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A question for the girls who did the dumping !

Aguardiente83

By Aguardiente83
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Aguardiente83 Member

Aguardiente83

Posted
Posted

This is a question for the girls who did the dumping and then your ex did no contact with you. What were your feeling and your reactions to your ex taking the upper hand and stoping all contact with you, what did you realize, what did you do? did you regret your decision, did things work out between the both of you, how long did the NC go on for?? everything

Anais Established Member

Anais

Posted
Posted

This is a question for the girls who did the dumping and then your ex did no contact with you.

 

 

What were your feeling and your reactions to your ex taking the upper hand and stoping all contact with you,

what did you realize, what did you do?

I was suprised. Sad to loose a friend. Happy for him to move on. I tried to contact him couple of times ( mainly because I was worried for him) and then finally got that something is wrong.

 

 

did you regret your decision,

no

 

 

did things work out between the both of you,

no

 

how long did the NC go on for??

 

more than 3 years now and i think forever.

Merin Established Member

Merin

Posted
Posted
Originally posted by Aguardiente83

This is a question for the girls who did the dumping and then your ex did no contact with you. What were your feeling and your reactions to your ex taking the upper hand and stoping all contact with you, what did you realize, what did you do? did you regret your decision, did things work out between the both of you, how long did the NC go on for?? everything

 

I broke up with my BF of almost 2 years in December...

 

I was relieved when he finally stopped contacting me.

 

I never saw it as him having the "Upper Hand" I needed him to stop and eventually (for awhile) he did... He text messages me on occassion still and I erase them and don't respond.

 

I don't regret my decision to end the relationship.. it wasn't good for me.

I honestly have no idea how he is or where he is.. while I don't wish anything bad for him, I just really don't think about him anymore all that often.

 

We have not actually spoken to one another since December...

Jtizzle Established Member

Jtizzle

Posted
Posted

What were your feeling and your reactions to your ex taking the upper hand and stoping all contact with you, what did you realize, what did you do?

 

When my ex stopped all contact with me, it showed me exactly what he was all about. before i met him he was a mess and life just all wrong.when we dated i made him think positive and do right and he seemed to progress and like the way life was looking for him. then wen he moved away to a lower class city (for lack of better terms) and was away from me more,he changed and went back to his old ways, even though he new better. so that showed me that he was just doing the semi improvement for me instead of HISSELF. so in a sense seeing that in him showed me that i made the right decision in leaving him.

 

DID i regret my decision? HELL NO sorry for the profane, but i have more money in my pockets, dude was a leach..

 

did things work out btween us? NO and im happy i dont need negativity in my life or someone who dont want to help themselves be somebody in the future.

 

Nc goin on for a good month and a half, i have nothing to say to him

lovehurts23 New Member

lovehurts23

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Posted

If the girls are on here talking about it, it obviously bothers them. They're using the same tactics toward your question as they've been using toward their ex's. It's all in their heads. Been told to say those things so that they don't feel hurt about the break-up, but really they feel differently. thats just my opinion. ;) Women are very confusing-and most are mainly after the materialistic things in life. dump her if shes messing with you.

Firesqueak Member

Firesqueak

Posted
Posted

Personally, when I dumped my older-man (no, not married, just older), I didn't care if he took the, "upper hand."

 

He was like, "I just don't feel like us talking is condusive to my happiness."

 

I said, "Do what you gotta do."

 

I was very relieved, because he was alot more "in" to me then I was him. I just didnt' care.

 

Then, even after we had broken up, he was very hurt because, "I didn't care that he was out of my life." He said, "it seems that you truely are happier with out me, and I was only happy when I was around you."

 

Now, some of my ex boyfriends have been angry at me because I didn't want to be, "best friends," after we had broken up, because they thought that we had a deeper relationship then that.

 

Yeah, well, screw you. You dumped me, and I'll heal however I have to. ;-)

Lonestar Established Member

Lonestar

Posted
Posted

If I broke up with him, then I was happy he stopped contacting me.

Ty Established Member

Ty

Posted
Posted

Advise from the ladies then.. The ex-girlfriend broke up with me about a month and a half ago because she needed space, be with friends, college experiance.. blah blah, i've posted about it probably too many times..

 

Shes wanting to call me like weekly now because I don't call her.. I have been answering her calls and we talk, flirt, and all that for like 30 minutes, the last conversation lasted like 2 hours.. I have made some adjustments in my life since the breakup that I needed to make. Overall it has made me alot happier person. She even said things like "you haven't sounded this great since we started going out", "you seem alot more confident now"... and says "she wants to take things slow with us", whatever that means.."or we will both be up here for the summer" because we will both be up here at school without many friends....

 

Should I just not answer the call next time she calls? Should I answer and cut it short? Should I blow her off? I really do want another chance at us, but I think maybe her talking to me all the time makes her feel like she still has me there waiting for her? Any input is appreciated.. I mean it shows she is still wanting to talk to me, and the chemistry is so good.. How can I speed up the process of her wanting me back..

Merin Established Member

Merin

Posted
Posted
Originally posted by lovehurts23

If the girls are on here talking about it, it obviously bothers them. They're using the same tactics toward your question as they've been using toward their ex's. It's all in their heads. Been told to say those things so that they don't feel hurt about the break-up, but really they feel differently. thats just my opinion. ;) Women are very confusing-and most are mainly after the materialistic things in life. dump her if shes messing with you.

 

Omg LMAO!

 

I answered this thread because the orginal poster asked a question to Women who had ended thier relationships my guess is he was looking for some insight as to what may on his EXGF's mind.

 

I in no way am saying that what was on my mind when I broke up with my BF is what the orginal posters Girl is feeling or thinking.. just that it was my experience.

 

I didn't use "Tactics" in breaking up with my EXBF.. for real, how much clearer can a person (not just a woman) make it when they say "I don't want this with you anymore.." there isn't any tactics to be used... :rolleyes:

 

I also NEVER said the break up didn't hurt... I said I don't regret it.

 

AND last thing... I really, really, REALLY hate it when people have had a bad experience with this, that, the other then make broad assumptions like "Women are after material things" ya know.. sorry your Girl tried to bleed ya like that, but saying that because that happend to you or was your experience that it is that way in even MOST cases is ridiculous.

Firesqueak Member

Firesqueak

Posted
Posted

Right on, Merin.

 

It's always sad when something that could have been so good, ends up being so bad, and then you have to be the one to end it because the other person just...can't, or isn't willing to admit that enough is enough.

 

Just me personally, I hate hurting people. But sometimes, it's better to hurt a little at first, then drag the pain out.

 

rip that band-aid right off, I say! :bunny:

Illusion24 Established Member

Illusion24

Posted
Posted
What were your feeling and your reactions to your ex taking the upper hand and stopping all contact with you, what did you realize, what did you do?

 

He hasn't stopped all contact...the calls have been getting less and less. But I feel I made this choice, it's what I wanted so if he stops calling I can't blame him...eventually it's just a sign he got over me.

 

did you regret your decision, did things work out between the both of you, how long did the NC go on for?? everything

 

I didn't regret my decision, one thing I've learned in the past years is that I don't make in decision for instant gratification or because that's just how I feel right at this moment. I think about my feelings and what I want, then I move on towards making my feelings into actions.

We came to an agreement we would still talk every now and then to see how we're doing, but who knows how long that will keep up.

 

Now, do I miss him...Sometimes, but I miss laughing and playing around with him...I don't necessarily miss him as a boyfriend, kissing him, hugging him, or being intimate...I miss him as a friend, in some ways I feel I lost a good friend but I know if I ever need anything he'll be their for me as I will be their for him.

I also think about how much I hurt him and it does make my stomach hurt but it would've been worse if I stayed with him...He would have gotten more hurt.

Merin Established Member

Merin

Posted
Posted
Originally posted by Firesqueak

Right on, Merin.

 

It's always sad when something that could have been so good, ends up being so bad, and then you have to be the one to end it because the other person just...can't, or isn't willing to admit that enough is enough.

 

Just me personally, I hate hurting people. But sometimes, it's better to hurt a little at first, then drag the pain out.

 

rip that band-aid right off, I say! :bunny:

 

Word sister ;)

Illusion24 Established Member

Illusion24

Posted
Posted
If the girls are on here talking about it, it obviously bothers them. They're using the same tactics toward your question as they've been using toward their ex's. It's all in their heads. Been told to say those things so that they don't feel hurt about the break-up, but really they feel differently. thats just my opinion. Women are very confusing-and most are mainly after the materialistic things in life. dump her if shes messing with you.

 

OH man you have no clue...the last thing I need is a man to PROVIDE for me...I have my own company, my own ride, and my own crib...

 

Someone is really really confused about woman...I wonder who it is?? ;)

Didthedumping

Didthedumping

Posted
Posted

I dumped my exhusband (divorced him) and four months later he shows up at my doorstep to tell me "I know you don't really think it's over between us do you?".

 

I had to laugh and ask "You are as stupid as I thought you were - and clueless....divorce means OVER dude!".

 

We tried being friends but that works for a while but old resentments never die.

 

I dumped him - he came back - we tried to be friends - I dumped him again. A tiger never changes his stripes. He screwed up the first time and I refused to put up with it - ended it - then being nice and hoping as two grown adults we could remain civil with each other - his stupidity resurfaced and once again he proved what a jerk he is.

 

Don't give them second chances - it doesn't work.

lovehurts23 New Member

lovehurts23

Posted
Posted

Hehe, i knew it would cause a stir! I didnt mean it like that. Did i say all women were like that? --- i said most. Til they find someone they actually love they just want someone to leach onto and a few hearts get broken in the process. All relationships are different. oh, by the way, this is nothing to do with my experience. I've seen my friends go through it and it's not nice to watch a friend go through it. i'm still with my gf and very happy with eachother thankyou very much. we're over our problems. and thats none of your business to be honest. thanks ;)

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