No thank you,, no offer?

[LostOne1]

hEY, ya did great! Some guys can't get to date one, let alone a 2nd date.

 

Next time, give her the kiss test on date one, and put a grade on it.

Hey thanks!

 

Yeah, the past I barley would get to date #1... if at all.

 

I guess after trying so many times, I've gotten used to it and it seems fairly easy or comfortable to ask for a girls number. And with that setting up a date with her for some coffee to chat. That now has really gelled well with me and it's something that just feels totally normal.

 

The next step is the kiss... which is WAY off my comfort zone. So, I guess I need to start getting those going soon to also get comfortable with it.

[LostOne1]

Yes, and she is not only showing signs of not being interested, she is also being a big rude jerk! Checking a phone during a date is sometimes necessary but doing it constantly is ridiculous and over-the-top self-absorbed.

 

Its NOT an honorable thing, that she was "honest" telling you she was both bored and tired. That's really rude and hateful, actually. What is the point of telling someone you are bored with their company unless its just to make them feel like crap?

 

I think the qualities you thought you saw at the beginning have now been negated by how her personality is, in reality.

 

I just realized I did do something rude too. I was telling her a joke and she didn't get it. I tried again and she still didn't get it. So I waved my hand and said "forget it".....

 

I know at that moment I felt bad for doing that.... I was like **** I should be apologizing or something. And, that just made it worse, because after that I lost all confidence. I knew that was going to kill anything at all!

I partly did it because I started to feel anxiety and stopped being myself too. It was like I was starting to shut down because being me or awkward or what ever was not working. I guess I just felt like my confidence was decreasing as the date went on and on.... it was like taking hit after hit till I lost almost all confidence.

 

So, I guess I am some what to blame too. I think what I should've done and this is for the future. Is make fun of the situation... normally that is the REAL me.

 

If it's quiet and we stare... the REAL me would start laughing and then say "hahah I like how we're both staring to the side and seem nervous or awkward, but I'm sure this is normal at times when you're meeting someone new". Or something along those lines, where I'm acknowledging the issue, but trying to make it seem like it's totally funny and yet normal.

 

I just didn't do that for this date, because as most people have said... I idolized her too much to be able to be myself around her. Another lesson learned!

[Auspecial]

I just don't get why the hell she showed up to the date then?

 

Yeah she did do it a bit early on. Then I kind of engaged her with some questions. She was answering them truthfully. But, I felt she didn't want to be there. She would always look at the waitress, her phone and the tv when I wasn't asking her something.

 

I think she is kind of a brat... I do know she is the oldest kid. I think she is used to always being the top of the class or what not. So maybe she has that attitude of her being this super amazing person that everyone should look up at/too.

 

I have to agree now that you have brought it up. Her personality sucks. If it was me and I was actually bored. I'd try my best to DO something about it. Maybe there might be no chemistry, but I'd try to make the date as fun as possible. I rather TRY my best, than give up and be an assole by playing with my phone or tell her she's boring (I've only said this to a woman as a joke when she wasn't talking much to get her to open up and feel more comfortable).

 

Exactly!!

 

What normally functioning person would purposefully state they are bored with the company they have chosen to be with??!

 

Sometimes the packaging does not fit whats in the package.

[Auspecial]

I just realized I did do something rude too. I was telling her a joke and she didn't get it. I tried again and she still didn't get it. So I waved my hand and said "forget it".....

 

I know at that moment I felt bad for doing that.... I was like **** I should be apologizing or something. And, that just made it worse, because after that I lost all confidence. I knew that was going to kill anything at all!

I partly did it because I started to feel anxiety and stopped being myself too. It was like I was starting to shut down because being me or awkward or what ever was not working. I guess I just felt like my confidence was decreasing as the date went on and on.... it was like taking hit after hit till I lost almost all confidence.

 

So, I guess I am some what to blame too. I think what I should've done and this is for the future. Is make fun of the situation... normally that is the REAL me.

 

If it's quiet and we stare... the REAL me would start laughing and then say "hahah I like how we're both staring to the side and seem nervous or awkward, but I'm sure this is normal at times when you're meeting someone new". Or something along those lines, where I'm acknowledging the issue, but trying to make it seem like it's totally funny and yet normal.

 

I just didn't do that for this date, because as most people have said... I idolized her too much to be able to be myself around her. Another lesson learned!

 

 

its all a journey, not a destination.

[LostOne1]

Exactly!!

 

What normally functioning person would purposefully state they are bored with the company they have chosen to be with??!

 

Sometimes the packaging does not fit whats in the package.

Yeah... I guess it just sucked to see her like so many things I did.. I mean we liked the same books too.

 

In fact, I became inspired by her. She was reading other new books and was taking a public speaking class. So, it motived me so much, that I have decided to take a class too.

 

I guess the sad part is she will never know....

 

But in the end you are totally right.

Almost every other date I have gone on... usually the girl will say "thanks for X".

 

I still can't believe she did not thank me regardless of how bad the date went.

 

One of my friends was telling me that she probably felt that I should be the one to pay. Mostly, because if I invited her and she had a bad experience. Than, it's on me or my fault or my loss.... not sure how true this fact is?

 

On a positive note, a girl that I liked. We had stopped talking 4 months ago. She msg me asking to catch up, and it felt sooooo good to hear her THANK me for coffee and for holding the door. It was finally good to hear and notice a polite woman who genuinely cares for others and when they do things for her.

Edited May 13, 2015 by LostOne1