5th day of no contact, she's tried to contact me, trying to hold out for a month.

[Aguardiente83]

Hey guys whats up,

So for those of yous who don't know my story here it is in a nutshell. My girlfriend of three years broke up with me cuz she felt things were getting to serious and she wanted to see the world and see other people. She still wanted to remain friends. She started talking to someone a week after she broke up with me and I think that now they're dating. She said she really likes him and she eventually wants to go out with him. I took her out last saturday for her birthday and she had a great time and i told her that I couldn't see her anymore, atleast for a couple of months, cuz i need to forget about her, that i wanted to fall out of love with her and move on with my life. But i told her that we could still talk on the phone if she ever needed anything like advice or something. She started to cry and said that she didn't want me to stop wanting to be with her and she said that she was feeling good about us cuz a week prior to that i had done no contact for 3 days and then i broke it but she told me that those three days were the worst three days of her life, that all she did was cry and think that she had made a mistake by breaking up with me.

That brings us to today, i took her out on saturday, her actual birthday was on sunday and she spent it with that guy. I haven't spoken to her since, she sent me an e-mail on monday morning which was so stupid cuz in the middle of the email she was like "holy sh*t, i totally forgot that you told me not to contact you unless it was something serious or imortant, o well, if you don't e-mail me back i'll know you were serious about it". then that same night she sent me an e-card, i haven't opened it cuz when you open those cards they send a message to the sender saying that you recieved it and i don't want her to keep tabs on me, i'll probably open it in a week or two so she can wonder "what has he been so busy with that he can't read his mail?", so on tuseday she didn't contact me and on wnsday it was the same, and today she called me at 10 in the morning telling me that some people had called her from the cell phone account (we have a joint account), she mentioned that and she said that it was really nice to hear my voice on my voicemail, she said that she hoped that i'm ok and that she's "so-so", at the end of the voicemail she was acting really cute and said like 4 really long goodbyes in a really sweet way. throughout the whole message she sounded like she was sad but she was trying to sound happy. I wanted so badly to call her but i don't want to for atleast a month, i mean, sure i'm thinking she's maybe starting to miss me but she hasn't given me any concrete evidence that she is, and its only been 5 days.

Whats do you guys think? does it sound like she's missing me? how long should i do the NC for? overall advice would be appreciated

[tanbark813]

Well she's definitely missing you. Just keep in mind that if she really thought breaking up was a mistake, then she'd ask you back and not be seeing some other guy. She's calling because she wants you on the back burner.

 

Stay strong, bro, and keep up the NC indefinitely.

[Gottabestrong]

Hi Aguar,

 

if you read my posts you know that I am in a comparable situation.

 

My ex broke up with me 7 months ago but strung me along for 'friendship' for six months. In those 6 months he was never that interested in contacting me and we even went for 6 weeks without any contact once.

 

Anyway, after 6 months I decided that this could go on no longer and that I had to stay away from him and go NC for as long as possible, at least for 6 weeks.

 

Well, a few days after I started NC he started contacting me, first a few texts, then some emails and then 2 calls. He left me a voice mail saying that he was concerned about me and that I should please just tell him that I am okay, and then he was gonna leave me alone.

 

Even though it had only been 3 weeks of NC I wrote him a short mail, because I did not want him to go on contacting me asking for a sign of life.

 

Well, guess what. Same evening he started texting my sister! He had not had any contact with her in 7 months or so. In his texts he asked whether I had a new guy or not.

 

Point I am trying to make is that I really regret breaking NC. If he was that worried about me, he could have contacted my sister before and asked if I was okay. It was just a ploy to get some response out of me.

 

The first 3 weeks of NC were not that hard, but since I replied to him, 9 days ago, every minute seems to last for hours. The days don't seem to pass and I am feeling very sad and lonely.

 

So my advice to you is 'Don't break NC'! If you set yourself a time limit of 1 month, then stick to it. If only to show yourself that your wishes matter more to you than hers.

 

Since the day I replied he has not contacted me anymore and I feel like this was some kind of power struggle and I lost. Not only did he dump me, but he also demonstrated to the both of us that he can still get me to reply to him, even if I obviously don't want to. Not a good feeling.

 

Good luck and hope you are stronger than me!

[Marshbear]

Originally posted by tanbark813

Well she's definitely missing you. Just keep in mind that if she really thought breaking up was a mistake, then she'd ask you back and not be seeing some other guy. She's calling because she wants you on the back burner.

 

Stay strong, bro, and keep up the NC indefinitely.

 

I agree with tanbark813. She wants you around in case but not enough to be with you. Let her go find what she thinks she's looking for. I would do NC indefinitely. She just said the friends thing for her own conscious. You don't want her a just a friend. Hang in there and find someone else....