nero1 Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 I've asked this girl from running club out before but she's always said she's busy, so I was pretty convinced she wasn't interested. She was really flirty and always touching me and letting me touch her (clean! tickling, hugging that sort of thing) so I thought she was attracted to me, but she never wanted to date me. In the week I had asked her to spend the day with me this weekend after running but she said no. After running we normally spend an hour or two in town just dossing, it's always a lot of fun. Today however, as she had said no to spending the day together, I just spoke to her after the run and said goodbye then went into town by myself. Saw my phone when I got back to my car after shopping - two missed calls from her. Guess she did want to hang out after all?? I tried calling back but she didn't answer so I texted saying missed your call what did you want, she said "nothing it's okay xx". I was convinced she liked me cos of how close we were getting every time we saw each other, and cos she now texts me out of the blue whereas before it was either me texting her first or no texts at all. I never hid the fact that I liked her. I asked her out early on and when she said no I asked again a week later. Now that I've stopped showing her I want her, is that gonna make her want me more?? I have heard girls are like that sometimes but I've never experienced it. Should I ask her out again? Also, she broke up with her boyfriend a few weeks before I asked her out first, which I didn't know about. Maybe she wasn't ready then but is maybe ready now?
Eagle's-bargain Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 I avoid women who've just got out of a relationship or are desperate to get into one. If I haven't known them for at least 3-6 months, I don't even bother dating them.
Author nero1 Posted May 9, 2015 Author Posted May 9, 2015 Yeah I guess their emotions are subject to change following a break up, but it's not every day I have to make the choice between giving a smoking hot girl a chance and not giving a smoking hot girl a chance! Would you say the biggest impacting factor is her being newly single, rather than me somehow putting her off?
elaine567 Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 I think I would leave her to stew a while longer, she already said no to you, this weekend. I guess if you all go out and ask her out now, it will be easy for her to say no again. She was interested enough to text you but she sort of shut you down when you answered and she could just shut you down again if you ask her out now. I would continue the friendly but not that interested act and see where that takes you. 1
fitnessfan365 Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 Just my opinion, but I'd forget her. 1) She's too high maintenance playing this hot and cold game. My attitude is that if a woman wants to spend time with me, she gives me a direct acceptance the first time I ask. I don' play hard to get games. 2) If she just broke up with her boyfriend two weeks before you asked her out, she is most likely going to be on the rebound. So that alone should disqualify her if you're looking for a woman with potential. But if you're just looking for casual sex, she may be down if anything just to get her ex out of her system.
Author nero1 Posted May 9, 2015 Author Posted May 9, 2015 @ Elaine - I think that's how I'll play it. I see her once a week, how long shall I keep this going? And when she texts me, same thing? I don't wanna be a jerk to her, I want her to keep thinking I'm a good person 1
calvincline47 Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 I've asked this girl from running club out before but she's always said she's busy, so I was pretty convinced she wasn't interested. She was really flirty and always touching me and letting me touch her (clean! tickling, hugging that sort of thing) so I thought she was attracted to me, but she never wanted to date me. In the week I had asked her to spend the day with me this weekend after running but she said no. After running we normally spend an hour or two in town just dossing, it's always a lot of fun. Today however, as she had said no to spending the day together, I just spoke to her after the run and said goodbye then went into town by myself. Saw my phone when I got back to my car after shopping - two missed calls from her. Guess she did want to hang out after all?? I tried calling back but she didn't answer so I texted saying missed your call what did you want, she said "nothing it's okay xx". I was convinced she liked me cos of how close we were getting every time we saw each other, and cos she now texts me out of the blue whereas before it was either me texting her first or no texts at all. I never hid the fact that I liked her. I asked her out early on and when she said no I asked again a week later. Now that I've stopped showing her I want her, is that gonna make her want me more?? I have heard girls are like that sometimes but I've never experienced it. Should I ask her out again? Also, she broke up with her boyfriend a few weeks before I asked her out first, which I didn't know about. Maybe she wasn't ready then but is maybe ready now? Sounds like she's playing games. You can probably swing it, but it depends on how much BS you are willing to put up with to get this girl. 1
calvincline47 Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 @ Elaine - I think that's how I'll play it. I see her once a week, how long shall I keep this going? And when she texts me, same thing? I don't wanna be a jerk to her, I want her to keep thinking I'm a good person She's not treating you particularly well, man. No need to prove your goodness to her. My recommendation is to talk to other girls and friendzone this one. She'll come around most likely at some point, but, like I said, unless you think she is truly worth the BS, I wouldn't bother. What do you like about this girl besides her looks? 1
elaine567 Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 @ Elaine - I think that's how I'll play it. I see her once a week, how long shall I keep this going? And when she texts me, same thing? I don't wanna be a jerk to her, I want her to keep thinking I'm a good person I think you need to be confident, be friendly, but a bit more nonchalant as if it doesn't matter to you whether she speaks to you or not. You could always try talking to some other girl too at the running. Show her you are no pushover, but do not exclude her completely, there is no need to be a jerk. Just show her there is more to you than just some guy waiting for her to take notice of him. It may take a while, but do not develop oneitis, if some other great girl shows you real attraction, then a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. 2
Author nero1 Posted May 9, 2015 Author Posted May 9, 2015 (edited) @calvincline thanks for the responses. I'm doing as you suggested - not focussing all my attention on this one girl, but out of anyone I'm talking to at the moment from work or running or anything else I do, she's definitely the one I'm most in to. Aside from her looks she also has great family values, loves animals and nature (like me), she's playful and we seem to make each other laugh a LOT. It puzzled me that I couldn't score a date with her when I asked, but that was before I knew she was newly single. I don't know, it's certainly not a write-off. Edited May 9, 2015 by nero1 corrected spelling 1
Author nero1 Posted May 9, 2015 Author Posted May 9, 2015 @elaine the first sign of attraction came from her, the first text came from her, she doesn't hide the fact that she's into me but for whatever reason she just didn't say yes to a date with me! With her recent break up and final exams (over the next month) I think you're right in saying that friendzoning/treading water on this one might be the best option. I don't want to mess with her head any more than I'd want her to mess with mine.
LostOne1 Posted May 9, 2015 Posted May 9, 2015 @calvincline thanks for the responses. I'm doing as you suggested - not focussing all my attention on this one girl, but out of anyone I'm talking to at the moment from work or running or anything else I do, she's definitely the one I'm most in to. Aside from her looks she also has great family values, loves animals and nature (like me), she's playful and we seem to make each other laugh a LOT. It puzzled me that I couldn't score a date with her when I asked, but that was before I knew she was newly single. I don't know, it's certainly not a write-off. See... I did the same **** yesterday... and I got ****ed over. I started to get choosey from the women I am seeing now or meeting. And the girl was at the top of my list... but in the end kinda of putting all my attention on her killed anything we had in the end.... My advice is just to be sure you do't end up idolizing her... or waiting too long. Otherwise, it's going to be a HUGE disappointment when **** doesn't go right. And you have over invested your time and energy on her.
Author nero1 Posted May 9, 2015 Author Posted May 9, 2015 @lostone yuck, sorry to hear that. At this point if nothing was to come of it between me and her I wouldn't be too hurt, but it would suck. I think I've chased her enough at this point; if she doesn't make an effort now then I'll cut my losses rather than letting it get as far along as your situation got. Thanks for the response 1
Author nero1 Posted May 10, 2015 Author Posted May 10, 2015 This might be a daft question but would it be so wrong of me to simply text her asking whether or not she does want us to date some time? Regardless of how she feels, I'd like to know. Having her in my head and not knowing what she thinks of me is kinda occupying my thoughts!
Lansing Posted May 10, 2015 Posted May 10, 2015 I wouldn't say "do you want to date" but maybe ask her out on a "date" again or ask her to hang out onside of your run group (ie another time besides your post run)
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