Should I break NC if my ex is in an abusive relationship?

[Twigyy]

If you have to be rude for you to stop contacting her I think you should, and I'm sure she will understand. I haven't replied to my ex months ago when she texted me because firstly we were over, and secondly my well being is much more important than hers. Then I realised that I'm the important one in my life, cos I was revolving around her during the relationship, and even after we broke up. So one good tip is that to think more about yourself, and less about her. Post more to get help for you, and try to care less about her. Your ex gave you up, so basically there's nothing to talk about her other than gossiping, which I try to avoid.

 

Edit: Also try to avoid women who can't make proper decisions. They are usually a mess and not easy to handle..

Edited May 11, 2015 by Twigyy

[crimsontactics]

If you have to be rude for you to stop contacting her I think you should, and I'm sure she will understand. I haven't replied to my ex months ago when she texted me because firstly we were over, and secondly my well being is much more important than hers. Then I realised that I'm the important one in my life, cos I was revolving around her during the relationship, and even after we broke up. So one good tip is that to think more about yourself, and less about her. Post more to get help for you, and try to care less about her. Your ex gave you up, so basically there's nothing to talk about her other than gossiping, which I try to avoid.

 

Edit: Also try to avoid women who can't make proper decisions. They are usually a mess and not easy to handle..

 

Thank you for your advice!

[Clarkwg]

My ex called me to go back to her. So we met up. Apparently she is having this big fight with her partner. Then they broke up and I was happy. I just went to comfort her.

 

Then an hour later she went to beg her partner to take her back! In front of me!

Seriously wtf was I doing there?

 

Basically her partner was threatening breakup everyday but she don't want to. Apparently she got some balls last night cause I was around, but she blew it within an hour...

I had a situation where I chased my ex back who had got with a new bloke, she then tells me she has split from him, spends time with me, has me paying for family days out etc, gets intimate with me then 30 mins later she tells me she doesn't know what she wants then gets straight back with him & within two days Is kissing him right in front of me, just yards away knowing I'm stood there watching as I wait for my child outside her house.

 

For me that was a real 'line in the sand' kind of moment where I blocked all contact & promised myself that even if I only ever have 0.00001% self respect for the rest of my life, it will still be enough for me to never ever go near that bitch again.

[crimsontactics]

I had a situation where I chased my ex back who had got with a new bloke, she then tells me she has split from him, spends time with me, has me paying for family days out etc, gets intimate with me then 30 mins later she tells me she doesn't know what she wants then gets straight back with him & within two days Is kissing him right in front of me, just yards away knowing I'm stood there watching as I wait for my child outside her house.

 

For me that was a real 'line in the sand' kind of moment where I blocked all contact & promised myself that even if I only ever have 0.00001% self respect for the rest of my life, it will still be enough for me to never ever go near that bitch again.

 

True! It hurts a lot to me, but it really made me see that the r/s is no longer possible.

[Clarkwg]

True! It hurts a lot to me, but it really made me see that the r/s is no longer possible.

 

Same for me.

It hurt me more than a broken nose would have done but she wouldn't have done that on purpose so what gave her the right to re break my heart on purpose???

At the time I was devistated upon the devistation I was all ready going through but now looking back it was the best thing that could have happened because it triggered something in my head that made me tell myself never again.

If that hadnt happened, I'd probably still be chasing her & being used & abused by her to this very day.

As I type this I'm ok with how things are now whereby she is blocked on all forms apart from she can leave me a voicemail which I will immediately recieve in case of emergence about my daughter. I have in the past being drawn in by her mis leading voicemails & replied to her but it's caused me nothing but stress so iv now learnt never again.

She did actually ring me yesterday from someone else's phone asking me if I would book a midweek day off work so I could look after my child for her whilst she did something else that day, I told her no, said bye & immediately put the phone down.

 

Good luck with what you are going through, iv made so so many mistakes along the way & iv been my own worst enemy at times but I genuinely do feel like I am coming out of the other end of it now. I can't rely on her to respect my situation as there is nothing she would like more than to see me under her spell for the rest of my life but them days are gone.

[crimsontactics]

Same for me.

It hurt me more than a broken nose would have done but she wouldn't have done that on purpose so what gave her the right to re break my heart on purpose???

At the time I was devistated upon the devistation I was all ready going through but now looking back it was the best thing that could have happened because it triggered something in my head that made me tell myself never again.

If that hadnt happened, I'd probably still be chasing her & being used & abused by her to this very day.

As I type this I'm ok with how things are now whereby she is blocked on all forms apart from she can leave me a voicemail which I will immediately recieve in case of emergence about my daughter. I have in the past being drawn in by her mis leading voicemails & replied to her but it's caused me nothing but stress so iv now learnt never again.

She did actually ring me yesterday from someone else's phone asking me if I would book a midweek day off work so I could look after my child for her whilst she did something else that day, I told her no, said bye & immediately put the phone down.

 

Good luck with what you are going through, iv made so so many mistakes along the way & iv been my own worst enemy at times but I genuinely do feel like I am coming out of the other end of it now. I can't rely on her to respect my situation as there is nothing she would like more than to see me under her spell for the rest of my life but them days are gone.

 

I don't understand why some people can't appreciate true love...

[Clarkwg]

I don't understand why some people can't appreciate true love...

 

Grass is always greener maybe???

As for your origional question about an abusive relationship, providing my child didn't witness any of it, I really wouldn't care if my ex was in an abusive relationship.

She has been in an abusive relationship for nearly a decade... Mentally abusing me so I will not be her knight is shining armor if/when it all goes wrong with her new man.

I hate domestic violence & would never ever carry it out under no circumstances but I can honestly see how it can happen with other people & it probably will with her in time.

[crimsontactics]

Grass is always greener maybe???

As for your origional question about an abusive relationship, providing my child didn't witness any of it, I really wouldn't care if my ex was in an abusive relationship.

She has been in an abusive relationship for nearly a decade... Mentally abusing me so I will not be her knight is shining armor if/when it all goes wrong with her new man.

I hate domestic violence & would never ever carry it out under no circumstances but I can honestly see how it can happen with other people & it probably will with her in time.

 

Maybe its gigs....

 

But what she did was really unethical. Showed me what kind of person she really is.

 

Thanks to all your advices, I now can say that its over between us. Thank you!

[crimsontactics]

Same for me.

It hurt me more than a broken nose would have done but she wouldn't have done that on purpose so what gave her the right to re break my heart on purpose???

At the time I was devistated upon the devistation I was all ready going through but now looking back it was the best thing that could have happened because it triggered something in my head that made me tell myself never again.

If that hadnt happened, I'd probably still be chasing her & being used & abused by her to this very day.

As I type this I'm ok with how things are now whereby she is blocked on all forms apart from she can leave me a voicemail which I will immediately recieve in case of emergence about my daughter. I have in the past being drawn in by her mis leading voicemails & replied to her but it's caused me nothing but stress so iv now learnt never again.

She did actually ring me yesterday from someone else's phone asking me if I would book a midweek day off work so I could look after my child for her whilst she did something else that day, I told her no, said bye & immediately put the phone down.

 

Good luck with what you are going through, iv made so so many mistakes along the way & iv been my own worst enemy at times but I genuinely do feel like I am coming out of the other end of it now. I can't rely on her to respect my situation as there is nothing she would like more than to see me under her spell for the rest of my life but them days are gone.

 

Thank you!