Redemption04 Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 There was a guy I was friends with the very end of college (last spring). There was physical attraction, and apparently some kind of emotional attraction or something on his end, I don't know. This culminated into a drunk kiss in a bar one night. It was brief, terrible, and I told him it would never happen again. So it didn't. But not because he stopped hoping. He would make comments (ie, I'd mention a restaurant, and he'd say "is that a hint?" and stuff like that). We would do homework, study for exams together (and I attribute some of my success on finals to him), frequent texting, and overall we got along very well. As just friends we would have been great. But I think he was definitely always hoping for me to change my mind. This culminated the end of may, when he went on a clinging streak. He would consistently ask if I had any plans on Friday and Saturday nights (this began when one night my friends and I made the mistake of inviting him on a girls night at the bars), even though he had moved home for the summer (so it's not like he was hoping to get invited--he was just being nosey). I eventually got sick of it, and decided to ignore him. (basically, I ignored his texts for a couple days, to get him to leave me calm down, and he proceeded to text me like 6 times in a row, before calling me. Then I finally told him he needed to back off--and NOT contact me anymore. And he kept good on his word. I never heard from him again, until March. Because we all know they don't really believe rejection is permanent. It was a decent, platonic, normal conversation. He texted me last night--he's up here for graduation watching some of his friends graduate. He asked if I quote "briefly wanted to meet and catch up". I said okay. We agreed on a place we've been before (a café) and a time. Now my paranoid self is taking over...Should I be worried he's going to shoot me or something? It's still not to late to cancel.
Lansing Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 Wow, shoot you? Jump to conclusions much... If you don't enjoy his company and think he is crazy enough to shoot you then maybe you should just be blunt with him and say "hey, I think it is better that we both move on/ don't talk anymore" I have had situations with girls where I was trying to gone friendly and they would just constantly flake so now I am at the point where I don't put in effort unless it is reciprocated. I would rather a person be more blunt then try to drag things on and me contact them again and again because they are "busy"
La.Primavera Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 I don't understand how it escalated to potential murder.. but I guess that is beside the point. You are obviously uncomfortable or scared so you have to let him know you don't want to meet up at all. After that you need to block his number and anything on social media. Do not talk to him again.
Author Redemption04 Posted May 10, 2015 Author Posted May 10, 2015 You are obviously uncomfortable or scared . I was involved with a really bad guy when I was younger--It's not that it's thit particular guy who makes me uncomfortable, it's just since my incident years ago, I don't give men the benefit of the doubt. That's how my paranoia can quickly escalate. Haha. Just wondering if less paranoid people think I should be worried, or if it's really a guy who has gotten over it, andwants to catch up and be friends like we were, and should have been.
mongo Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 you sound like a paranoid, trifling, cross grained female i wouldnt fool with. give me that guys number so i can tell him hes wasting his time.
Thermals Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 (edited) I've posted my message to the wrong thread. Moderator please delete. Edited May 10, 2015 by Thermals
jen1447 Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 Based on the limited snapshot you gave us, I don't see any reason to think he's dangerous specifically. Do you know something we don't, like he has a history of violence or criminal behavior? Quite possibly he'll resume the clinging death grip tho. Sorry to preach but I can't resist telling you that you handled him poorly. Why would you think ignoring him would result in his behavior evening out? Dismissive rejection is generally the worst kind - pretty dehumanizing.
Recommended Posts