SunnySide0418 Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 I have been talking to a guy from online dating for a couple months and we finally met. First meet was very brief for coffee and second meet was at a park for about an hour on a beautiful day. We both only had a short time so it was perfect. The thing is he only communicates via text. I don't mind touching base via text but I don't prefer making plans via text. He asked me out for this week via text which included coordinating schedules and such due to work and kids. My question is.. is it too soon for me to tell him I prefer to make plans via phone? My plan is to see how it goes after this next date but I find it frustrating. I am 44 not 24 and somewhat old fashioned. Thoughts?
Popsicle Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 I have been talking to a guy from online dating for a couple months and we finally met. First meet was very brief for coffee and second meet was at a park for about an hour on a beautiful day. We both only had a short time so it was perfect. The thing is he only communicates via text. I don't mind touching base via text but I don't prefer making plans via text. He asked me out for this week via text which included coordinating schedules and such due to work and kids. My question is.. is it too soon for me to tell him I prefer to make plans via phone? My plan is to see how it goes after this next date but I find it frustrating. I am 44 not 24 and somewhat old fashioned. Thoughts? Go ahead and tell him. 1
fitnessfan365 Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 Two months is a lot of time to invest on a perfect stranger you've never spent any time with in my opinion. I mean imagine you invest all the time, get super invested, etc and it just falls flat in person. Two months of your life you can never get back. But these days some people just don't like to talk on the phone. I personally won't even meet a woman in my person without talking to her on the phone first. However, in the end it all comes down to communication. So if you'd rather make plans by phone, then tell him so. 1
mammasita Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 Bring up your preference during your next date. Some people, like myself (39), prefer texting....he may be that person too. If you continue with him you'll have to find a happy medium with the way you communicate.
lemoncello Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 Ask him to compromise by calling you if you dislike all the texting. Calling vs. texting is a preference. Let him know what your preference is. I see no problem because you're both adults.
beach Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 Have you checked to see if he's married? Why hasn't he taken you out on a formal date yet? A few months seems like an extended period of time to not be taken out on a nice date. Why isn't he asking you out to dinner? Even more than that - why are you wasting so much time on him when he's not making a lot of effort to take you to dinner, movie, concert etc? 1
Author SunnySide0418 Posted May 11, 2015 Author Posted May 11, 2015 Have you checked to see if he's married? Why hasn't he taken you out on a formal date yet? A few months seems like an extended period of time to not be taken out on a nice date. Why isn't he asking you out to dinner? Even more than that - why are you wasting so much time on him when he's not making a lot of effort to take you to dinner, movie, concert etc? The delay in meeting was because of me. If this upcoming date isn't a "real" date I'm moving on. No time for games like that. I don't even know his last name but will get that info.
Author SunnySide0418 Posted May 11, 2015 Author Posted May 11, 2015 Has he actually asked you out on a formal date? We are going out Weds night but he didn't say where.. Should I ask? I'm kind of new at this after my divorce. He's going to call me tomorrow to discuss in greater detail.
beach Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 Yes, I'd ask - you need an udea if what to wear. But even before this - did he ask you OUT on a date that was planned?
Author SunnySide0418 Posted May 11, 2015 Author Posted May 11, 2015 Yes, I'd ask - you need an udea if what to wear. But even before this - did he ask you OUT on a date that was planned? He asked when I was free to get together this week so no he didn't say he'd like to take me to dinner or anything like that. Suggestions on how to handle this?
beach Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 He asked when I was free to get together this week so no he didn't say he'd like to take me to dinner or anything like that. Suggestions on how to handle this? He asked to get together? Honey, if he's not specifically asking you OUT on a date - you could be meeting at the park again for all you know. Yes, ask him where he's taking you out! If it's not a nice date - then go on to the next guy that's willing to make effort. My gut says he is married.
Author SunnySide0418 Posted May 11, 2015 Author Posted May 11, 2015 He asked to get together? Honey, if he's not specifically asking you OUT on a date - you could be meeting at the park again for all you know. Yes, ask him where he's taking you out! If it's not a nice date - then go on to the next guy that's willing to make effort. My gut says he is married. Give me an example of specifically asking me out for a date.
beach Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 Give me an example of specifically asking me out for a date. I'd like to take you to dinner on Tuesday, are you available? Is he CALLING like you asked? If not, he may be texting because his wife or girlfriend is with him...
Guitarisgood Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 5 seconds is all it takes to shoot a short text 'I'd rather you call me than text'. Is it really that hard?
Redhead14 Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 I have been talking to a guy from online dating for a couple months and we finally met. First meet was very brief for coffee and second meet was at a park for about an hour on a beautiful day. We both only had a short time so it was perfect. The thing is he only communicates via text. I don't mind touching base via text but I don't prefer making plans via text. He asked me out for this week via text which included coordinating schedules and such due to work and kids. My question is.. is it too soon for me to tell him I prefer to make plans via phone? My plan is to see how it goes after this next date but I find it frustrating. I am 44 not 24 and somewhat old fashioned. Thoughts? It is never too soon to establish good communication. If he asks you via text for a date, you call him to accept the date and work out the details. You then just make a general statement about how you prefer phone calls for making arrangements and making sure there is clarity. Just say something like "I prefer phone calls to texts. There is too much opportunity for misunderstandings with texting".
Author SunnySide0418 Posted May 14, 2015 Author Posted May 14, 2015 He asked to get together? Honey, if he's not specifically asking you OUT on a date - you could be meeting at the park again for all you know. Yes, ask him where he's taking you out! If it's not a nice date - then go on to the next guy that's willing to make effort. My gut says he is married. OK, he's not married, he's cheap! We went to a sports bar for dinner, which I'm actually fine with, as I suggested it. The bill came. It was $23. I asked if he wanted money just to see what he's say and he said sure, give me $8. $5 for the tip and he pocketed the rest so he only had to pay $20. I am so turned off... Isn't that tacky??
fitnessfan365 Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 OK, he's not married, he's cheap! We went to a sports bar for dinner, which I'm actually fine with, as I suggested it. The bill came. It was $23. I asked if he wanted money just to see what he's say and he said sure, give me $8. $5 for the tip and he pocketed the rest so he only had to pay $20. I am so turned off... Isn't that tacky?? Hahahaha.. The fact that he was cheap enough to pocket the extra $3 is pretty damn bad. Maybe he wants Lotto Scratcher ticket money, or a few bucks to tip a stripper? Good story for you - Usually I try to plan a bit nicer dinner dates. But I got set up on a blind date this one time. So I decided to play it safe and pick Buca De Beppo. The food is cheap but still relatively good for what it is. My mom insisted I take a coupon for there that said $10 off with a bill of $20 or more. The date wound up being HORRIBLE. So I figured I'd use the coupon. I walk up to the front desk to hand the coupon and get a check printed up including the discount. But little did I know that the tiny fine print said that it was $20 or more without tax. Before tax, our bill was $19.93. So the waitress comes back and announces to the whole restaurant "You can't use this coupon because your bill isn't $20 before tax". Then she lays the coupon down in front of my date. So not only did they not want to cut me a break over .07, but the waitress went out of her way to embarrass me in front of the whole place. I seriously wanted to crawl under the table and die. Hahahaha
Author SunnySide0418 Posted May 14, 2015 Author Posted May 14, 2015 Hahahaha.. The fact that he was cheap enough to pocket the extra $3 is pretty damn bad. Maybe he wants Lotto Scratcher ticket money, or a few bucks to tip a stripper? Good story for you - Usually I try to plan a bit nicer dinner dates. But I got set up on a blind date this one time. So I decided to play it safe and pick Buca De Beppo. The food is cheap but still relatively good for what it is. My mom insisted I take a coupon for there that said $10 off with a bill of $20 or more. The date wound up being HORRIBLE. So I figured I'd use the coupon. I walk up to the front desk to hand the coupon and get a check printed up including the discount. But little did I know that the tiny fine print said that it was $20 or more without tax. Before tax, our bill was $19.93. So the waitress comes back and announces to the whole restaurant "You can't use this coupon because your bill isn't $20 before tax". Then she lays the coupon down in front of my date. So not only did they not want to cut me a break over .07, but the waitress went out of her way to embarrass me in front of the whole place. I seriously wanted to crawl under the table and die. Hahahaha OMG, that's so funny! After last night I am seriously thinking of giving up on dating - so frustrating!
misspond Posted May 14, 2015 Posted May 14, 2015 Don't give up! Chalk it up to experience and see what happens next (as in the next man you meet). I'm a bit older than you and am seriously out of dating practice although have ventured out on a few dates recently; you need to give yourself a break, not accept nonsense and get a thicker skin in order to navigate these choppy seas.
Author SunnySide0418 Posted May 14, 2015 Author Posted May 14, 2015 Yes, I'd ask - you need an udea if what to wear. But even before this - did he ask you OUT on a date that was planned? Nope. The guy turned out to be an idiot.. next
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