Ashley S Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 Hi everyone! So, I am talking to this guy, and we became close. Whenever he's drunk, he always says he wants to date me, but when he's sober he's just normal with me. Also, when he's drunk he says "If any guy has sex with you, they're done." He says that a lot, and he grabs and touches my hand a lot. When he was drunk, he said to me "Ashley I want you to be my girlfriend. I want to date you." I say "Ok." Because I always think he's gonna forget the next day, and then he's like "No, you won't. You won't date me. You won't be my girlfriend." I said "Yeah I will." he said "No, you won't go out with me." Then another time he said to my friend in front of me "I would date Ashley in two seconds, she's a really good girl." He always somehow, mentions dating with me when he's drunk, but when he's sober he acts normal, and friendly with me. He doesn't act flirty, and he even says to me when he's sober "I am done with dating. I don't believe in love, I got hurt way too many times, and I was in love, and I am scared of women because of it." When he's sober he pretty much says he'll never date anyone, so it confuses me. A lot of people say he really likes me, and I was upset and depressed about my one friend, and he said "I really care about you, everything you feel, I feel too. I am so sorry you're going through this. I wish there was something I could do." So, I don't know. Does it sound like a guy who is shy? Or is he just scared of women? Or is he BSing me? What do you think? Does he want to date me?
preraph Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 All this should be telling you that he doesn't feel he's good enough for you. And when someone is acting like that, they probably aren't, for whatever reason. 2
Buddhist Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 If the guy needs to be drunk to make a declaration of interest, that's not a guy who will treat you well when he's sober. He's got issues, ones you can't help him with. I would give him a wide berth. 2
Author Ashley S Posted May 10, 2015 Author Posted May 10, 2015 All this should be telling you that he doesn't feel he's good enough for you. And when someone is acting like that, they probably aren't, for whatever reason. I don't know. He does have low self esteem, but I think you are hinting at something bigger than that lol. Thanks for sharing your input.
Author Ashley S Posted May 10, 2015 Author Posted May 10, 2015 If the guy needs to be drunk to make a declaration of interest, that's not a guy who will treat you well when he's sober. He's got issues, ones you can't help him with. I would give him a wide berth. I don't know if it is me in a way, that makes it hard for him to say how he feels when he's sober because I am not flirty or anything, and so he takes a shot when he's drunk? Or if it is all bull****, I have no idea. I don't really know, but he's really nice and normal when he's sober. He's just flirty and bold when he's drunk.
loverboy69 Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 I don't know. He does have low self esteem, but I think you are hinting at something bigger than that lol. Thanks for sharing your input. I've had guys do this to me too. They'll either be self deprecating around me or say things like: "You hate me," or "You don't like me, huh?" When men say things like this they are generally trying to get validation from you because they have a certain level of insecurity about the way you might feel about them. Drinking lowers inhibition with everyone. The fact that he asks you out when he's drunk tells you that he's wanted to ask you out all along but he's just too afraid to do it when sober. Once he sobers up he's afraid to take it to the next level. Maybe he doesn't know how? Sometimes men (including myself) tend to initially put the object of our affection on a pedestal when we become infatuated with them. That makes us nervous around you. There are so many beautiful men and women out there but when we fall for someone we tend to get tunnel vision and nobody else matters. I don't think he's a bad guy. He might have low self esteem like you said but we're all human and we all have issues. The less confident male will need your reassurance to get him going. Believe me once he's able to maintain a normal comfort level with you he won't be shy about anything and will generally try to take control the way most men do.
Fleur de cactus Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 In vino veritas . I am not sure if i wrote it right but it is a latin expression meaning when you are drunk you say the truth you cannot say when you are sober . Just give him a chance. Ask him if he means what he says when he is drunk . Ask him when he is sober and see his response. Good luck.
El Pallasso Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 You always act like you don't know what's going on. Are you really that clueless? 2
Recommended Posts