fitnessfan365 Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 well if she is shy over the phone it's likely she will be shy face to face too. That's the thing though. Since the call was spontaneous, we were able to be in the moment and just talk to each other on the fly. I was able to bring her out of her shell, which I liked and she seemed relaxed when talking to me. So I'll just interact the same way with her in person. We have a lot of stuff in common so I look forward to meeting her.
Timshel Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 Quote in asterik above -- Same for me, but I think what I am getting here is that some people (like loveweary) can feel that same vibe and *chemistry* via text messaging ...and in person. Verbal chat (phone) leaves them feeling flat ....they are unable to respond the same way as they would via the written word .. or in person. It is fascinating really ....how different we all are! Embrace the differences and learn from each other..it's all good.:bunny: I agree. I think that since I'm not doing old, I only am talking to one person who would text during work hours. If I was getting multiple responses from a dating site, I would rather text too. With getting to know one person, it is more intimate on the phone, rather than just touching base with people to line up dates.
Author smg15 Posted May 11, 2015 Author Posted May 11, 2015 It's possible but not a guarantee. I personally do much better face to face than on the phone. Even trying to talk to my own dad on the phone is a struggle. A lot of "Huh?" "What?" For me a lot of how I communicate with others and also how I read others, comes from those little nuances like facial expressions. When someone can't see my face and I can't see theirs, I have to rely solely on my ears and its cutting out a massive part of how I communicate. How did you handle chatting on the phone in 2000?
Phoe Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 It could be the type of girls I usually go out with (have like 100 guys trying to see them all the time), but a big theory of mine is treat them like cats. Any abrupt, sudden movements and they won't come over. Everything should be smooth and very comfortable for them... if not downright enticing. Hah, I actually have described myself as "skittish".... which is definitely a cat-like quality. "Sudden movements" in terms of dating, do alarm me. And indeed, like a cat, I need to be made comfortable before I come close. 3
Phoe Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 How did you handle chatting on the phone in 2000? I didn't. I've never been a phone chatter. All my life I had little interest in the phone. Nevermind that in 2000 I was 11 and was running around outside doing things, lol. 3
fitnessfan365 Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 I didn't. I've never been a phone chatter. All my life I had little interest in the phone. Nevermind that in 2000 I was 11 and was running around outside doing things, lol. Haha.. Good to see you were an active kid. I was the same way. Always outside doing something. Even now, I try to do as many workouts as I can outside.
Author smg15 Posted May 11, 2015 Author Posted May 11, 2015 I didn't. I've never been a phone chatter. All my life I had little interest in the phone. Nevermind that in 2000 I was 11 and was running around outside doing things, lol. Which is what I figured, it seems to be the case for only those born 1987 and after
Author smg15 Posted May 11, 2015 Author Posted May 11, 2015 Haha.. Good to see you were an active kid. I was the same way. Always outside doing something. Even now, I try to do as many workouts as I can outside. were you born before 1987?
loveweary11 Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 Which is what I figured, it seems to be the case for only those born 1987 and after Reason #1,000,0000 I relate better to younger women. Don't even have the most basic communication methods in common with my own age group.
fitnessfan365 Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 were you born before 1987? Yep. I was born at the very tail end of 1980 so I am 34. Based on my nutrition, workout habits, and good genetics, people always assume I am 26-27. At one gym where I worked before, they were taking bets on my age. I had to show ID to prove I was in my early 30's..LOL . I always take it as a major compliment though. Plus, when I have dated younger on rare occasions we don't get weird looks which is a good thing..LOL But I've always dated my age or older usually. I'm an old soul and can't relate to younger women. The only one I clicked with was my best ex GF who I was nuts about. She was 24-26 when we were together.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 I was born in 1988 figures why I like texting more. I did ask a girl out on a phonecall tonight though 1
fitnessfan365 Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 I was born in 1988 figures why I like texting more. I did ask a girl out on a phonecall tonight though Awesome! But, dude Sundays in the spring and summer are insane for meeting women on OLD. My phone has been blowing up with emails all day. I actually left my phone in my apartment and went to the Community Center outdoor workout area to train for an hour. Needed a break..LOL I'm guessing because women go out Fri/Sat and are bummed they didn't get approached by the right guy. So Sun is online time. LOL At this point, I am just deleting the majority of them. 1
Auspecial Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 Another example for you. One email a piece today with this gorgeous woman that shares a lot of the same interests as me. Asked for her number and she replied instantly giving it to me. So I called her right there on the spot. She admitted that she's an introvert and a bit shy. But since the call was unplanned, she didn't have time to psych herself out. So the call flowed and she was pleasantly surprised. She also admitted that she's used to tons of texting and emailing before meeting. But she liked my confidence and energy. Have a date with her on Tues night. Outstanding!
joseb Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 It's even more weird to constantly see someone's face when talking to them. So when you talk to people you don't look at their face?
Auspecial Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 what about when you are not working? I pick up the phone calls immediately whenever I can. If I am not working, I can most of the time but I will never apologize for being too busy to pick up phone. This has nothing to do with being available in general.
Author smg15 Posted May 11, 2015 Author Posted May 11, 2015 So when you talk to people you don't look at their face? I'm talking about on the computer screen, that's weird
Auspecial Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 Hah, I actually have described myself as "skittish".... which is definitely a cat-like quality. "Sudden movements" in terms of dating, do alarm me. And indeed, like a cat, I need to be made comfortable before I come close. Phoe, I so much admire and APPLAUD this stance of yours!! Ausp 1
joseb Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 I'm talking about on the computer screen, that's weird I know that's what you meant - hence the wink. But think about it - why is communicating with someone via a technology that shows their face and has their voice more weird that one that just has their voice? I get it - you like phoning. And that's great, if it works for you. Keep doing it. But we are all different and have different preferences. If we were all the same, then the world would be a pretty boring place.
guest569 Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 I stick with going to meet the person. Texting, emailing and talking on the phone are useful in knowing JUST enough about the person to decide whether you are interested in meeting them. But spending too much time on these things can be a waste of time if it doesn't work out in person. 1
katiegrl Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 Reason #1,000,0000 I relate better to younger women. ***Don't even have the most basic communication methods in common with my own age group.** And what age group would that be? 1
CarrieT Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 Ironic that there is an article in the news today about why Millennials don't talk on the phone: Clickety!
loveweary11 Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 And what age group would that be? GenX (more words to satisfy the minimum post size requirements)
fitnessfan365 Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 I don't like talking on the phone with strangers. When I used to online date guys often wanted to call me, but I told them honestly that I am not comfortable having a phone conversation with someone I've never met. I usually also don't give someone my number before the first meeting, but prefer to converse via the dating website. After I've met someone I am happy to talk on the phone, but for some reason it makes me uncomfortable before we met in person. It is like it drives home the 'fakeness' of online dating to me. Like you are trying to pretend to have a connection with someone you've never met. While if it is in written form it does not seem so obvious to me. Just my 2 cents. In the end it is what works for you. So I am not trying to judge. Just being honest when I say this seems really weird to me. But where I can see your POV is : 1) A lot of people like to blab on and on and on when it comes to phone calls. No one likes to be on the phone forever. Especially with a complete stranger. So I get that. 2) I can also see the benefit to a stranger not having your number. If the meet sucks, then they have no way to phone stalk you. In my case though, I do one short ten minute intro phone call. To see if I like talking to her on a basic level and enjoy her voice/laugh, That's it. If the call sucks, then I don't have to waste 1-2 hours on a crappy date. I had one call somewhat recently where all she did was say "Yep" or follow with dead silence. So I got off the phone. From a time management aspect, that's why phone first is good IMO. Also, texts and voice mails are easy to delete if you get some stalker that doesn't take rejection well. 1
loveweary11 Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 Ironic that there is an article in the news today about why Millennials don't talk on the phone: Clickety! This advice is about business. Business calls are simple because everyone is acting. I'm acting, the other person is acting, we grab buzzwords and try to sound knowledgeable. We have a work related back and forth that nearly mirrors a written business correspondence and can draw from a pretty standard playbook. Ever wonder why companies FLY their top sales people in to close huge deals? It's because the phone doesn't allow someone to pick up on the tiniest nuances necessary to make a crucial sale. I know from experience. The first push I took away from science/tech was doing international sales for a tech company. They flew me in to help our distributiors in Europe and the Middle East (and Australia a few times) close deals. I'd pop in and drop millions in revenue onto our balance sheet by doing what can only be done with the necessary visual cues. Making progress with a woman you're interested in is exactly the same. You're running blind, literally and figuratively, using a simple audio stream (a very low fidelity one at that) to communicate. Might as well use smoke signals or morse code. Not much better. Of course, this is my opinion only, as a visual communication type. Others are auditory, others sensory. You can tell someone's communication type from their word usage sometimes. "That sounds good to me" "I see what you mean" "I feel good about this" " 2
katiegrl Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 This advice is about business. Business calls are simple because everyone is acting. I'm acting, the other person is acting, we grab buzzwords and try to sound knowledgeable. We have a work related back and forth that nearly mirrors a written business correspondence and can draw from a pretty standard playbook. Ever wonder why companies FLY their top sales people in to close huge deals? It's because the phone doesn't allow someone to pick up on the tiniest nuances necessary to make a crucial sale. I know from experience. The first push I took away from science/tech was doing international sales for a tech company. They flew me in to help our distributiors in Europe and the Middle East (and Australia a few times) close deals. I'd pop in and drop millions in revenue onto our balance sheet by doing what can only be done with the necessary visual cues. Making progress with a woman you're interested in is exactly the same. You're running blind, literally and figuratively, using a simple audio stream (a very low fidelity one at that) to communicate. Might as well use smoke signals or morse code. Not much better. Of course, this is my opinion only, as a visual communication type. Others are auditory, others sensory. You can tell someone's communication type from their word usage sometimes. ****** "That sounds good to me" "I see what you mean" "I feel good about this" ****** " LW, once again so interesting! I rarely if ever say "I see what you mean," I am more of a "sounds good to me!" type of girl, which makes sense since I am more auditory than visual. I also might say "I feel good about that" maybe not those exact words, but words to that effect...
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