lizzy12 Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 First date- spent 4 hours in a restaurant with guy. No touching happened. Just talking. Second date- spent 4 hours chatting in a restaurant and then went to have dessert for another 2 hours. Got a hug from him at the end. Third date- spent 2 hours in a restaurant and then spent 5 hours in another restaurant having drinks. He didn't want the date to end and we actually parted ways at 4am!! He touched my hand three times and touched my hair once. Hugged when we parted ways. A week in between each date ( weekends) I believe he likes me otherwise why would he want to stay up until 4 am with me chatting? Do you think he likes me more than a friend? He does text me more an more frequently. How can I get him to make more of a move? Do you think this guys just shy? He is 39 and I'm 29. Thanks!!
SunnySide0418 Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 First date- spent 4 hours in a restaurant with guy. No touching happened. Just talking. Second date- spent 4 hours chatting in a restaurant and then went to have dessert for another 2 hours. Got a hug from him at the end. Third date- spent 2 hours in a restaurant and then spent 5 hours in another restaurant having drinks. He didn't want the date to end and we actually parted ways at 4am!! He touched my hand three times and touched my hair once. Hugged when we parted ways. A week in between each date ( weekends) I believe he likes me otherwise why would he want to stay up until 4 am with me chatting? Do you think he likes me more than a friend? He does text me more an more frequently. How can I get him to make more of a move? Do you think this guys just shy? He is 39 and I'm 29. Thanks!! Tell or text him that you wanted to kiss him last time you were with him and see what he says. 3
Gary S Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 It's probably a combination of shyness and simply not knowing what to do. Tell or text him that you wanted to kiss him last time you were with him and see what he says. - That could actually work. One thing is for sure, one of you has to go for the first big kiss... that's what takes it to the next stage. 1
Gloria25 Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 Lean in and give him a kiss yourself...Like when he's hugging you, lean in for it and just give him a kiss. And/or, do more physical contact...like put your arm around him, your arm on his leg, get my drift? I can see where he may be trying to be a gentleman and not get too physical, but a hug? I'd expect at least a kiss on the lips - even if its a soft and quick one.
Author lizzy12 Posted May 10, 2015 Author Posted May 10, 2015 That sounds scarily bold!!!! Don't have the courage to text him that. Haven't flirted with him by text or in person.
Gloria25 Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 It's probably a combination of shyness and simply not knowing what to do. Dude is "39" not "19" here... If he doesn't know how to show romantic interest w/o overdoing it, then something's really wrong.
Gloria25 Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 That sounds scarily bold!!!! Don't have the courage to text him that. Haven't flirted with him by text or in person. I don't agree with the texting for a kiss either...I say just do it in person next time you meet ant the opportunity presents itself.
Author lizzy12 Posted May 10, 2015 Author Posted May 10, 2015 It won't be off putting to him to kiss him? Do you think he is definitely interested in me?
Author lizzy12 Posted May 10, 2015 Author Posted May 10, 2015 Dude is "39" not "19" here... If he doesn't know how to show romantic interest w/o overdoing it, then something's really wrong. He's kind of the geeky type... Not sure how much experience with women he's had in the past.
Gloria25 Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 It won't be off putting to him to kiss him? Do you think he is definitely interested in me? Well, if you wanna hold off on the kiss, try touching him - like running your hand on his leg, waist or something and see if he pulls away or how he reacts to it.
Gary S Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 Dude is "39" not "19" here... If he doesn't know how to show romantic interest w/o overdoing it, then something's really wrong. - I know, it's surprising... but it's a confusing world, some guys forget what to do. Plus, they watch too much TV
Lansing Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 Sounds like he might be waiting for a sign from you that it is okay to proceed. I have been in similar situations dating younger girls and wondering if they were "interested" or just friendly. Usually I just go for it after a few dates but sometimes it can be nerve racking trying to figure out if a girl is potentially interested.... So, try to hint or reciprocate a bit of touch back. 2
SmartDude Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 I also think that the age difference is a factor here. He may be thinking that waiting to get physical is what you want.
Necris Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 Dude is "39" not "19" here... If he doesn't know how to show romantic interest w/o overdoing it, then something's really wrong. Now that's sad you'd jump to conclusions like that, some guys don't have experience like that.
Author lizzy12 Posted May 10, 2015 Author Posted May 10, 2015 I do want to proceed slowly (not sleep together until we are ready) but I would be happy if he would touch me maybe on my back or hold my hand or something. I don't really like to initiate too much and would prefer to hint that it's okay to go ahead.
regine_phalange Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 Kiss him on the cheek next to the lips. Grab his arm when you walk. KISS HIM.
jen1447 Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 If you don't want to just grab him yourself, you can give him signals that physicality is ok by touching arms when you walk and just generally getting in his personal space. 2
compulsivedancer Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 When you hug, press your body into his. Make sure your hips are touching. If you can manage it without being awkward, run your hands through his hair, or lean back and look him in the eyes without letting go. This should naturally lead to a kiss. 1
Author lizzy12 Posted May 11, 2015 Author Posted May 11, 2015 Okay fourth 'date' and he ramps up the touching- to nervously patting my hand across the table lol. Does it look like he is just shy with me? I was worried before he might be a player, but if he is so shy is it really unlikely.
Author lizzy12 Posted May 11, 2015 Author Posted May 11, 2015 Perhaps these dates are not in romantic places so there's no feeling for romance? We just go to loud places and they're full of people.
Author lizzy12 Posted May 11, 2015 Author Posted May 11, 2015 He's probably a virgin Omg but he is nearly 40!! He is geeky though. But he does do many hobbies that have women in them so it's not like he doesn't have female friends. But is it almost definitely he isn't a player? I was worried about why he hasn't settled down when he is 40.
d0nnivain Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 That sounds scarily bold!!!! Don't have the courage to text him that. Haven't flirted with him by text or in person. If you are not flirting with him during these dates, no wonder he hasn't kissed you. He isn't sure you want him to. My DH didn't kiss me until our 3rd date. If he hadn't kissed me that night I was fully prepared to dump him. I really ramped it up though: short tight skirt, high heels, I grabbed his arm to steady myself as I walked. I stared at his lips & licked mine. It worked. At the very least you need to give him a peck on the cheek, preferably hello at the start of the next date. If he's not breaking the touch barrier, you must. He is absolutely NOT a player. Players are smooth & have no problem going for a kiss / sex. At almost 40 if he's this awkward, he probably hasn't had a lot of chances with women. You have to make him more comfortable. 1
madjac74 Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 But he does do many hobbies that have women in them so it's not like he doesn't have female friends. Depends on what hobbies but maybe he is gay. One of my late night hobbies usually involves a few women
ascendotum Posted May 11, 2015 Posted May 11, 2015 Sounds like he might be waiting for a sign from you that it is okay to proceed. I have been in similar situations dating younger girls and wondering if they were "interested" or just friendly. Usually I just go for it after a few dates but sometimes it can be nerve racking trying to figure out if a girl is potentially interested.... So, try to hint or reciprocate a bit of touch back. I agree with this. With those long dates I reckon he is into the OP, but is not quite sure she sees him in the same light. I think the age difference would add a little to his doubt plus throw in the fact that he is geeky so probably not so forward with women but holds out for some IOIs coming back from the woman so he can be more sure on making a move. He touched her hands a few times on the dates,and I'm sure he was looking for some signs back, like her initiating the same, or a smile back or her moving a little closer or moving her leg to touch his, etc. If he got nothing back, then he could wonder if she was positively receptive
Recommended Posts