Erik30 Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 Last year I was dating a girl for a couple of months until she suddenly ended it. I thought everything was going fine, but it turned out she was also dating some other guy and picked him over me. We never talked about being exclusive, so I don't blame her, but I was still suprised because I'm new to dating and was a bit naive about it at the time. We were always pretty intimate and talked about everything, so the thought of her dating others never even crossed my mind. About two and a half months ago we got back in touch, and talked about us dating again. She said she would like that. (she's single again, the relationship with the other guy only lasted a couple of weeks) The only problem now is, that I can't seem to set a date. I've asked her three times, each with a couple of weeks in between, and every time she gave me an excuse that she's busy working and will have to see when she's available. She recently dropped out of college and started to work fulltime so she probably has a lot on her mind, but I have this gut feeling that she may have changed her mind and is affraid to tell me. I know it kind off sounds like low interest, or else she would make it work some how. She also got out of a serious relationship a couple of months before I met her, I think they were even planning to get married. After the last time I asked her to hang out, I just said to her to call me when she does have time. My '"plan" was to give her some space, and leave it up to her if she wants to meet up. I'm not going to wait for her, and I'm not going to contact or ask her out again. I think I left the ball in her court, and I've been trying to do NC for the past few weeks. Now, after having some time to think about it, I'm not sure if I would even want to be with someone who once dumped me for someone else, even though I do still like her. Does anyone have some insight on this? Or has anyone tried dating someone again who had left them for another guy/girl? Thanks
Price2Play Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 Yeah it sounds like she's just seeking validation and attention from you. The other guy might have seen redflags he didn't like and dumped her? You've asked 3 times, sorry man she's not interested. I ask once and if they are busy that's fine but if she has true interest she would make a counter offer. Believe me when I say this, actions speak louder than words! I would say move on, why get involved when possibly a month or 2 down the road she pulls the same thing? NEVER GO BACK.....move on man.
Author Erik30 Posted May 10, 2015 Author Posted May 10, 2015 That's what I figured, but I thought it was different with her since we openly talked about it. Usually when I ask a girl out, I'll assume it a "no" if she says anything but "yes," and doesn't make a counter offer. I think I got confused because she said she wanted to go on a date, but the problems started when I tried to make definate plans. I guess I don't get why she talked about us dating again, when she could ignore me or just say that she didn't want to. I even made it easy for her to straight up reject me, in case she just wanted to be friends or something. I told her I would be fine with that. This was all over text, so it's not like she was put on the spot. But anyway you're right, I'm not going to contact her again.
Toodaloo Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 Why are you bothering? You were second fiddle back then and she is playing you as second fiddle now! Grow a pair and just get rid of her. She is just using you. Go out and be someones first fiddle... Now I have written that it sounds weird but I am sure you get the point.
Art_Critic Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 I'm not going to contact her again. Yeah.. don't give her any more of your time.. She contacted you for validation, something to remember is that she most likely contacted others as well.. maybe the silence is her opening up an old dating relationship with some other guy.. it sounds like that could be a possibility given her past with you. Unless she goes all in with you I would ignore any contact.. you are on her list so she will pull you back up again when she needs that ego boost while she looks for the one.
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