Guy87 Posted May 12, 2015 Posted May 12, 2015 Like a fool, I got involved with a woman that doesn't deserve to be trusted. I'm in the military. Her ex is in a different branch than me, and the guy she's been cheating on me with is also in another branch. I almost married and almost had a child with someone who never loved me to begin with. I just found out today by accident. Her new guy didn't hide the evidence. She didn't deny it or admit it, but she didn't hesitate to attack me saying that I'm a lesser man because I have ptsd and made fun of the stress I have from almost dying on multiple occasions. I'm not perfect, but I'm not a horrible person either. I've been getting help for it. Hell, she encouraged me to get help and I listened. I confided in her and all I asked was for her to love me and I would have given her everything I could. She decided it was a better idea to reject and betray me in the exact way she was betrayed by her ex. People like her disgrace themselves with total disregard for those they hurt. I've lost the ability to trust people or to let anyone close to me. It's my fault that allowed myself to let my guard down. I thought I had met the one, I thought that my life of loneliness and knowing only fear was something I could put behind me. Now I can see that's all I'll know. I hate her. How are people able to be so immoral and yet show no remorse? I refuse to let anyone so close to me again. Loneliness isn't going to be forced upon me, it's going to be my choice.
loveiswar101 Posted May 12, 2015 Posted May 12, 2015 Hi M8, reading above it really seems you have dodged a bullet like many of us have. We all at some point may think their the one. I believe like you quote, not perfect but we are good people. If we are what we quote we deserve better and this means without people who deceive us and think grass is greener. Let them go ! I'm opposite, loneliness has been forced on me, yours is your choice. But let hope for both of us that it's not forever. Go No Contact for yourself and avoid all contact reminders of her you can. Be strong. Best wishes.
casey.lives Posted May 12, 2015 Posted May 12, 2015 feeling "bad" is a luxury neither the receiver nor the giver can afford. looking back into other old deadpast lives is a commonly advised against.
Author Guy87 Posted May 12, 2015 Author Posted May 12, 2015 I have no choice now but to not contact her. The thoughts I want to say to her and shove in her face are almost overwhelming. Unfortunately, doing so would hurt my career because she immediately went crying to her friend and threatened to use the final argument against me. Yet shoving it in her face was the only way I could get some answers. She wouldn't even tell me that she wasn't pregnant if I didn't verbally provoke her into spilling the truth. But then again, how do I even believe that's true? For all I know she could be and I'd have a child out there that I would never know about. I hope that's not the case because I couldn't handle the aftermath of the legal process that would ensue. I refuse to ever put myself in such a precarious position again. I'm getting a dog, at least if you treat them right they won't betray you. When I'm done with my enlistment, I'm moving somewhere where I can have serenity.
GoBlue Posted May 12, 2015 Posted May 12, 2015 I am very sorry for your pain and I wish I could snap my fingers and erase it - all of it. I appreciate your service to this great country and encourage you to continue getting the help you need with the PTSD. Do not allow this situation to send you down a road that will not help you in the long-run. People are, well, people. All of us are capable of doing very selfish things that hurt others. There are plenty of others in your life, however, that have shown that they are trustworthy. So, there is hope and there is a future where true love can be found. Be encouraged and be thankful. Breaking up before marriage is much better than going through a divorce. Be the noble man that you are and pursue your own healing and wholeness because that is what you deserve. My thoughts and prayers are with you - there is a Heavenly Father who loves you unconditionally! I encourage you to look to Him. Feel free to send me a private message if you want to learn more. 1
Author Guy87 Posted May 13, 2015 Author Posted May 13, 2015 Thank you for the support. I pawned the rings and voided the unused marriage certificate today. Once last bit of humiliation, the pawn shop was almost as horrible as my family friends and coworkers knowing what happened. I can't go through this again and refuse to leave myself vulnerable to something like this in the future.
David87 Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 Keep your head up friend and dont let small people like this get to you.
No Limit Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 Someone who calls another less-valueable as a human being for PTSD can't be emotionally and mentally developed enough to even know what remorse is. Nonetheless you had a lot of luck, because you write "almost" towards both having kids and marriage. It's better to find out now rather than later.
sandylee1 Posted May 13, 2015 Posted May 13, 2015 In years to come, you'll be so glad you never married her. You deserve better than a cheating wife and you should know that not ALL women are like that. For her to mock you over the PTSD shows how horrible she really is. Good riddance. Block her and don't look back.
Author Guy87 Posted May 13, 2015 Author Posted May 13, 2015 I'm normally not a lucky guy. Most of the ridiculously stupid events that can occur in life tend to happen to me. I can say at least half of it is my fault. People say that this isn't my fault, but I made certain choices. I was ready to be married to her and start a family. With all that's happened, I almost ruined the rest of my life. I'm not sure I can take that chance again. My life isn't easy to acclimate to and women who are insensitive to the dangers I face and the aftermath I have to endure are women I want nothing to do with. With today's society, I feel like 95% of women possess this quality.
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