Is the Minimum Looks Threshold for Men Higher than Ever Before?

[spinaroonie]

In order to attract a woman you must satisfy her minimum looks threshold.

 

In Second and Third World countries, men can use money and status to compensate for looks. Since these women are poorer and dependent on men for resources, the minimum looks threshold is quite low.

 

In the Anglosphere, young women earn more than men and have a social safety net. Consequently, women are increasingly selecting men less on their resource provisioning abilities and more on the basis of their looks. And technology has compounded this trend.

 

I first started online dating in 2009. Back then, I'd get numbers and dates with young women using cornball pickup lines, and you could get girls to engage you with witty messages. Pics weren't a dealbreaker. Women from POF would text me constantly and blow up my phone even before meeting them. Second and third dates were easy to get. There was far less flaking and fading.

 

Today, the advice given to men for online dating is vastly different. Less emphasis on message content, more emphasis on pictures. Pics are everything. If she doesn't like your pictures, she won't write you back.

 

How did things change so quickly?

 

In 2009, most women didn't have smartphones. In 2015 every girl does.

 

In 2009, there were fewer good looking men doing online dating due to stigma. Now a lot of good looking men are online.

 

In 2009, the "numbers game" trope wasn't pervasive. In 2015, more men today are spamming and playing the numbers game.

 

In 2009, social media was still in its infancy. Facebook was just opened to the masses and Instagram didn't exist. In 2015, women have become more looks-driven due to the explosion of visual social media like Facebook and Instagram.

 

In 2009, there was no Tinder and no dating apps giving women instant access to high-caliber guys they never had access to before in their pockets.

 

As a result of this evolution, the minimum looks threshold required for men to attract women has gone way up in the last 5 years. If you don't make the cut in terms of looks, you're not getting with her. And the looks bar has been raised higher than ever.

 

Not only is this true online, it has also translated to all cold approach situations - bars, clubs, and during the day. The only way to transcend this high looks threshold bar is to build familiarity through work, school, niche, mutual friends and social circle.

 

Thoughts?

[guest569]

 

In the Anglosphere, young women earn more than men and have a social safety net.

 

Thoughts?

 

Huhh? Where did you get this idea?

[introverted1]

Well, I can't see you to comment specifically on your looks, but my observation is that most people have a decent foundation for looking good. By this I mean that as long as they maintain a healthy weight, dress reasonably well, maintain good hygiene, keep their hair cut, etc., they can be considered good looking.

 

An awful lot of what makes a person is attractive comes down to grooming and confidence.

[Gaeta]

Good incentive for men to keep in shape.

 

A few years ago I went to my 20 year high school reunion. By that time we were all late 30s. You should have seen the women, wow! majority of women looked exactly like when they were 17!! They had kept in shape and all looked great. Men on the other all had these huge gut on them and were unrecognizable.

 

For years it was expected of women to keep pretty and there were no standards for men!! They could just let go of their looks from early on and no one saw something wrong with it!! Now finally it has changed!! We expect men to keep up with their fitness and grooming.

 

If you feel you don't get attention from women then shape up! We women put ourselves through dieting, running, hair removing, skin care, tanning, to keep your attention, it's time you do a minimum as well.

[Gary S]

So quit complaining and go workout.

[JuneJulySeptember]

In order to attract a woman you must satisfy her minimum looks threshold.

 

In Second and Third World countries, men can use money and status to compensate for looks. Since these women are poorer and dependent on men for resources, the minimum looks threshold is quite low.

 

In the Anglosphere, young women earn more than men and have a social safety net. Consequently, women are increasingly selecting men less on their resource provisioning abilities and more on the basis of their looks. And technology has compounded this trend.

 

I first started online dating in 2009. Back then, I'd get numbers and dates with young women using cornball pickup lines, and you could get girls to engage you with witty messages. Pics weren't a dealbreaker. Women from POF would text me constantly and blow up my phone even before meeting them. Second and third dates were easy to get. There was far less flaking and fading.

 

Today, the advice given to men for online dating is vastly different. Less emphasis on message content, more emphasis on pictures. Pics are everything. If she doesn't like your pictures, she won't write you back.

 

How did things change so quickly?

 

In 2009, most women didn't have smartphones. In 2015 every girl does.

 

In 2009, there were fewer good looking men doing online dating due to stigma. Now a lot of good looking men are online.

 

In 2009, the "numbers game" trope wasn't pervasive. In 2015, more men today are spamming and playing the numbers game.

 

In 2009, social media was still in its infancy. Facebook was just opened to the masses and Instagram didn't exist. In 2015, women have become more looks-driven due to the explosion of visual social media like Facebook and Instagram.

 

In 2009, there was no Tinder and no dating apps giving women instant access to high-caliber guys they never had access to before in their pockets.

 

As a result of this evolution, the minimum looks threshold required for men to attract women has gone way up in the last 5 years. If you don't make the cut in terms of looks, you're not getting with her. And the looks bar has been raised higher than ever.

 

Not only is this true online, it has also translated to all cold approach situations - bars, clubs, and during the day. The only way to transcend this high looks threshold bar is to build familiarity through work, school, niche, mutual friends and social circle.

 

Thoughts?

 

I think it has gone up only because women now make money.

 

So, they don't have to accept a guy who makes money who doesn't look good.

[spinaroonie]

^ Yes. To further formalize: it's the gender imbalance you have in plain old nature, reincarnated in this high-technology form.

 

The new point of balance might well be a bunch of 9-10 guys, each with a harem of 7-10 girls. The girls will be satisfied, because once every 1-2 weeks they get sexed well and hard by an experienced guy they find hot. The guys are obviously satisfied since they get sex with a different cute girl every week. Guys who are 7 or lower get nothing.

 

The main concern is that there will be enough 9-10 looking guys messaging all the 7-10 girls to keep those occupied. In the past, men - especially those with less than 8 looks - relied on the fact that a lot of guys in the 8-10 group didn't approach. But now you send a message online and rely on your pictures to do the rest of the work.

 

The concern is that online is going to negate the ability to boldly approach. It's going to be all about the pictures, and maybe some clever text.

 

That's a legitimate concern, in my opinion.

[fitnessfan365]

Staying in shape takes consistent effort over your whole life. Not everyone has the mindset for it though. It's funny. I was over at the local community center Fri afternoon. I was running the bleachers, doing full push-up burpees, and pull-ups in rotation. It was like 90 degrees out, so I took my shirt off just to get some sun while I was training. There were three lady friends walking around the track chatting and they'd constantly stop and stare me up and down after every lap.

 

After 30 mins of this I actually put my shirt back on because it was making me uncomfortable..LOL So women appreciate a good view as much as men. But I work my ass off to stay in shape. It's not like I pop a magic pill. An hour of intense training burns like 1200 plus calories. I'd also see heavy set guys looking at me shaking their head like I was some crazy idiot for training so hard while they walked slowly around the track. Well buddy that's why you look the way that you do.

[spinaroonie]

Here's the thing though. If the "real world" simulated online dating, no one would get married. Yet in the real world most men and women are in generally looks-matched LTRs or marriages.

 

So what's going on? Do women compartmentalize men? Are men they meet through online, cold approach (whether bar, club or day game) held to a different standard than a guy she meets at school, work or is introduced to through a friend?

[carhill]

Is the Minimum Looks Threshold for Men Higher than Ever Before?

 

In general, people are as selective about all parameters of personal preference as the confluence of their id (self involved want) and success in satisfying the id allow. Hence, as people gain more, they want more, whether that be looks, personality, success, power, whatever. It's perfectly normal human behavior.

 

One can certainly conform to the standards and preferences of others or choose to be outlier. Any choice in life has consequences. This applies to everyone. Where ids and minds meet, potential relationships and partnerships can form. Otherwise, it's solo through the journey we go.

[Bobbi7]

I always thought the ugliest man who is rich can easily get women. Women are always looking for rich men-and even if they are short, bald, old, hairy they will flock to them. Hugh Hefner, that old dude that married Anna Nicole Smith, etc, etc. However, if a women is ugly-no man will want her-even if she was rich-a women's goal is look attractive 24/7 to attract that man that will want to settle down with her.

[guest569]

Think of it this way OP. it's now a level playing field. Put your best foot forward.

 

Plenty of women with a few men on the go.

 

And women earn LESS than men on average.. Worldwide.

[Camaro Guy]

It was my understanding that if you're well groomed and well dressed, you pass the looks threshold for most women.

 

A lot of men have a solid base to work off of.

[calvincline47]

It was my understanding that if you're well groomed and well dressed, you pass the looks threshold for most women.

 

A lot of men have a solid base to work off of.

 

Nah height is more important than any of that stuff. Facial structure is second. Neither of these things can be changed without surgery.

[autumnnight]

Nah height is more important than any of that stuff. Facial structure is second. Neither of these things can be changed without surgery.

 

Actually no. But sticking to this story DOES make it easier to be a victim instead of actually making effort, which seems to be the modern trend.

[123321]

In order to attract a woman you must satisfy her minimum looks threshold.

 

In Second and Third World countries, men can use money and status to compensate for looks. Since these women are poorer and dependent on men for resources, the minimum looks threshold is quite low.

 

 

....

 

 

 

Thoughts?

 

Pure horse crap.

 

Spent much time overseas? Most places I've been it's pretty common for the women to provide for themselves.

[123321]

Actually no. But sticking to this story DOES make it easier to be a victim instead of actually making effort, which seems to be the modern trend.

 

Also, it has to be noted that male whining is SOOOO sexy.

[calvincline47]

In order to attract a woman you must satisfy her minimum looks threshold.

 

In Second and Third World countries, men can use money and status to compensate for looks. Since these women are poorer and dependent on men for resources, the minimum looks threshold is quite low.

 

In the Anglosphere, young women earn more than men and have a social safety net. Consequently, women are increasingly selecting men less on their resource provisioning abilities and more on the basis of their looks. And technology has compounded this trend.

 

I first started online dating in 2009. Back then, I'd get numbers and dates with young women using cornball pickup lines, and you could get girls to engage you with witty messages. Pics weren't a dealbreaker. Women from POF would text me constantly and blow up my phone even before meeting them. Second and third dates were easy to get. There was far less flaking and fading.

 

Today, the advice given to men for online dating is vastly different. Less emphasis on message content, more emphasis on pictures. Pics are everything. If she doesn't like your pictures, she won't write you back.

 

How did things change so quickly?

 

In 2009, most women didn't have smartphones. In 2015 every girl does.

 

In 2009, there were fewer good looking men doing online dating due to stigma. Now a lot of good looking men are online.

 

In 2009, the "numbers game" trope wasn't pervasive. In 2015, more men today are spamming and playing the numbers game.

 

In 2009, social media was still in its infancy. Facebook was just opened to the masses and Instagram didn't exist. In 2015, women have become more looks-driven due to the explosion of visual social media like Facebook and Instagram.

 

In 2009, there was no Tinder and no dating apps giving women instant access to high-caliber guys they never had access to before in their pockets.

 

As a result of this evolution, the minimum looks threshold required for men to attract women has gone way up in the last 5 years. If you don't make the cut in terms of looks, you're not getting with her. And the looks bar has been raised higher than ever.

 

Not only is this true online, it has also translated to all cold approach situations - bars, clubs, and during the day. The only way to transcend this high looks threshold bar is to build familiarity through work, school, niche, mutual friends and social circle.

 

Thoughts?

 

I agree with you.

 

And even if you do meet her looks threshold, she will make you bend over backwards to get her.

 

Here's my plan: Right now, I'm building up my career and will soon move to a big city. I will meet women there and see if I meet their looks standard. If so, I will see if they have the qualities that I'm looking for in a woman and whether or not she meets my specific standards. If she does, then I will put in the work necessary to get her (I have met women like this in the past....they were few and far between, but they exist).

 

If I don't meet a woman that I'm particularly interested in, when I'm 40, I will head to a third world country and marry a younger hottie. My career field will allow me to do this if I so choose.

 

I do think that it is important to eat well and work out. HOWEVER, I do not think that you should do this to attract women or maintain your looks. Poor diet and exercise routines can lead to diabetes, heart disease, and, ultimately, early death.

 

Do it for those reasons, not because you want some old lady to think you look young when you're older.

[autumnnight]

I agree with you.

 

And even if you do meet her looks threshold, she will make you bend over backwards to get her.

 

Here's my plan: Right now, I'm building up my career and will soon move to a big city. I will meet women there and see if I meet their looks standard. If so, I will see if they have the qualities that I'm looking for in a woman and whether or not she meets my specific standards. If she does, then I will put in the work necessary to get her (I have met women like this in the past....they were few and far between, but they exist).

 

If I don't meet a woman that I'm particularly interested in, when I'm 40, I will head to a third world country and marry a younger hottie. My career field will allow me to do this if I so choose.

 

I do think that it is important to eat well and work out. HOWEVER, I do not think that you should do this to attract women or maintain your looks. Poor diet and exercise routines can lead to diabetes, heart disease, and, ultimately, early death.

 

Do it for those reasons, not because you want some old lady to think you look young when you're older.

 

Boy, that 3rd world hottie will sure be a lucky woman....

[ltjg45]

If I don't meet a woman that I'm particularly interested in, when I'm 40, I will head to a third world country and marry a younger hottie. My career field will allow me to do this if I so choose.

 

Why not just do it now?

 

Because I am confident that when you do hit 40, you won't have a large selection of 20 year olds waiting for you when you get there. There is a reason why a lot of older guys who has money has been going back home empty-handed and a LOT less broke than before.

 

This is why if I do go across the water, I am doing it when I am 29-30, not 40+. Even I find that idea stupid and I am in the age range to attract said 20-21 year old right now.

[ltjg45]

Pure horse crap.

 

Spent much time overseas? Most places I've been it's pretty common for the women to provide for themselves.

 

No kidding.

 

In fact, I find out that foreign women is typically farther ahead education-wise on average than American women. I have seen 23-24 year old who is fully done with graduate school. Here in America, you would be ahead of the pack if you got done that quickly.

 

So if you think you can woo a foreign younger lady with money, you are in for an insanely rude awakening.

[calvincline47]

Why not just do it now?

 

Because I am confident that when you do hit 40, you won't have a large selection of 20 year olds waiting for you when you get there. There is a reason why a lot of older guys who has money has been going back home empty-handed and a LOT less broke than before.

 

This is why if I do go across the water, I am doing it when I am 29-30, not 40+. Even I find that idea stupid and I am in the age range to attract said 20-21 year old right now.

 

Have you actually traveled to any of those countries?

 

I have.

 

They are not places you want to live unless you have a solid income coming from somewhere. I won't have that until I establish myself in the international aspect of my career (which I am currently unable to do).

 

Plus, my value is relatively high in the US and I can get attractive women even significantly younger than me (as a 28 year old, it's not uncommon for me to have 18-19 years olds flirting with me). But I prefer in the 23-28 year old range with a good job and no kids.

 

As a 40 year old in a third world country, you will not have much difficulty attracting women in the 25-30 age range (which is what I'll want at that age).

[calvincline47]

Pure horse crap.

 

Spent much time overseas? Most places I've been it's pretty common for the women to provide for themselves.

 

Which countries have you been to?

 

Women in third world countries do tend to provide for themselves, but they also value money and love foreign men. I've also traveled a lot and I know that much for sure (guess how?).

[calvincline47]

No kidding.

 

In fact, I find out that foreign women is typically farther ahead education-wise on average than American women. I have seen 23-24 year old who is fully done with graduate school. Here in America, you would be ahead of the pack if you got done that quickly.

 

So if you think you can woo a foreign younger lady with money, you are in for an insanely rude awakening.

 

For the record, I finished grad school at 25. It's not really that impressive.

 

In any event, I do agree that wooing a foreign lady with money would be very difficult (more so due to the fact that the successful ones tend to marry within their own country at a young age). But, personally, I would be okay with a poor girl with a good work ethic, as long as we could stay in that country (Wouldn't want to bring her back to this country because the likelihood of getting ripped off is high).

[thefooloftheyear]

When a guy gets an idea to start a "woe is me" thread like this, they need to stop and do one thing...

 

Dont post anything and shut off the computer...

 

Go to a place where couples congregate....A shopping mall, a cafe, a park, etc..

 

Take a look at the pairings...

 

The guys aren't all Adonis'....In fact most are just average looking shlubs, with average looking physiques,...see them all in happy relationships with attractive women...Tons of them, actually...

 

Trust me on this...You will find them,,,

 

TFY