Josh1974 Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 There are two woman that I have been seeing at the same time recently. I got caught up. The first I have seen twice for an hour or so since I started talking to her two weeks ago. We have been talking on the phone frequently and texting. She's nice but doesn't want to rush. What has been bothering me is she lives two miles away from me. There have been many nights where I sit here doing nothing important and think to myself "Why aren't we having these two hour conversations in person?" Tonight I say "hey, we could see each other right now for about an hour". She tells me apparently I don't know how to go slow and it has only been a month since she has been removed from a four year deal. However, she claims to be over it. And of course, she has no problem telling me about all of the goofy messages she gets on the dating site. So we like each other, text and talk all day but hardly see each other when I could practically jump from my house to hers. Two hours ago, I told her let's just be friends. I get a "Whatever, we're friends then". I saw the attitude and said "Sorry but I'm done." However, the second girl. Started talking to her shortly after the first. Saw her last night for about three hours. Saw her the day before for over two. Instant attraction and already much in common. She doesn't drink, go out with a bunch of friends and wants to take me to dinner tomorrow. I told her "No, you're not paying." I got a "Yes, I am." She makes constant efforts to see me. I don't even have to try. Oh, and she also lives about two miles away. You can't make this up. She even made plans with me on Thursday too. She has been single since October after a two year deal. It's a no-brainer, right? I had to choose because I started feeling like I was living this double life. But I feel bad. The first has been nice to me but I had to cut her off. I just didn't feel like she really wanted to see me that much or was excited. I wasn't trying to rush, just questioned why it would be such a big deal to hang on those nights I was free by taking a walk or whatever. She spent all that time talking to me on the phone and texting. She wanted to get to know me better that way I guess. The second girl is the complete opposite because she spends more time actually being around me. And she is freaking gorgeous. Still, I feel bad. Like I did something wrong by telling the first that I was done about two hours ago. I mean, she works close, lives close but acts as if I live 100 miles away. I had to make a choice. I think I would have felt much worse if I picked her over the second though. I swear that is the last time I date two people at once.
Author Josh1974 Posted May 11, 2015 Author Posted May 11, 2015 Now that I'm thinking about it...I made the choice that suited me. I shouldn't feel bad.
umirano Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 No, you really shouldn't feel bad. Who has time for non-committal /sociophobic fools?
Author Josh1974 Posted May 11, 2015 Author Posted May 11, 2015 No, you really shouldn't feel bad. Who has time for non-committal /sociophobic fools? I don't see her in such a negative light. She's cool. Just not for me. 1
Redhead14 Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 There are two woman that I have been seeing at the same time recently. I got caught up. The first I have seen twice for an hour or so since I started talking to her two weeks ago. We have been talking on the phone frequently and texting. She's nice but doesn't want to rush. What has been bothering me is she lives two miles away from me. There have been many nights where I sit here doing nothing important and think to myself "Why aren't we having these two hour conversations in person?" Tonight I say "hey, we could see each other right now for about an hour". She tells me apparently I don't know how to go slow and it has only been a month since she has been removed from a four year deal. However, she claims to be over it. And of course, she has no problem telling me about all of the goofy messages she gets on the dating site. So we like each other, text and talk all day but hardly see each other when I could practically jump from my house to hers. Two hours ago, I told her let's just be friends. I get a "Whatever, we're friends then". I saw the attitude and said "Sorry but I'm done." However, the second girl. Started talking to her shortly after the first. Saw her last night for about three hours. Saw her the day before for over two. Instant attraction and already much in common. She doesn't drink, go out with a bunch of friends and wants to take me to dinner tomorrow. I told her "No, you're not paying." I got a "Yes, I am." She makes constant efforts to see me. I don't even have to try. Oh, and she also lives about two miles away. You can't make this up. She even made plans with me on Thursday too. She has been single since October after a two year deal. It's a no-brainer, right? I had to choose because I started feeling like I was living this double life. But I feel bad. The first has been nice to me but I had to cut her off. I just didn't feel like she really wanted to see me that much or was excited. I wasn't trying to rush, just questioned why it would be such a big deal to hang on those nights I was free by taking a walk or whatever. She spent all that time talking to me on the phone and texting. She wanted to get to know me better that way I guess. The second girl is the complete opposite because she spends more time actually being around me. And she is freaking gorgeous. Still, I feel bad. Like I did something wrong by telling the first that I was done about two hours ago. I mean, she works close, lives close but acts as if I live 100 miles away. I had to make a choice. I think I would have felt much worse if I picked her over the second though. I swear that is the last time I date two people at once. You weren't dating either of these two women yet. There was no double life. The first girl wasn't coming around the way you hoped and opted to stop pursuing her. Nothing wrong with that.
umirano Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 I don't see her in such a negative light. She's cool. Just not for me. I'm a devout polemicist.
neowulf Posted May 12, 2015 Posted May 12, 2015 I think it's just part and parcel of the multi-dating experience. You have to be willing to commit to the idea "Until we're in a relationship, this really is just us hanging out having fun". Personally, the line for me is becoming sexual with a person. That doesn't have to mean "relationship", but it does spell "exclusivity" to me. I don't fool around with multiple women at once. Everything up to that though? Yeah, we're not committed and if people get their feelings hurt.. well, you can't be accountable for how people react to these things. So long as you've been honest and up front about it, what more can you do.
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