caringsister Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 I am writing this in hopes of helping my brother get a clearer perspective on the situation. I plan to show him this thread so your advise, thoughts, suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Okay so my brother met a girl at his place of employment. They liked each other and she told him she that though her ex was still residing at her apartment ... the relationship was over. (apparently this guy cheated on her and treated her badly. She has known the guy since high school and was with him for 4 or 5 years. She just didn't have the heart to kick him out because he has no place to go. The relationship apparently was over before she broke up with him, but they had only officially been done for two weeks before she started dating my brother. My brother is a nice guy, very caring and is good to her. Of course he isn't comfortable with the ex still living with her, but she has given the guy two months to move out. Okay so a week or so after she started dating my brother she had him come over to her place and he stayed the night. He ex was upset of course and he was trying to talk to her and get her away from my brother. The guy is in tears crying, spying on them and won't stop being a pest. My brother really likes this girl and she has told him all kinds of terrible things her ex has done so in a way my brother feels like he is protecting her from this guy. So from time to time my brother stays the night at her place. The same story over and over the guy keeps crying, drinking and trying to poison her mind against my brother. Saying my brother doesn't really care about her and that he is using her blah blah blah. There is a lot of alcohol involved with the girl and her ex. My brother works out and is a body builder so he doesn't drink often. She will get mad for various reasons and walk out of the apartment and go walking down the street drunk and tells my brother not to follow her with a catch 22. If he doesn't follow her that means he doesn't care about her and if he does follow her she wants her space. One time she left and he had no idea where she went cause he is not familiar with the area she lives in so he walked in the direction where 7-11 was and figuring she might have gone to get beer, but she had gone the other direction and got all over his case because he went the wrong way. He said we'll I don't know this area and I figured you might have gone in the directions where there is light and she threw in his face that her ex would have known which way she went. She is always jealous of other girls. He works the register at a grocery store and she is a PIC so if she sees a pretty girl going to his line she reroutes her to another line. If a pretty girl happens to get past her and is in his line she will go stand behind the checkout and watch the girl to see if she is looking at him. She constantly is trying to make him jealous or telling him to prove he cares about her. He says if I didn't care about you I wouldn't be here and put up with all this stuff and she basically says that is not a good enough answer and that her ex proves he cares about her. My brother says if you want me to get all psycho and act like him its not going to happen because I'm not that guy. There are times she will say how much she hates her ex and wants him out, but she has now started to say she is confused and still has feelings for him. She also told my brother she is late on her period and got a pregnancy test. This happened after she was supposedly a week late. She told him she wanted to wait to take the test because the longer you wait the more the hormones build up and make for a more accurate test. At this point she is ten days late. He keeps asking her when she is going to take the test and she says she is scared to take it and says even when she takes it she is not going to tell him the results. Which makes no sense. He wants her to take it so if she is pregnant she needs to stop drinking. I think she is telling him she might be pregnant to keep him on the hook while she figures out whether she wants him or her ex. She tells my brother that him and her are on a break, but that he is hers. I think she just wants to keep stringing him along like her personal play toy. My brother is starting to see that when she talks to her ex if he says something she doesn't like she will go to my brother and start kissing on him to spite her ex. She has no regard for any ones feelings except her own. This is so toxic and my brother is such a good guy all I see is she is going to end up hurting him. I know he cares for her, but this girl is messed up.
LostOnes05 Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 This is simple bro. Tell him to get as far away as possible from her. If he hasn't seen it yet, tell him to watch a few episodes of SNAPPED. He'll get the message. Seriously, he should break it off. It sounds like a disaster in the making and someone may get hurt and not just emotionally. Wish him the best! 1
Author caringsister Posted May 12, 2015 Author Posted May 12, 2015 Thank you for your response. I am hoping a few more people will chime in here I want him to see from an outside prospective so he knows it isn't just his family being over protective
La.Primavera Posted May 12, 2015 Posted May 12, 2015 This behavior is ridiculous. So much drama, immaturity and game playing. He is wasting his time with this girl. The situation is toxic. If he sticks around he is a fool.
Author caringsister Posted May 12, 2015 Author Posted May 12, 2015 Thank you. I agree it is very toxic. I believe she likes the drama and chaos. I think he is hoping against all hope that she will show him a different side of herself, but honestly she is showing him her true self. She is only 22 but that is no excuse for her behavior. Immature, toxic, self centered and a bit mental she is if you ask me
joseb Posted May 12, 2015 Posted May 12, 2015 Yeah this is a crazy situation. He needs to get himself out of it. Hopefully you are right about the pregenancy, and she is just trying to manipulate him with a false pregnancy (I'm guessing you are right). "She is always jealous of other girls. He works the register at a grocery store and she is a PIC so if she sees a pretty girl going to his line she reroutes her to another line. If a pretty girl happens to get past her and is in his line she will go stand behind the checkout and watch the girl to see if she is looking at him. " This is so obviously ridiculous. She's crazy. "She constantly is trying to make him jealous or telling him to prove he cares about her. He says if I didn't care about you I wouldn't be here and put up with all this stuff and she basically says that is not a good enough answer and that her ex proves he cares about her." Yeah just tell her great, go back to her ex. It's obvious she still wants him, and is using your brother to make the ex jealous. She really is a piece of work.
preraph Posted May 12, 2015 Posted May 12, 2015 At best, she and her ex are extremely codependent, and just look how toxic they are for each other! He still wants to own her and apparently she wants him to or he wouldn't still be there. If a person wants to leave someone, they leave them. It is just that simple. She likes a lot of chaos, and you better clear out before she really does trap you into pregnancy. And if she is, have the court make her take a dna test. And WHAT are you doing have unprotected sex with that psycho??? Shame on you. 1
Author caringsister Posted May 12, 2015 Author Posted May 12, 2015 Last night they were watching American Horror Story and it was about a psycho stalker and she told my brother that she really likes the guy in the show. She told him not because of his looks, but because of the way he shows the girl how much he cares for her. The guy acts all psycho toward the girl he loves and that's why she digs him .... As for the pregnancy thing she is supposed to be on the pill... :/
LostOnes05 Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 Oh by the way, my apologies for calling you bro. "Sometimes I don't read good" but you seem like a caring sister. Again, she sounds like a bad news bear... 1
Author caringsister Posted May 15, 2015 Author Posted May 15, 2015 Oh by the way, my apologies for calling you bro. "Sometimes I don't read good" but you seem like a caring sister. Again, she sounds like a bad news bear... No worries. I figured it was an oversight Indeed she is bad news. 1
phineas Posted May 15, 2015 Posted May 15, 2015 So, the best your brother can do is a chick still living with her ex? And a crazy one at that. Yes sex with the cray cray is good I don't know why but every time I swizzled my stick in the crazy cocktail it was like a vice. Its so tempting to stick with it until they call the cops on you for rape or some other crap when their pissed at you for not averting your eyes when at the register and the checkout girl smiles at you. 1
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