stopping Posted May 12, 2015 Posted May 12, 2015 Dumpee and Dupee all in one... I fell for a clever ruse. The ex got a hold of me and said the right things about getting back together and started talking marriage. I bit. A good three weeks or so then the dumper behavior started seeping in. When she said she needed a break, I knew it was all a ruse to keep me on the back burner until she found someone that interested her or she didnt feel lonely...or another reason. So I went No contact and it is day two. The problem has been an email that I have had for over a decade. I had to keep it and could filter it but it would go to trash...I just wanted blanket delete but I knew that checking the trash was an option and caught myself doing it. In short...I left a life line and wanted to beat myself up over her emailing me or not emailing me. Finally figured out a way to have the emails forwarded to another site in which the filter option just blocks the sender. Freedom!!!! A big reason why NC hurts so much is that we hedge in our dedication... I have eliminated that and am better for it 1
Ruby65 Posted May 12, 2015 Posted May 12, 2015 Good for you! It's true that blocking the dumper's ability to make contact is a HUGE step forward in healing. For me, I didn't really start to heal until I had changed my phone number. Until I took that last step, I was still hoping for contact and jumping every time I got a call or text. 2
towch Posted May 12, 2015 Posted May 12, 2015 Good for you! It's true that blocking the dumper's ability to make contact is a HUGE step forward in healing. For me, I didn't really start to heal until I had changed my phone number. Until I took that last step, I was still hoping for contact and jumping every time I got a call or text. God i need this strength. The mind is a tricky tool. I know what i need to do but i keep convincing myself that i don't need to. I mind works in mysterious ways, unlike most other people if i saw on facebook or she told me she had a boyfriend i would instantly be over her. I don't know this so i am stuck hoping that she is holding out because of me because i know she doesn't lack for male attention. She could also be lying and still be with the guy she cheated on me with. But i believe NC is the solution one way i heal another she sees what she lost. I am and will not be like the other guys in her life that kept chasing her and being friends. 2
na49 Posted May 12, 2015 Posted May 12, 2015 I can relate on blocking everywhere possible, but I am only able to filter her emails to the Trash folder. I check it every day (I just checked before logging on ) I know I shouldn't want to hear from her, and she has a boyfriend, so why would she email me anyway? I've been NC for about a month now, but it really sucks not being able to put a wall up to keep emails out.
Author stopping Posted May 12, 2015 Author Posted May 12, 2015 I can relate on blocking everywhere possible, but I am only able to filter her emails to the Trash folder. I check it every day (I just checked before logging on ) I know I shouldn't want to hear from her, and she has a boyfriend, so why would she email me anyway? I've been NC for about a month now, but it really sucks not being able to put a wall up to keep emails out. This was my exact problem...the filter would only send it to the trash. I needed the email for some other business. here is what you do 1. Open up email @outlook.com 2. gmail allows you to forward the email to outlook.com 3. outlook.com has a block sender in the options that does just that...it allows nothing to get through by them to your email...not a sniff. I did this and now just check outlook for my emails. The temptation to check the trash in the original email account has gone greatly down. You can add a desktop client like outlook or thunderbird. There is a setting under server options in which you can empty trash when you close it. If I feel the urge to check trash, I open the client, update, and then immdeiately closed. Trash is empty. It is elaborate but every little hurdle you put in the way will make it much easier on yourself with NC I hope this helps 1
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