chelseamoon Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 Im a girl who was with a girl my ex and still live together since she broke up with me 6 months ago. I was heartbroken. But no matter wat i did she didnt wanna no just didnt fancy me she said. She moved her and her child down stairs and me and my kids had rest of house (kids from prev rel) anyways things got very bad last week and we had such a bad fight as she kept changing stuff without talking to me in my part of the hse. Then became very bitchy, but has been for a while. My friend's tell me i need to kick her out and get over her cus she treats me crap, i know rhis but easier sais than done. I can't shift my feelings as stupid as i am. Plus i love her child and mine growing up together. She hasnt come out of her part of the room in a week as she has all she needs there spare cooker bathroom etc.. But i had to tell her let the child out as was unfair. She leaves door open a lil for child to come out only at certain times. Now a week has past and she only talks me if to do with kids but she looks at me like im scum after 3 years together and no closure. Im always the one to make first effort, i even texted & sais sorry for whatever iv done. She didn't tb. Then this mornin i asked her did she want lift to town with child as was raining she just moody said no and closed her door on my face. I feel im losing it. Should i just completely exnore her ( even if im not that person) i just want her open to me but im sick making all the effort and i dont want to exnore the child. How do i play this pls that she will come running to me and be nicer. Also her birthday is next week, And pls dont say tell her MOVE OUT AS NOT option at mo. Thanks for patiently reading, sorry bad spelling x
badpenny Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 (edited) chelseamoon, virtually every thread you've posted focuses and centres on this female ex of yours, with whom you broke up '6 months ago'. The only way we can help you is by urging you to help yourself, and making you see that you already know what you need to do. But you won't do it. That's the reason you keep posting basically the same situation over and over again. Because you won't do what you need to do; so the problem remains the same..... Edited May 10, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1
Toodaloo Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 Chelsea - lets add up some numbers here. Number of people who advise you to continue as you are = 0 Number of people in both real life and on the internet who have advised you to kick her out and move on = 100's You do the maths. Its time to get on with it. Yes its going to hurt for a while Yes its going to be hard The upshot is that you will give yourself a chance to heal and move on if you take action. If you carry on the way you are... well your going to keep carrying on the way you are. It will get worse and worse and worse. Not better. Get that woman out of your house and your life and move on. Quit dithering and faffing about and grow a pair of balls. 1
katiegrl Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 (edited) I don't believe chelseamoon creates these threads looking for advice. She creates them as a way to talk about, vent, dissect, analyze and essentially keep alive her obsession that should have died and been buried a long time ago. But no one in her real life wants to listen to it (or her) anymore, so she is forced to come to LS, create these threads ...and obsess here....with us. Doing so will only keep her *stuck* and prevent her from moving forward, so I'm not biting... Wish you well though chelseamoon ...I truly hope you can gather the strength one day to do what you KNOW you should do ...what you MUST do .....and find some peace. Edited May 10, 2015 by katiegrl 1
Redhead14 Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 Im a girl who was with a girl my ex and still live together since she broke up with me 6 months ago. I was heartbroken. But no matter wat i did she didnt wanna no just didnt fancy me she said. She moved her and her child down stairs and me and my kids had rest of house (kids from prev rel) anyways things got very bad last week and we had such a bad fight as she kept changing stuff without talking to me in my part of the hse. Then became very bitchy, but has been for a while. My friend's tell me i need to kick her out and get over her cus she treats me crap, i know rhis but easier sais than done. I can't shift my feelings as stupid as i am. Plus i love her child and mine growing up together. She hasnt come out of her part of the room in a week as she has all she needs there spare cooker bathroom etc.. But i had to tell her let the child out as was unfair. She leaves door open a lil for child to come out only at certain times. Now a week has past and she only talks me if to do with kids but she looks at me like im scum after 3 years together and no closure. Im always the one to make first effort, i even texted & sais sorry for whatever iv done. She didn't tb. Then this mornin i asked her did she want lift to town with child as was raining she just moody said no and closed her door on my face. I feel im losing it. Should i just completely exnore her ( even if im not that person) i just want her open to me but im sick making all the effort and i dont want to exnore the child. How do i play this pls that she will come running to me and be nicer. Also her birthday is next week, And pls dont say tell her MOVE OUT AS NOT option at mo. Thanks for patiently reading, sorry bad spelling x Stop thinking about your needs or her needs, there are children involved. They are the number 1 priority here. Why is she unable to move out? If she can't, then you should. She is also abusing her child by not allowing him out of that tight space. This a seriously dysfunctional situation for the children and needs to be addressed immediately. If she gets nicer to you because it's her birthday, she's manipulative on top of being a poor mother. Does she have relatives she can go stay with? Do you? Get proactive about dealing with this. You sound to be a little bit more adult and functioning more on that level, but you need to be even moreso. The time it took you to post this could have been spent on phone calls to sources of support and resolution.
Redhead14 Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 I don't believe chelseamoon creates these threads looking for advice. She creates them as a way to talk about, vent, dissect, analyze and essentially keep alive her obsession that should have died and been buried a long time ago. But no one in her real life wants to listen to it (or her) anymore, so she is forced to come to LS, create these threads ...and obsess here....with us. Doing so will only keep her *stuck* and prevent her from moving forward, so I'm not biting... Wish you well though chelseamoon ...I truly hope you can gather the strength one day to do what you KNOW you should do ...what you MUST do .....and find some peace. Katie, you are spot on. He is obsessing and turning inward and wasting time here instead of being proactive about resolution. You told me yesterday that I am a kind person and I am. I empathize with his plight, but I will not coddle or sugar coat my responses. There are children involved here. Tough love is needed. That is the kindest way to deal with this one.
preraph Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 (edited) Chelsea, you're unable to deal with reality. This will be to the detriment of your child. You are using your child as an excuse to stay in this toxic situation. This situation is the LAST thing your child needs. It's a poisonous atmosphere. You're modeling for your child that chaos is what love means. Since you yourself admit you cannot move on and accept reality, you need to go to a psychologist and get yourself straightened out. It is sick to remain in a situation that is this negative and to think that is your best option. You are irrational. Get professional help for your child's sake. And Chelsea, you put this in the "Dating" thread, which shows how far in denial you are. You are not dating this woman. She won't even speak to you. Edited May 10, 2015 by preraph
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