Mallie Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 I met a guy through a friend of mine, and the 3 of us hung around each other a few times but never just me and him. He kept bugging me to hang out just the 2 of us, I wasn't sure I was interested and my friend didn't like the idea. I finally gave in and we were going to hang out, but on the day of he totally ignored my text and we obviously didn't hang out. I still haven't heard from him and it has been a few days. I am just so confused! What is the point? What did he get out of this? We are grown up, there is no need for games!!!
central Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 By the time you agreed he'd lost interest as he can probably tell you're not that into him.
katiegrl Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 I met a guy through a friend of mine, and the 3 of us hung around each other a few times but never just me and him. He kept bugging me to hang out just the 2 of us, I wasn't sure I was interested and my friend didn't like the idea. I finally gave in and we were going to hang out, but on the day of he totally ignored my text and we obviously didn't hang out. I still haven't heard from him and it has been a few days. I am just so confused! What is the point? What did he get out of this? We are grown up, there is no need for games!!! Why didn't your friend like the idea? Maybe SHE likes him! I'm serious. Why else would she not like the idea? Perhaps, upon learning that you were going out one-on-one, your "friend" said something to him that caused him to change his mind. Like you weren't really that into him or something.. The whole thing sound really bizarre. How good of a friend is she anyway?
Redhead14 Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 I met a guy through a friend of mine, and the 3 of us hung around each other a few times but never just me and him. He kept bugging me to hang out just the 2 of us, I wasn't sure I was interested and my friend didn't like the idea. I finally gave in and we were going to hang out, but on the day of he totally ignored my text and we obviously didn't hang out. I still haven't heard from him and it has been a few days. I am just so confused! What is the point? What did he get out of this? We are grown up, there is no need for games!!! This is the reason texting shouldn't be used to make dates or arrangements. He asked you to get together. You should have called him and had a conversation with him about the date. 1
katiegrl Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 This is the reason texting shouldn't be used to make dates or arrangements. He asked you to get together. You should have called him and had a conversation with him about the date. Why should *she* have called him? Why is calling him *her* job? HE asked her out. HE should have followed up with HER, not the other way around... Yet *she* was the one to follow up ...and *he* blew her off. This is in NO way the OP's fault in any way shape or form ... so to suggest SHE should have *called* him is missing the mark. In this day and age, texting is fine. What's important is that one or both follows up, which again she did. And he blew her off... I still think her friend was involved somehow.. 1
Author Mallie Posted May 11, 2015 Author Posted May 11, 2015 It is fine if he lost interest, but why make plans and not even cancel with me? I think maybe my friend does like him even though she denies it. The weird thing is she wanted to originally set us up. If I had called him, he probably would have just ignored my call anyways so it makes no difference. I agree, the whole thing makes no sense. Maybe he just likes the chase. Well, if I do hear from him again, he can have that chase because I am not given in again. 1
katiegrl Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 It is fine if he lost interest, but why make plans and not even cancel with me? I think maybe my friend does like him even though she denies it. The weird thing is she wanted to originally set us up. If I had called him, he probably would have just ignored my call anyways so it makes no difference. I agree, the whole thing makes no sense. Maybe he just likes the chase. Well, if I do hear from him again, he can have that chase because I am not given in again. Mallie you did not doing anything wrong...by not *calling* him. You are right, he would have ignored it anyway, just like he ignored your text. He blew you off ...which was a douchebag move. Chalk it up and move on, which you are doing, so good for you! 1
Redhead14 Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 Why should *she* have called him? Why is calling him *her* job? HE asked her out. HE should have followed up with HER, not the other way around... Yet *she* was the one to follow up ...and *he* blew her off. This is in NO way the OP's fault in any way shape or form ... so to suggest SHE should have *called* him is missing the mark. In this day and age, texting is fine. What's important is that one or both follows up, which again she did. And he blew her off... I still think her friend was involved somehow.. Normally, I'd agree. But it doesn't sound like any of this was handled effectively. She wasn't that interested in him originally anyway. He knew that. She changed her mind and came around to him. So I get that he probably just didn't feel enough from her. Wishy washiness is what kills things sometimes before it even starts. If a man wasn't too interested in me and changed his mind, I would need to see some real effort to demonstrate that he was serious. She was rowing that boat.
katiegrl Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 (edited) Normally, I'd agree. But it doesn't sound like any of this was handled effectively. She wasn't that interested in him originally anyway. He knew that. She changed her mind and came around to him. So I get that he probably just didn't feel enough from her. Wishy washiness is what kills things sometimes before it even starts. If a man wasn't too interested in me and changed his mind, I would need to see some real effort to demonstrate that he was serious. She was rowing that boat. She agreed to go out with him ... AND followed up with him. So she followed up via text, so what? She followed up which indicates interest on her part. What did he need a notarized affidavit confirming her interest? Your issue with her seems to be she chose to follow up via text rather than a phone call. I am sorry Redhead, I usually agree with you, but this makes no sense. Many people prefer texting these days especially when it involves simply confirming a date. Which she did, to which HE blew off. She did nothing wrong... Edited May 11, 2015 by katiegrl
katiegrl Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 She agreed to go out with him ... AND followed up with him. So she followed up via text, so what? She followed up which indicates interest on her part. What did he need a notarized affidavit confirming her interest? Your issue with her seems to be she chose to follow up via text rather than a phone call. I am sorry Redhead, I usually agree with you, but this makes no sense. Many people prefer texting these days especially when it involves simply confirming a date. Which she did, to which HE blew off. She did nothing wrong... RH, Imagine this scenario. You've been crushing on a guy for awhile, flirting, signalling him to ask you out. He doesn't appear to be interested. You finally get the nerve to ask him out....he says yes!!!! You make a date! Yay. On the day of ... HE texts you to confirm the date...obviously he's interested. But nah, you've lost interest. Why? He should have called to confirm instead of text. So you decide to not respond to his confirmation text and completely blow him and the date off. Does this make sense?
Redhead14 Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 She agreed to go out with him ... AND followed up with him. So she followed up via text, so what? She followed up which indicates interest on her part. What did he need a notarized affidavit confirming her interest? Your issue with her seems to be she chose to follow up via text rather than a phone call. I am sorry Redhead, I usually agree with you, but this makes no sense. Many people prefer texting these days especially when it involves simply confirming a date. Which she did, to which HE blew off. She did nothing wrong... I'm not saying she did anything wrong. She just may not have done it right. Yes, lots of people prefer texting, but that doesn't make it effective. She's trying to figure out why he blew her off. Apart from the fact that ignoring her follow up was rude, she's left wondering. But, if she had simply called him she would have known what was what instead of now guessing and wondering, etc.
katiegrl Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 (edited) I'm not saying she did anything wrong. She just may not have done it right. Yes, lots of people prefer texting, but that doesn't make it effective. She's trying to figure out why he blew her off. Apart from the fact that ignoring her follow up was rude, she's left wondering. But, if she had simply called him she would have known what was what instead of now guessing and wondering, etc. No because the most likely scenario would have been, he would not have answered, leaving her to either just hang up or leave a message, which would likely go ignored just like her text went ignored... Red, when a man asks a woman out, doesn't follow up, ignores HER attempts to follow up, and blows her off, with no explanation as to why, it's a futile waste of time and energy seeking answers. He is rude, disrespectful, and not interested. The last thing she should do is start chasing him, as calling him seeking an answer would indicate. Him blowing her off IS her answer...he is rude and not interested. Why he suddenly lost interest is anyone's guess, but who cares. Next. I would think you would agree with this, but apparently not, which is fine. Agree to disagree? :) Edited May 11, 2015 by katiegrl 1
Redhead14 Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 No because the most likely scenario would have been, he would not have answered, leaving her to either just hang up or leave a message, which would likely go ignored just like her text went ignored... Red, when a man asks a woman out, doesn't follow up, ignores HER attempts to follow up, and blows her off, with no explanation as to why, it's a futile waste of time and energy seeking answers. He is rude, disrespectful, and not interested. The last thing she should do is start chasing him, as calling him seeking an answer would indicate. Him blowing her off IS her answer...he is rude and not interested. Why he suddenly lost interest is anyone's guess, but who cares. Next. I would think you would agree with this, but apparently not, which is fine. Agree to disagree? :) We do agree in substance He lost interest and it is a waste of time and energy to worry or think about these kinds of things. They know some of the same people, she will likely hear something at some point anyway maybe.
Author Mallie Posted May 11, 2015 Author Posted May 11, 2015 Thanks for standing up for my so much katiegrl:) He knew I was interested and he also knew I wasn't originally sure because things were weird with our friend. It is fine if he lost interest, it is not the problem here. The problem here is why wasn't he man enough to tell me that instead of blowing me off and not even having the decency to make up an excuse at least! Also it show how little he cares about our friend because he was willing to screw up their friendship for someone that obviously didn't matter enough to even bother contacting.
d0nnivain Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 You two didn't have concrete plans. You were going to "hang out". That is not a date, imo. Yes it would have been better had he been more straightforward & said I can't hang out today but the whole thing was too casual from the outset.
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