May 12, 2015 I don't need a phone call before a meeting. I have had plenty of first meeting there had been arranged by text. Once we met though, if you like me, and you want to get my interest, you better call once in a while. Talking to me on the phone will create a rapport and familiarity much faster than by text.
fitnessfan365 Posted May 12, 2015 Posted May 12, 2015 Phone calls just feel awkward for me sometimes, and even if I go into a phone call strong, I get a feel it can be awkward for them too. I do try keep then fun short and brief. I'd just rather keep myself from judging someone too much until I meet them in person, I feel like a phone call is a terrible way to gauge someone's personality. With texting you can respond when you feel like it, and keep it fun. As long as you are competent at texting (proper use of punctuation and emojis), you can convey emotion too. That's true. My date last night was a perfect example of how text can carry over well in person. But even the most shy, socially awkward person ever can act confident hiding behind texting. You'd think that if a person can stay relaxed and in the moment on the phone, they're more likely to have good social skills face to face, A lot of times people use texting because they're afraid/nervous to talk on the phone.
gaius Posted May 12, 2015 Posted May 12, 2015 I know this comparison isn't going to go over well =/ but women are like dogs in a way. Most of the time they feed off your energy, so if you're nervous and awkward on the phone they'll be too. You just have to figure out a way to project the kind that makes them comfortable and turns them on. I'm so good on the phone I can usually have a girl almost ready for sex by the time we meet. If not outright ready. 1
Gaeta Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 I know this comparison isn't going to go over well =/ but women are like dogs in a way. Most of the time they feed off your energy, so if you're nervous and awkward on the phone they'll be too. You just have to figure out a way to project the kind that makes them comfortable and turns them on. I'm so good on the phone I can usually have a girl almost ready for sex by the time we meet. If not outright ready. *rolling my eyes* comparing us to dogs. Women can have conversations without feeding off of your energy. Anyone of you can call me right now and I will entertain you for 1 hour over the phone no problems. I'm a chatter. If you're not a chatter it's no big deal, I'll chat and you listen. I am not going to comment on your 'ready for sex' not worth it. 3
PogoStick Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 I feel if a girl sets up a date over the phone that it's more reliable than via text. When words come out of her mouth discussing the date, setting it up, etc, it means more. I think a woman would feel less inclined to flake on a verbal commitment. 1
writergal Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 Ok - So are Phone Calls REALLY that necessary? I've setup dates via texting as the norm pretty much, and I'm hesitant to change that. Yes and no. Yes if that is your preference. No if that is not your preference. If she asks you to call her, then do that. Otherwise, if you prefer to text then text.
fitnessfan365 Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 I feel if a girl sets up a date over the phone that it's more reliable than via text. When words come out of her mouth discussing the date, setting it up, etc, it means more. I think a woman would feel less inclined to flake on a verbal commitment. Good post and I definitely agree. I've always preferred the phone. However, even when I'd try to set up a call time via text, I'd still end up having to leave a voice mail. Then she texts back. So you make plans via text, and this lead to flaking on occasion. However, now when I get a woman on the phone the same day I get her number and we make plans over the phone, I haven't had a flake out since.
PogoStick Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 Yes I often don't get an answer if I randomly call. Usually works better to send a text "Hey do you have a minute to talk?" or "Can I call you tonight to figure out our plans?" Then I'll get an answer like "I get off work at 7 so you can call after that". As a bonus, that may even give her something to look forward to and be excited for 7pm to roll around. Keep in mind, women LIKE to talk. I'm surrounded by 30 of them everyday and they never STFU Even in the bathroom I can hear them, "yada yada" they never stop! I'm constantly reminded of our differences.
Gary S Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 barcode... sure, I've set dates by text before, but I find it's easier to negotiate a date over the phone.... plus, it's a better form of communication - you get voice inflection and background sounds which can help you weed out non-desirables. But you have pretty good game so I'd say if the texting works well for you, stick with it.
Echo74 Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 Most of the time though I prefer a call. Mainly for time management. If a ten minute call sucks, then I don't have to waste 1-2 hours on a crappy date. Texting can usually be deceptive in a lot of cases since people have a tendency to act different in person via text. Agree with this ^^^ I'm one of those older people the OP mentioned. While I realize that the younger generation prefers texting because that's what most of them have grown up with, texting is not really a conversation. A conversation is spoken not typed. I don't mind texting to some extent but if a man wanted to go out with me, speaking with him beforehand would be required. I would not agree to meet some stranger to whom I've never spoken. I would not be able to get a "feel" for a person though texting. The written word can certainly skew the perception of someone's personality. This is why people can get offended with something another poster writes. You don't get the tempo, sound and inflections of how a person is saying what they type.
Author Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted May 13, 2015 Author Posted May 13, 2015 (edited) I feel like a phone call doesn't really tell you about someone better than a text though. Some people can be awkward on a phone call but socially normal in person... I don't know. I just prefer texting I guess. However - I did call one of my Match girls tonight, and it went pretty well, think I still had a buzz from Bar Trivia though lol. We chatted for 7 minutes and agreed to meetup for a drink next Monday... We'll see if she follows through This girl in question though was a terrible texter - very short responses and didn't ask questions... However today she seemed a bit eager and was double texting me.... On the phone she sounded a bit shy, but she's very cute and seems to keep pretty busy. Edited May 13, 2015 by barcode88
mongo Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 setting a date thru text always seemed lame to me. i always asked a girl out in person or called them.
Bobbi7 Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 I prefer a phone call. At least 5 minutes tops just to see if its a man or woman I'm talking to especially when it comes on online dating. But heck, you never if if its a man or woman until you meet them in person. But I prefer phone calls though. 1
joseb Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 But heck, you never if if its a man or woman until you meet them in person. In south east asia, you still might not know
fitnessfan365 Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 However - I did call one of my Match girls tonight, . Haha.. It's awesome you have a cadre of them. I used Match for awhile but finally got sick of paying money with free sites out there. I've been getting a lot of numbers on OKC. But a large percentage of OLD multi-dating is failed first dates. Not because they're bad people. It's just that true genuine chemistry is harder to find. Let's say I average 15-20 first dates in a month. Usually only 3-5 of those are second dates. Then the majority of those fall by the wayside after 3-5 dates. So the odds of meeting a woman I genuinely want to see longer and have sex with is much harder. That's why all the first dates take a toll on you after awhile. It's like landing job interview after job interview and never getting hired..LOL
katiegrl Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 (edited) Haha.. It's awesome you have a cadre of them. I used Match for awhile but finally got sick of paying money with free sites out there. I've been getting a lot of numbers on OKC. But a large percentage of OLD multi-dating is failed first dates. Not because they're bad people. It's just that true genuine chemistry is harder to find. Let's say I average 15-20 first dates in a month. Usually only 3-5 of those are second dates. Then the majority of those fall by the wayside after 3-5 dates. So the odds of meeting a woman I genuinely want to see longer and have sex with is much harder. That's why all the first dates take a toll on you after awhile. It's like landing job interview after job interview and never getting hired..LOL Genuine chemistry is harder to find with chicks from OKC than from Match? Fabulous that you get more numbers, but if all or most of your first dates rarely if ever lead to anything substantive, why continue using OKC? Assuming that what you are looking for is actually something substantive. And not just collecting numbers. What about the girl you had that awesome spontaneous date with Sunday? Given how over the moon you appeared to be about her a few days ago, I am surprised we haven't heard anything further from you. Have you been texting/talking? Keeping the connection alive until your next date? Are you even seeking a LTR? Was *she* from OKC? Your posts confuse me sometimes. tbh. Edited May 13, 2015 by katiegrl
Author Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted May 13, 2015 Author Posted May 13, 2015 In my experience the quality (and level of seriousness) from girls on OLD goes on a scale as such: MATCH >>>>>OKC>>>>>>>POF>>>>>TINDER Haha.. It's awesome you have a cadre of them. Not really. I've been getting a lot of flakes lately compared to before, so it'll all balance out.
Gary S Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 Most first dates won't lead to a second, that's normal. Think about it... if you keep getting dates with a woman, that usually means you are in a relationship. Dating is finding a needle in a haystack.
katiegrl Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 Genuine chemistry is harder to find with chicks from OKC than from Match? Fabulous that you get more numbers, but if all or most of your first dates rarely if ever lead to anything substantive, why continue using OKC? Assuming that what you are looking for is actually something substantive. And not just collecting numbers. What about the girl you had that awesome spontaneous date with Sunday? Given how over the moon you appeared to be about her a few days ago, I am surprised we haven't heard anything further from you. Have you been texting/talking? Keeping the connection alive until your next date? Are you even seeking a LTR? Was *she* from OKC? Your posts confuse me sometimes. tbh. Still waiting for response to this ^^^ both paragraphs. .......:bunny:
Redhead14 Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 Ok - So are Phone Calls REALLY that necessary? I've setup dates via texting as the norm pretty much, and I'm hesitant to change that. I did have a 10min phone call with a prospect off Tinder the other night, and it went OK I think, we agreed to meet up on Thursday. I texted her the details afterwards, and she didn't respond to confirm for 24 hours, so I took it as a sign that she lost interest and told her to forget it. She was a little bit flakey/disinterested from the start though. I have one other Girl I'm calling later tonight, and I just got one other number just now and I'm debating whether I want to call or text. I feel like the people who INSIST on calling are generally older (30+), and younger people don't mind texting (some prefer it, including women). Is it really that important to Call vs Text? I feel like Calling can be awkward sometimes, whereas texting is more controlled and fun, and as long as you're good at conveying emotion in your texts, it can work out well. Personally I feel like I'm much better In-Person than on the phone. Calling can be awkward sometimes -- Sure, that's why people text instead, they can't handle the conversation and hide behind texting. I have found oftentimes that a person who does everything pretty much through texting, isn't a very good conversationalist in person and don't think on their feet. So, sometimes I had one impression of the person through texting and another when I met them in person. And, yeah, older people prefer calling to texting, especially when they've learned from and seen the fall out from misunderstood texts, things taken out of context and how it is used sometimes to not have to deal with things directly and with all the feelings and inflections that come along with a phone or in-person conversation. I'd much rather see the actual smile on the person's face or hear the excitement in their voice about meeting than a smiley face emoticon. It's more real. 2
fitnessfan365 Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 Genuine chemistry is harder to find with chicks from OKC than from Match? Fabulous that you get more numbers, but if all or most of your first dates rarely if ever lead to anything substantive, why continue using OKC? Assuming that what you are looking for is actually something substantive. And not just collecting numbers. What about the girl you had that awesome spontaneous date with Sunday? Given how over the moon you appeared to be about her a few days ago, I am surprised we haven't heard anything further from you. Have you been texting/talking? Keeping the connection alive until your next date? Are you even seeking a LTR? Was *she* from OKC? Your posts confuse me sometimes. tbh. Hmm.. Didn't have a date on Sun. There was the one on Thurs (Ms T-Shirt). The date was awesome and great kiss close. We both said how much we liked kissing each other and agreed we wanted to see each other again. Shot her a follow up text the next morning. She responded saying she had a good time too. I sent one and she sent one. Then I said 'It was great how the date flowed. Plus your lips have been on my mind". No response at all for the whole day. Then no response the next day going into the early evening. But I didn't let it faze me. Called her before I headed out for my mom's birthday dinner and left a voice mail. That was back on Sat and never got a call back. Now if both people comment on how much they liked kissing each other on the date, I think mentioning it in hindsight the next day is fine. But for whatever reason that completely changed her opinion of me. So I let that go. Then I had the date with the sexy British woman on Fri night with bowling. She's the one who insisted on opening her own doors and wanted to pay her half. Despite the fact that we had tons in common and really good flirty rapport all night, she quickly initiated a hug at the end of the night. Then when I said "We should do this again" she said "Definitely.. I'll be in touch". My instincts told me she wasn't interested, but I sent a follow up text the next morning. She never responded. So I let that go. But even though I had a lot of fun on those two dates, the one that rocked my world was Monday night. I gave her a quick call last night to go over specifics for the next date. Just hearing her voice again was amazing.
katiegrl Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 Hmm.. Didn't have a date on Sun. There was the one on Thurs (Ms T-Shirt). The date was awesome and great kiss close. We both said how much we liked kissing each other and agreed we wanted to see each other again. Shot her a follow up text the next morning. She responded saying she had a good time too. I sent one and she sent one. Then I said 'It was great how the date flowed. Plus your lips have been on my mind". No response at all for the whole day. Then no response the next day going into the early evening. But I didn't let it faze me. Called her before I headed out for my mom's birthday dinner and left a voice mail. That was back on Sat and never got a call back. Now if both people comment on how much they liked kissing each other on the date, I think mentioning it in hindsight the next day is fine. But for whatever reason that completely changed her opinion of me. So I let that go. Then I had the date with the sexy British woman on Fri night with bowling. She's the one who insisted on opening her own doors and wanted to pay her half. Despite the fact that we had tons in common and really good flirty rapport all night, she quickly initiated a hug at the end of the night. Then when I said "We should do this again" she said "Definitely.. I'll be in touch". My instincts told me she wasn't interested, but I sent a follow up text the next morning. She never responded. So I let that go. But even though I had a lot of fun on those two dates, the one that rocked my world was Monday night. I gave her a quick call last night to go over specifics for the next date. Just hearing her voice again was amazing. Yeah I was talking about the one on Monday.... Something still sounds a bit off about many of your posts (including this one especially last paragraph)... but that's just my spidey senses..I'll let it go.
Recommended Posts